A Hero’s Struggle Ch. 1

Author’s Note

Finally, I have completed this piece of work that took an unprecedented amount of time! An extremely long time!
For those of you who don’t know, this is the re-remake of this story! Yes, this shall be the third version I’m releasing! (Old one reached about 15 chapters and was incomplete)
Even during this one though, which took forever mostly because I only spent time on it during random times and took my time with it, I kept editing and editing it and editing it and probably re-wrote this chapter 2 or 3 times. This shall probably also be a longer author’s note because I have a lot to say.

I’m quite proud of this chapter! (although I’ve read it almost a million times and have grown bored of it)
But I cannot be the only one who takes credit here!
There are some people I’d really like to show my appreciation for and thank!
Blacknazgul: He deserves my utmost appreciation for helping me with tips, editing, even reading through! I hope you enjoy it nazgul!
Ganzicus: He also helped me out a bit by giving me some of his thoughts on some sentences I produced, also a good companion to chat with while I was writing this!
Dee and Basmo: Thanks for being such great supporters, and if anything I know you guys will simply love this one!

Also, a slight intro
This series shall be loaded with action and tons of adventure! Many questions that shall leave you hanging! Hopefully a bit of romance and drama!
The series shall have long chapters but probably not reach a very high chapter count! I will additionally try to make every chapter continue the story and expand it. No transitional chapters! ! !

This is considerably shorter than what I was going to release! But I finally figured out a good cut-off point!
The next chapter should be out soon since it’s almost complete!

I seek to improve! I wanna ask you guys some questions to help me though.
If I tell you to help me without giving you any pointers, you guys will all just kindly say “It’s good” or “Shorter plox!”
-I had a bit of trouble with transitions and really tried to improve the flow of the story. Transition and flow good?
-Also, if anyone knows a good way to improve vocab that would be amazing!

Okay, so please enjoy my presentation of the skills I possess in the writing department! (So in other words, read!)

Chapter 1: Pursuit of Spectacles

The existence is of time
A chain that eternally binds the spirit
But yet he is everywhere and free
The contents of his soul thrive with everything
A champion that struggled to achieve peace
And made a legacy through his journey
Learning about himself as the hero took unexpected turns
Making the last turn at a never halting road
Surviving and echoing on forever ~Damian

The pain was at war with his mind, trapping the warrior in an ambush of conflict. The source of this misery, memories, was making him quake with fear, his feet shuffling dangerously nearer to the periphery of the cliff. Memories of darkness were causing his mind’s eye to blink and show moments of undesirable flashbacks the victim had attempted to block from his past. The eyes stared widely but unfocused at the fiery horizon sitting on top of ruined cities. Each pupil of his eyes held an exotic white spark nestled in an area of black. Fall, and all life is doomed. Decide, and there’s still a chance. The mind belonging to him was tearing itself apart; he was ignorant of all the destruction all around him that would be written in history, if there even was a history left. Chaos or order,two words that were so incredibly powerful and crucial at that time were echoing against the walls of his skull. Suddenly, a careless thought broke the rhythm of the repeating phrase and through the terror infiltrating his mind It’s hard to believe that a couple of years ago you knew absolutely nothing about the world, not even if anyone else lived among you, and now you’re on the verge of deciding the world’s fate. Funny how life works. A simple thought can sometimes pop into the head at random times, and occasionally a thought like that can show up in pairs. “I choose. . .”


The life of the wind traversed through the mute darkness of night. The only light rested in the night sky, which held the dull moon and the millions of tiny stars in their random positions. A rushing breeze sprinted through the environment, stumbling across a dozing figure and covering the body with its chilly tenure. Still heavily asleep and unconscious, the body was ignorant of the change of temperature. Instead, his brain was weaving around different thoughts and creating images that belonged to a dream. The night became interrupted. Abruptly, the boy’s pools of thought froze at once and unexpectedly exploded violently, splattering drops all throughout the imaginary surface of view. In the physical aspect of the world, the nightmare escaped in the form of an involuntary scream blaring from his mouth. The waves of noise acted like a sonic boom, shattering the extreme silence of the forest, and the shout maintained for an unusually long while.

After finally having halted the terrible scream, he sat up and breathed in huge columns of air at a rapid rate, trying to regain composure. Beginning to calm down slightly from the insane terror he felt and was still sensing, the boy slowly slouched back down. Although, he did not close his grey and overstretched eyes once more, for fear that the darkness would once again latch at him. His thoughts were stubbornly running into mirrors that had trapped the sensation in its interior and were causing his contemplations to seem really clouded. Deciding that a simple walk was all that was required to clear his head, the traumatized boy lifted himself off the cold ground.

Through an adjustment of the eyes, he could trace the shapes of the objects of nature. He stood in the midst of the forest, recognizing the sounds and scenes of the night by implementing his tremendously developed senses. To him, the night was the darkest he had ever seen it, and the boy had experienced the blackness a thousand times. The nature was a familiar essence to him, being that the only knowledge he possessed was solely from instinct. Life had set him down somewhere in a random place of the world and had decided to abandon him. His thoughts had performed the same action today because they had just run away from him. The emptiness in his head left an uncanny silence behind; it was as if the nightmare had wiped his brain clean of all its contents.

Ruining his plan of retrieving order, came another vehicle of pain colliding straight into the windshield of his mind. Following right after was another thunderbolt of pain afflicting his mind. Continuing on, there were many strikes of pain that infiltrated his mind. He immediately clutched his head and bent down in agony. The pain left as quick as it had ambushed him. He peered into the air, as if hoping for an invisible figure to fade back into color to explain the shock he was experiencing. Through his terror-stricken face, he noticed the sky had turned much more of a lighter color. The sky blanketed the land in a sea of visibleness. The sun was about to take a peek above the horizon, and the individual noticed the irregularity that was about to take place.

As the light was seconds from unfolding its shining rays across the earth, he noted that it did not. Rather, an abrupt darkness closed the whole area in a flash, immersing the witness’ eyes in a field of absolute black. A fear swiftly barged into his heart with the absence of light. The unknown presented him with a feeling of indecisiveness. The uncertainty lingered heavily on him for a few seconds and then it was gone.

The uncertainty was replaced by what seemed like muffled yell RUN!. The voice spoke with the same tone as his thoughts, but yet he could tell it was definitely not the same. The voice’s only recognizable origin could have been the pain he had just undergone. A succeeding shout of forewarning rang in his head, bringing him out of the mesmerizing trance that had begun with the surprising arrival of ripe intelligence. In a more harried quality, it ordered RUN! SOMEONE’S COMING Giving in to the new commander, he quickly turned around and his feet sprang blindly off into the environment devoid of light.

The darkness was instantly destroyed by a colossal orange light that was so brilliantly incandescent his vision should have permanently failed him. The fireball engulfed a huge part of the forest as it rolled like a tidal wave out in all directions. When the field and the sky had been awakened by this bursting excess of fire, he was already at an unsure sprint, but the deathly noise had greatly inspired him to get the hell away as fast as he could. With the fire racing after him, he could feel the incinerating heat nearing. The hot air reached him and the tremendous force blew the boy forward. He tore through the air in an amazing arc, the impetus of the explosion saving him from its own roaring flames.

He was tossed forwards by the motion when striking the ground. Brushing off the split-second pain and the dirt, he lifted himself from the ground. Facing the disaster, he could see the clouds of smoke floating up from the point of impact and shifting lazily into the sky. A nagging thought in his head caused him to make a half-turn to flee. While making the turn he caught a glimpse of a figure silhouetted in an amount of smoke befitting the grand explosion.

The disguised body suddenly cut through the towers of smoke and emerged with the dirty air swirling behind him. The perplexed kid knew the autopilot of his mind was guiding him because he still wanted to be paralyzed in wonder and rooted to the spot where everything had just gone off. Instead, he was running, an action that was not in accordance of his own will. The recently acquainted part of his mind was instructing the boy of where to go, even though he was far away. What is going on? This feeling? Am I me? How do I. . . The questions grasped at his head; nothing clear, except for the autopilot, was going on in there. Everything was proceeding too fast to the point where the boy couldn’t even keep up with his own mind. It was like he was being dragged through an arena of war while he was in his own hazy place of imagination.

Shiny objects shaped like stars were now flying through the air, striking everywhere and bypassing the boy every time. The attacker behind him was pitching stars aimed at the retreating boy who was dodging them brilliantly without taking a single glance back. The two ran through the forest in a chase that was exhausting the boy, but the monster in his head wouldn’t permit him to stop. To the boy, it was a pain that he couldn’t halt, best described as a seduced desire.

Finally breaking through his unclear thoughts, the boy leaped through the barrier of mental enchantment and stole back control of his body. He took rest behind a tree, panting heavily. The being in his mind was arguing for him to keep going. Tossing these thoughts away, he concentrated on the situation at hand. The random stars had ceased streaking through the forest. The man landed from his last jump and the boy could sense him walking, a sign that the crunching leaves gave to him. His heart seemed to pound more often as the sound of the footsteps increased.

Damian could at last get a perception of the person slowly strolling up to him. He was cloaked completely in black garments, with only his eyes and mouth left uncovered. A belt of stars hung down from the middle of his body. The only distinguishable fact that could be made out were his eyes, which were as black as his clothes.

A voice shot his heart with a bullet of terror, “Why do you continue this foolish attempt at an escape? You should just give up now, there’s no chance.”

His world was morphing into a location that was unbelievingly new to him. The boy didn’t possess the necessary intelligence to respond but the demon in his head blurted out against the boy’s own fear,“Why are you after me?”

The first words he would ever speak came out of the boy’s mouth, showing no trace of fear. Unbelievably, the special boy had asked a question that would define the meaning of his life.

“A response, a daring move. I suppose I could offer an answer to your question, since you won’t be alive much longer. You are the Prophetic Intruder. The fate envisioned for you is undesirable to our kind and because of that I must dispose of you, Damian,” the figure answered in a voice that sounded confident with a hint of arrogance.

Upon hearing these words shock hit the boy once again. This whole meeting was confusing him and revealing so much to his mind which was remarkably collecting it all. It was the work of this new presence in his thoughts. Yet, at the same time he thought his mind would explode with all of this information. What? That’s my name? How does he know? Who is he? Damian felt lucky there was a tree seperating the thief’s view of his reaction. This is too much! I can’t handle this! Now, the terrible truths started opening the boy’s world. He realized he was probably going to die but he didn’t want to. Knowledge was awakening him into a world that had given Damian the first impression of it being a horrible place. Somehow, there was a burning motivation in the boy and he became greedy to find out more. He was going to run, and he was too dumb to possess as much fear as he should have had.

A dangerous remark blasted out of the boy who was gradually starting to become familiar with his surroundings,”If it’s my fate, doesn’t that mean I’ll live?”

“Fate doesn’t ensure you a free walk across the path! No more friendly chatter! It’s time to end this pathetic life of yours!” the man roared out as he once again chucked stars into the air, returning to his assigned task.

The stars hit the tree at the sides and many more were aimed perfectly at the tree, shredding the boy’s protective, natural shield.

“Then how do you know my fate will become a reality?”-a frantic bunch of words to hopefully change the thief’s mind.
“I’m making absolutely sure it doesn’t.”

Stars continued cutting at the trees sides. A small sense of safety that the boy felt from the tree was fading away as scraps of bark shattered off. The stars shot through the air like miniature rockets. He could barely glance the projectiles for they were unbelievably swift and accurate. Little tools of death that had a great laborer as their master. The boy was the next project the assassin wanted to complete.

The stars flung out in a row, all meeting the ground as the boy rolled out to the side. The will to live flourished inside the young boy. Immediately, the thief elevated himself above the ground, rebounding from tree to tree, almost flying. Having rolled to his feet and now running, the boy was dodging the ammo of stars trying to infiltrate him. The stars hit the trees, random areas on the ground, and some just launched off into the air, but none made contact with the intended target, although most were missing by just millimeters.

His breathing intensified. Stars seemed to float and glide through the air. Time, it was running out yet it was slowing down, as if waiting for him to catch up. His mind was plagued by the dark voice from before trying to gain ultimate control, like a battle raging in his head. There were an overwhelming amount of factors to consider and the boy was attempting to concentrate on only one and toss the rest away.

Outside, the ground was gradually beginning to slope downwards at a slight angle, increasing the speed of everything around him. Life was what made him fear, what dared the boy to run faster, and what inspired the boy keep propelling forwards.

Out of the blue, the thoughts in Damian’s head started whirling around. He felt extremely focused on nothing at all. His mind suddenly sparked with an uncanny feeling and a light sparkled, glowing around him. A blue circle of light pushed his distance farther, ripping through reality. The boy peered down in an unpleasant surprise as it seemed a silver and spinning item had just come tearing through his body. With relief, he recognized that no pain had been felt and that no mark was left on him. Blue light had somehow rescued him from a star that was supposed to have gone straight through his heart. Furthermore, another topic added itself to the list that he was mentally creating during the pursuit of spectacles.

The thief was becoming impatient, and the last star which he was so sure had just gone straight through the body had been dodged by the teleporting skill. The ninja seethed with anger. The boy, which possessed no skill compared to him, was not dead yet. As a result of the frustration, he began throwing stars with a touch of magic driving them. Unnatural forces pummeled the ground as the chase accelerated through the forest. A path of destruction wound a long way behind the two. Miniature explosions of light became apparent as the stars impacted the earth, still unable to touch the boy. Up ahead, came into sight something that would distract all that was going on.

What was that? the boy thought. A very off topic thought to be having at this moment, but somehow he was sprinting through the jungle, foiling the theif’s plan. Oh crap, here comes another choice. A boy who had become aware that there were two people racing towards him was frozen with shock, standing dumbfounded in the middle of the path they were blazing through. If he didn’t move, the stars would easily strike through him. Damian was undergoing a torment in his head as he drew closer to the person standing in the middle of the forest. DON’T STOP FOR HIM!. YOU CAN’T! HALT! A burning in his head was becoming infinetily worse as he came nearer to the boy, trapped there by shock and confusion. NOOO! The scream ignited a horrible pain and for a second a million sounds rang through his head.

He was just inches from the obstacle in the path. A choice was almost killing him, the noises splitting his head viciously and with no mercy. There were mere seconds to decide. Then, out of the cacophony, a simple thought arrived. “I choose. . .”

3 thoughts on “A Hero’s Struggle Ch. 1”

  1. Bloody hell, you are an exclamation mark fanatic! XD
    I’llr ead this blog later, only quickly came on :]

  2. Wow, leagues better than version 1.

    Ruining his plan of retrieving order, came another vehicle of pain colliding straight into the windshield of his mind. Following right after was another thunderbolt of pain afflicting his mind. Continuing on, there were many strikes of pain that infiltrated his mind. He immediately clutched his head and bent down in agony.

    I picked a certain paragraph that stuck out and rewrote it for some constructive citicism:

    Suddenly, another pang of agony jolted his mind, and he found himself collapsed on the ground. Shaking in a pool of sweat, another mental shock seared through his brain. He clutched his head in anguish, wishing the throbbing to cease. Another thunderbolt slammed into his mind. He shook violently on the ground.

    I dunno why I did that, I guess i felt like writing something lol. Good luck on chapter 2!

    -=The Nazgul=-

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