[Mipsacri, Bera, level 62 STR bandit]

My thoughts wander as I came across the new patch today, sighing at even the thought of Zakum. Still training in zombies, I knew very well that countless players would be rushing through my areas trying to get a glimpse of the fabled monster, Zakum.

And I was right.

The masses came. The small, the large, the very stupid. They all rushed through as though there was some sort of million meso prize at the bottom of the lair. As some passed, I asked why they were heading that way, even if they had large percentages to lose. Most just mentioned that it was fun. What exactly was fun about either dying before you even got there, or just getting a glimpse of such a beast?
It wasn’t even anything to write home about, I can understand going there if you had just leveled, but not with such a mass of experiance to lose. But still.. the mindless drones, they try again and again, passing by again and again, just to be killed. I actually saw a 3x use probably 3 or 4 teleport stones just to get through. But what was the point?

Since I had just leveled, I thought.. sure, why not? What could be the harm in fighting when I wouldn’t lose anything? Maybe I would find the point of this crazy adventure people were rushing into so carelessly.

So I began my journey, my quest to visit the Zakum and say weither all this fuss is really worth it. But, if you’re looking for something exciting and interesting, please read no further. If you wish to read my rather boring and monotone account, then continue.
Since I am bored and this should make the story slightly more interesting, I will continue this in story format.

‘As Mip traveled towards the infamous Zakum layer, her lip quivered ever so slightly in fear, inwardly cursing herself for passing up a free Z4 just to continue a useless suicide mission. ‘Was it really worth it?’ She pondered, carefully easing herself down the rope, her rather decrative gloves protecting her hands from slipping. But she had no choice, she had to continue into the darkness just to solve that single question.
She cringed as she slaughtered through many coolie zombies and those flying one-eye bats on her way down, it was really no wonder that this was called the Dead Mine. The path was getting darker, and it was getting harder to see. Mipsacri placed a hand above her eyes and squinted. What was up ahead? Nearly tripping on a rock in the darkness, she regained her footing. This was getting more nerve-racking by the moment! Placing her hand on the dank mine wall for balance, she paused for a moment to take a deep breath. “You can do this. Even though you’ll die, it’s for the sake of learning!” She thought outloud, pumping her fist into the air determinedly then forcing herself foward in a rather awkward marching fashion, gripping her glittering golden dagger so tightly, she felt the handle might snap.
A few minutes later, she came to the entrance of something similar to hell. The mines began to show cracks and holes leading into the vast firey burning pit of doom, and Mip backed up slightly from the edge of the cliff, gulping rather un-politely. Finally she forced up her courage and inched to the edge, looking down into what seemed like an endless drop. From where she stood, she could see no end, which quite frightened her. “I must! I must do this!” Mipsacri repeated to herself demandingly, backing up again still, her hands shaking nervously. “NOW!” She yelled, her voice echoing throughout the entire cave, running to the edge and bravely leaping off into what seemed to be certain death.
The fall seemed to last forever. Flying past Flyeyes, she fell and fell, pondering her fate in the darkness.. but then, it all stopped in a moment’s notice. Thanks to her ninja-skills and quick wits, she landed with little damage, in a crouching position, she stood up and dusted her armor off, letting out a sigh of relief. “It’s okay..” She whispered to remind herself, before leaping backwards into the air, knocking back a few monsters who had come to greet her.
Then she saw them. The massive, drooling beasts, growling and snarling at even her approach. “This isn’t going to be easy.” She mumbled as she jumped onto the nearest rope, a sly smirk grazing her freckled face. At this point, she didn’t worry about dying, since it was inevitable anyway, she just decided to have some fun. Leaping into the fray of monsters, she consistantly executed her signature attack, the ‘Savage Blow’, with ease. But they put up an amazing fight, and she was doing very little damage. Being consistantly blasted with fire that almost killed her in each shot wasn’t too easy either. At last, she killed one. “Now, only twelve more to go..” She chuckled as she clung to the rope for dear life, using one hand to adjust her ninja headband. “Let’s go.” She fought each monster to the death, almost dying many times, but eventually overpowering all thirteen. Standing on a now empty platform, sweat dripping from her brow from the work combined with the heat, she placed her hands on her hips proudly.
Before she could continue her victory though, more of them appeared, attacking her without so much as a pause. “Oh crap!” She waved her arms frantically, leaping onto the nearest rope, her heart racing now. “You may have won this battle.. but you have lost the war!” She said jokingly, shaking her fist at the mindless, barking beasts. Shrugging, she remembered she had come all this way just to see Zakum, so she decided to continue that way.
Once she came upon the next area, she knew she had to avoid the brown and white beasts. They could easily kill her in one shot. Scratching her head, she figured out how she would be able to do this. “Hmm.. ah! I have a plan.” She chuckled, snapping her fingers. A skill she had learned from her old fabled trainer, she dissappeared into the shadows, carefully avoiding each and every monster. But sliding off the edge, she fell into the lava, and quickly had to reappear from the shadows, or else she’d die quite quickly. “Hot hot hot!” She spat, curses spewing from her lips as she sped her way through the bubbling hot liquid and climbing out of the other side, quickly turning invisible again before the dumb monsters could kill her.
Finally, she came to the infamous Zakum’s lair, anxious to see what awaited her. She was dirty, burnt, tired and beaten, but she had made it. Grinning, she inched towards the door, trying to hop in without a hitch. But Adobis, the keeper there, stopped her, his long wooden staff tapping her shoulder slightly. He smiled absolutely normally and said, “You need a full party and to be able to pass three quests before you can even see Zakum.” She blinked for a few moments, in simple disbelief. ‘How was this possible?! Why didn’t they label this BEFORE I ran down here?’ She thought frantically, thinking of all the mesos she had spent just to get here. However, Adobis, the rather drone-type non-player charater simply repeated his previous words. She burst out into anger, her hands clenched into fists, yelling rants at this helpless NPC for quite sometime. But it didn’t bother him in the least. “That is IT!” Mip yelled, turning around and stomping a few feet away. “Come again soon!” Adobis smiled, waving after her. “Bah, humbug!” She snapped, whirling around and chucking a squishy liquid at his head, it landing firmly upside his odd looking turban. “Take that!” She grinned, dissappearing in a puff of smoke, never to return again.’

Unagi? 90,000 mesos. Experiance lost? 1.11% Anger when you find out that Zakum is a Party-Only deal? Absolutely Priceless.
NPCs, they’re everywhere you want (and don’t want) to be.

~Mip

(P.S: MaskOfSmak pwns you.)