Everybody wants their spouse to be of top quality marriageable material, for very practical reasons. Here’s a bachelor’s guide to finding the perfect girl with the qualities YOU want. Must she be reliant? Cashy? Able to hold her ground without calling you away from your precious training spot for help when KSed? This issue of How to Find shines the spotlight at Independent girls!
Our top journalists interviewed some guys, and these are some common views expressed:
“I broke off with my last girlfriend cos she wanted the power. 15 minutes into our relationship, she got KSed and expected me to go and help. She expected me to go, like I must go. I was at mong you know!” –EgoDK*
“I love my girlfriend. She’s very nice. But I don’t like it when she just wants to stick to me every second she’s online. I can’t even get my pixelated air space.” –B33fJerki3
It can be a nerve-racking experience when interrupted everytime you log on, bogged with duties like spending time with your Maple dearest and *Gasp* training her (even when you’re 115 and she’s 85). How to Find highlights some practical steps you can take to find the independent girl of your dreams.
Step One: Find a girl training solo.
When she’s soloing, it probably means she doesn’t usually train with her friends or guild. Therefore she most probably would not train with you either. It also makes it easier for you to approach her without people sniggering if you get rejected.
Watch her reaction when you appear at her map. If she starts looting everything, that marks insecurity. When she ignores you and continues training as per normal, there’s a self-assured girl for you.
Step Two: Start looting/KSing
Provoke her. Be mean, but not too mean till she writes you off the list. Note her reaction.
Some girls start shooting obscenities; that’s about your personal preference. Other girls call all their buddies, families and guilds to start KSing your legs off. In which case, it’s time to leave. That girl would most probably call you first for help when KSed.
If the girl expresses her displeasure but stays there and trains, ignoring you, or tries to KS you back, you’ve found a winner. It’s either she has no buddies online; she’s an inactive player; she’s a mature player who doesn’t like to depend on others for foolish KSing; she’s botting, or she’s planning to defame you with her 20 other characters. But it’s all good, right? She’s independent.
Step Three: Keep looting/Ksing
Test her endurance. The longer she goes on, the less chances of her running to you for help. Or, you running to help her. An important note: Don’t overdo it. The longer you KS, the less likely she is to forgive you.
Step Four: Break the Ice With a Compliment
Girls generally love compliments. Start by praising her determination, saying something manly like “Wa not bad eh. Like that still dun wan gib up.” You’ll generally get an F3, F7 or F5 response. Don’t give up, it’s a response and How to Find’s stand is that all responses from the other gender are positive. Keep pressing on with more compliments. When that girl’s deadly aura of displeasure has dissipated from your barrage of compliments, pop the crucial question: “Chio bu single bo?” (Translation: Pretty girl single anot?) If yes, go for it! You’ve got your very own independent girl.
Step Five: In Case Anything Goes Wrong
1. Logoff and stay off for half a month.
2. Send her loads of cash items.
3. Run and hibernate in a cave in El Nath, hiding from the defamers and stalk-and-KSers.
* Names are fictitious to retain privacy and prevent further KSing
** First remember to check her character profile if she’s married. If she’s THE girl and she’s taken, too bad.
*** How to Find takes no responsibility for any harm done to anybody as a result of acting upon this article, death threats included.