FF VII

Narr: Whoopie! It’s my first job here and…
Zhlon: And you’d better not screw this up, or we’ll be going down!
Narr: Right. Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night viewers, as we have another amazing intense Monster Interviews with your favourite host, Zhlon! And as a new Narrator…
Zhlon: Cut to the chase please…
Narr: Right… Today, we’re in a sub, trying to hunt the ever-so-elusive Sapphire Weapon, Master of the Seas!! read more

Narr: Zhlon has practically NO idea which monster to interview next. We appreciate it if you could help us by:
1) Suggesting a monster’s name.
2) State which FF the monster is from.
3) State where can you find the monster.

Zhlon: Hey, who said you could yap!
Narr: We’re off screen now, so any abuse done to me will be reported to higher authorities.
Zhlon: Wait till we get back screen…
Narr: Oh, how i love tormenting you like this…
Zhlon: You’re fired.
Narr: WHAT!!!!?????
Zhlon: Put up an ad in the Classified section for a new narrator. And we also need about 4 more monsters to interview. Who knows, you could be chosen. Or you, or you, or maybe even you! read more

Narr: Now that Zhlon has regained conciousness, we continue on our journey, and Zhlon has decided on the gigantic OMEGA WEAPON that’s headed for Midgar… WHY am I even bothering, Zhlon’s the one going…
Zhlon: You want a stab in your crotch?
Narr: T.T

Zhlon: Right, we landed and no.. HOLY SARDINES!!! ITS HUUUUUUGE!
Ultima: Rawr.
Zhlon: Ok, time to get down to …
Ultima: Rawr. *Squishes Zhlon with massive feet*
Zhlon: Then again, this could be tough… read more

Narr: So, we’re kicked out of Esthar, thanks to Zhlon for randomly fiddling the camouflauge machine…
Zhlon: Hey, it was cool, ok!!?? And you also pestered for a turn too, you lousy…
Narr: Lets stope that now. *Uh hum* Now our quest..
Zhlon: MY.
Narr: Fine… Zhlon’s quest continues as she searches for a vysage in the salt sea, hoping that Lefty and Righty will appear too.
Zhlon: Ok, lookout crew, look for a bandaged head, left or right arm. And gimme a signal when you see one…
Lookout crew member #1: There, i see one!
Lookout crew member #2: No you dungbrains! Thats just a giant skull!
Lookout crew member #1: My bad.
Zhlon: Quit babbling and start working!
Coffee crew member #1: Gee, Zhlon has been cranky ever since the last episode.
Coffee crew member #2: You’re right, maybe our super special Miracle Latte can help her!
Coffee crew member #1: Yea! Lets go prepare it! *zooms off*
Zhlon: Ahah! I spot one! Hi thingys!
Lefty: I’mma gonna slap her bad, can i boss?
Vysage: Go on, oh, and righty, back Lefty up.
Righty: You got it boss!
Zhlon: Hi, and… *bish* Owwie. *bish* Dang! *Firaga* Arrrrrrrghghghghhghghblahhahala!!!!
Vysage: Lol, ok intruder, gimme your gil and you live.
Zhlon: You slap me, I hit harder!!! *9999999*
Vysage: Damn, this human is unbeatable, guess ill have to call my friend.
Zhlon: Another Vysage?
Vysage: No, the Gargantuan!
Zhlon: Holy c**p! read more

Narr:Zhlon, somehow survived the Doink attack, now heads over to a nearby chocobo forest, where chocobos run free.

Zhlon: O.k, im here at the nearest chocobo forest i could find, and…
???: Hello, may i interest you in something?
Zhlon: No, i don’t want brownies.
???: Oh no, its not brownies. Are you trying to interview a Chocobo without getting killed like the previous 2 times?
Zhlon: Yea, so… Hey, how’d you know?
Chocobo boy: Im the chocobo boy, thats why!
Zhlon: O…..k……..
Chocobo boy: I could sell you this ChocoZinger and ChocoWhistle, which will allow you to track down and find tame chocobos in this forest!
Zhlon: Cool! How much?
C.B: Oh… Just a measly… 2 million gils.
Zhlon: No deal.
C.B: I’ll throw in a chocobo stuffed toy.
Zhlon: Deal. read more

Narr: Zhlon is now at Esthar, where technology is pumped to the next level.
Zhlon: Now we are walking blindlessly around the Esthar Prison, where monsters can randomly pop out of anywhere.Today we’re gonna look for a gesper, who are famous for dropping a black hole item!
Gesper: Meep.
Zhlon: Oh look, there’s one!
Gesper: Meep, Intruder, meep.
*Does 199 damage to Zhlon*
Zhlon: Lawl, hahaha, thats so weak!
*Mugs Gesper of Black Hole*
Zhlon: Ok, now that i got it, time to vamoose!
Gesper: Meep, gimme, meep.
Zhlon: Why?
Gesper: Meep, Degenorator, meep.
Zhlon: Oh, hell. read more

Im back after going through 2 weeks of school, geez, nvr thought i’d make it. In any ways, i need to ‘study’ for the future, so my lil bro will my taking over , just for now. Earlier on, i went on a gachapon spree, i got…
2 olympus,2 power lixer, a gold dragon,some other random quite useless stuff, and a …
Mushmum eraser.
What on earth was that?
Anyone knows? read more

Narrator: Now ,Zhlon has been revived, somehow, and is heading to the next dangerous monster to get an interview, the tonberries at Centra Ruins.Lets watch…

Zhlon: O.K, now that im revived, time to tackle more monsters!!! Lets start by running pointlessly around the map and see if we encounter any random battles.
*initiate random monster battle music*
Zhlon: Here’s one! Tell me , Tonberry sir, What do you do during your free time and stuff?
Tonberry: …
*Takes a step forward*
Narr: I think you should press the two shoulder buttons and run away like that little girly you are…
Zhlon: Death before dishonor!
Tonberry: Takes another step
Zhlon: This is gonna take a while, so we’ll go to the commercials… read more

Ok, now im on Cactuar Island( final fantasy 8), where it is heaven to cactuars and jumbo ones alike! Lets get the ball rolling~~

Zhlon: Kz, so Mr Cactuar no.1, what do you normally do here?
Cactuar 1: …
Zholn: …
Cactuar: *runs away*
Zhlon: O_O What!?!? WAIT~~~~~~~……

Zhlon: Ok, found me a 2nd target, lets get close up!!
* 1000 agonising needles later….*
Zhlon: Double owwie, ok thats the last one i guess, ok gonna find out last one! I spot one in the distant!!
*Runs to cactuar*
Zhlon: Its just a giant cactus, thats all!! DANG!!!What, that thing’s a monster? Jumbo cactuar? Nah can’t be…
*10000 painful, agonising needles later…*
Zhlon: Need… Phoenix… Down… read more

I MEAN IT!!!
LOOK AT THE PREVIOUS FEW BLOGS!!
wHY DO THEY EVEN BOTHER WASTING THEIR TIME TRYING TO CREATE THESE STRETCHY BLOGS LIKE THOSE?!?!
DURING THE TIME THOSE IDI0TS TOOK TO DO ALL THOSE, I LVL UP ANOTHER TIME!!
ARE YOU GUYS LAME, OR HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!!

Sry for all the caps, i am feeling very cranky today… geez…