Reviving Lost Brothers- Part 1

A very long time ago there were two brothers. There names were Evan and Frankie. Evan was an archer and Frankie was a warrior. They were going to train their levels when they wandered iton the Pianus’s cave. Pianus was doing critical damage until somene came to help them it was a warrior with a DoomBringer. It took him out in a matter of 524 swipes with his massive DoomBringer to bring down Pianus. The two brothers were amazed they got 5 levels of experience points.
Now Evan was level 43 and Frankie was level 43 too. They asked the guy if he would train with them. He said, ” Sure, and my name is Billy and I also have an assistant named Liam an archer. So they went to go train on Zombie Mushrooms. Evan could take them out easily but Frankie had to take them out in 6 hits. Evan asked, ” Hey Liam and Billy what levels are u guys. They Replied,” 78 and 79.” Liam was level 78 and Billy was level 79. They finished training and went to buy new weapons. Frankie got a Zard, Evan got a MapleBow, Billy got a Redemption, and Liam got a GoldHinkelBow.
They were all walking until two Hermits came and killed Billy and Evan. The two Hermits quickly ran away with haste. Laying there on the floor bloody were Evan and Billy. Liam and Frankie checked their heartbeat……..nothing. Liam put his hand into a fist and squeezed it as hard as he could then screamed.”Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Thi-thi-this can’t be we have to drop them off a Priests Hospital.”said Liam. Frankie replied,” Yes, that sounds good but the nearest one is in SleepyWood village and we’re in Hennesees. ” We will have revenge on those two Hermits!” Liam said while squeezing his fist again. Frankie said,” We definetly will!!!!!!!!”

7 thoughts on “Reviving Lost Brothers- Part 1”

  1. This seems like it could evolve, but what it needs is a little more proper grammar, spelling, and make your paragraphs a little more noticeable.

  2. It’s too short. You barely have any descriptive words and I don’t see the plot at all. You should break down the events into smaller pieces instead making them shorter and putting it all into one.

    ~Welcome to MMOTales btw. Wait shortly for an greeting.

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