“In my HHG?”
It’s more likely than you think.

So I logged on to MS this evening, nice and refreshed from my daily nap. And ready to do some LMPQing, since the small supply of mesars I had stashed on my mule was beginning to deplete more rapidly than I had expected. Except I wasn’t in Ludi, I was in Henesys. Why, I had no idea, because if I knew that then I wouldn’t be there.

But then as I took the cab to Ellinia and began the long, arduous walk up to… that place at the top of Ellinia where you can buy a ticket and go to Orbis… I realized I didn’t really feel like LMPQing after all.

I mean, I’d have to take, like, two boats to get to Ludi. And whenever I try to take a boat, I end up missing it by less than a second. And then when I go AFK to pass the time until the next ship arrives, I come back to that lovely “This ship is getting ready for takeoff. Better luck next time, loser.” message that I know practically by heart.

SO,

I decided to take a day off from leveling and do quests and stuff. Like, the level 10-20 quests I should’ve done aaaaages ago. Seriously, I start lagging as soon as I open my ‘quests in progress’ list, which also includes a bunch of Maple Island quests that I’ll never be able to get rid of. sdjhsdjkg.

So, my first stop? Maya’s House, for the Weird Medicine quest. I walked to Henesys, since I didn’t have enough money on hand to take the cab again. (i r poor, meso plz?)

Upon walking through the portal on the left of the map right before town, I was faced with the most ungodly lag ever. You know the kind. The kind of lag where the people standing next to the portal you’re going through notice how you’ve been hovering there for five minutes and start going “LOL LAG@@” and poking you. Which really doesn’t help. Thennn I realized I was in channel 1. Channel 1, and in Henesys.

Slow internet + low levels drenched in NX, lagging it up on the east side of Henesys with their annoying rainbows and crush rings and friendship rings and other assorted sparkly crap = not good.

Eventually the lag went away and I landed on the ground, and I had about three people F6ing at me: “u lag lol.”

Thanks, guys. I would’ve never figured that out.

Then a bunch of fireworks with the message: “ILY [insertname] <33333” appeared and I changed channels hastily, before the lag monster could come out of hiding again.

After a bunch of running around Victoria to various NPCs, Sophia (the girl in the Perion potion shop with her hand glued to her face) told me to get 50 squishy liquids, 20 octopus legs, and some other stuff that I don’t remember. Well, I had most of that, all I needed was the squishy liquids and Arcon’s blood. Figured I’d go to the slime tree and get the liquids first.

So I walked. And I walked. And I walked. Getting around Vic without being able to use the taxi is no easy task, I tell you. It took several days (read: minutes) of climbing, falling, and valiantly slaying countless stumps and mushrooms before I FINALLY arrived in Ellinia, land of the… mage-y people. I checked my buddy list quickly to see if there was anyone online for me to announce my victory to. Well, there was some random dude I didn’t even know (I have a lot of those on my BL, for whatever reason), and Frog.

So then I was like: “HAI FROG LOL@@@.”

Upon pressing the ‘map’ button on my buddy list, I discovered that he was in HHG. There were slimes there, right? And suddenly, the most brilliant idea occurred to me – I could stalk him, and get my squishy liquids… AT THE SAME TIME.

OMB SKILLZ.

…I’ll skip the walking bit this time. >_>

As I arrived at HHG, I walked around and killed snails for a good thirty seconds before I remembered why I was there. Squishy liquids, stalk Frog. And sure enough there he was, sitting on that thing next to the bales of hay on the right side of the map – AFK. So I did the obvious logical thing to do in such a situation: sit in my chair and F1 at him for about twenty minutes. Some mage chick with blue hair walked up and joined in. I put my stapler on the F1 key and went AFK to make myself a sandwich.

She was still F1ing when I came back. She gave up eventually, lawl.

i r winrar. winrar is i.

After another minute or so, dear Froggy came back from AFK-ness, and we had a very intellectual conversation about quantum physics. He went AFK again, so I walked around the map and shared my theories with others (read: came up to random people and began molesting them). It was interesting, to say the least. Anywho, eventually he logged off. ):

So I went to channel 1 and told people I was selling haste for 5k. But nobody would buy it. So I decided it was time to unleash my ULTIMATE KSing weapon – a clean Pig Illustrated. Within seconds, I had hundreds of nubs bowing at my feet, declaring me their god and telling me how awesome I was.

“omg aethne u so awsum teech me ur seekrits of awsumness pls”

And then somehow, this happened.

more
pictures
lol@@@@

A suicide… party. It started when I saw this dead guy, then killed myself, and got about 10 people to kill themselves in order to join us – including a level 104 hermit. It was fun watching passersby F6 at us.
I kept reviving, though. And being a dexless sin with eleventy billion avoidability, you can imagine how hard it was for me to die again. >_> Then I D/Ced, so I didn’t get to see how long the party lasted. But it made for some nice SS-age.

And I never did finish that quest. GG, me.

FIN.
~ Kitsch

PS: mesars plz.