commited sin

In the world of Maple, there are four, main, equal classes:

Warriors- Respected for their strength
Archers-Known for their accuracy in long ranges
Mages-REknowned for healing arts and clearing big mobs
Thieves- Reformed or reforming villains that are quick and stealthy and accurate in their attacks

*clunk, clop clop, clunk*

the sound of the horse’s trot hypnotized Drake. As he sat in his little mobile prisoner cell, waiting for execution, he was thinking of what he possibly did to deserve this. All of a sudden, the mesmerizing trot, stopped. “It’s time…” Drake drooped is head, and slowly got up, and faced the exit of the cell.

“EXECUTION NUMBER 316, CHARGED FOR ATTAKING A CITIZEN AND STEALING HIS BELONGINGS…”
*They always have to make it sound so bad…* though Drake.
“PUNISHMENT:….” ther was a long pause “death…”
-The fanfare sounds-
The cell door opens, letting all the darkness in his cell to escape, the darkness that gave him safety and hope. As his eye’s adjusted to the blinding rays of the sun, he noticed that he wasn’t going to a gullotine, but a collusieum*.
*Oh great, they want me to have a painful death*
“RELEASE THE PRISONER.”
2 abused servant mages scurried to Drake, quickly took of his shackles without a word. The girl mage looked at Drake for a split second, as if in admiration, and turned back to her work.
“ADVANCE KNAVE”
Drake slowly trudges to the middle of the colusieum*, and droops his head back down to the same gloomy position.
“NOW MEET UR END…. RELEASE THE BEAST”

At the other end of the colusieum, the gates of a massive building slide up, to reveal and entrance only big enough enough for one monster….

“MEET YOUR END, BY THE HANDS OF BARLOG”
Drake glanced up at the entrance and saw a hideous, brown, and mostly, GINORMOUS beast, with lust of human in its eyes…
The abused mage girl scurries back to Drake and hands him his equipment, including a claw and dagger.
While she was returning to her master, the servant girl trips between Drake, and the gruesome Barlog.
The steps of Barlog sounded like the seconds left of Drake’s life, taunting him, taunting him to come, to come to hell

i kno i suck,
FLAMES BRING IT>.>
-gets out the fire extuinguisher-
LETS DANCE >.> no breaking o.o giv meh constructive critism

3 thoughts on “commited sin”

  1. Not bad, spell check can do wonders though.
    Try having someone proof read your work before submission.

    If you want, PM your drafts and I can correct them

  2. Actually, Nazgul, before the monster was referred to as the “Barlog” to the maplers
    Now, it has been changed to Balrog

    ~LaZzz. . .

  3. Longer please? Check your spelling. It’s Balrog, not Barlog. Reminds me of Gladiator .

    -=The Nazgul=-

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