JokeMaster – One Liners I

When I post jokes, it’ll be titled JokeMaster – [Type of Joke] [Blog Number]

I couldn’t think of anything else, so hush. >.>

One Liners

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should have been more specific.

It’s a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

The best part about computers is that they make very fast, accurate mistakes.

The real reason why Santa is so jolly is because he knows where the naughty girls live.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

Sometimes I think I understand everything – then I regain conciousness.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

I said no to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

What do the letters DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics’ Association.

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam.

Probably all of these are in the “[A Prairie Home Companion] Pretty Good Joke Book (3rd edition)” or the 4th edition.

I woulda made this One Liners / Puns, or made it longer, but I didn’t have enough time =/

I’ll try to type up another after I finish my homework >.>

15 thoughts on “JokeMaster – One Liners I”

  1. lol alot of these were funny.
    but one of them coughsantaonecough will probably get this blog deleted

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