A bit late….but it’s here nontheless! See? I told you I’d get it done.

WARNING: It is a bit…uh…how do I say…vulgar in the beginning. But that’s only the beginning. Because in the next chapter, a meter comes and falls and- Oh sh*t.

Er….I didn’t say anything..

It was a bright and sunny day. The weather was perfect and the breeze felt fine. Potato woke up and yawned.

“Yay! Tomorrow’s the first day of school! I’m so excited! I lub school! This’ll be my last day living at home. Starting tomorrow, I’ll get to live at college! THIS IS SO EXCITING! I liek nuts.” (Yes, a 15 year old at college. I know what I’m doing.)

Potato brushed his tato teeth, changed his tato clothes, and bounded downstairs for breakfast. His mother was busy cooking up breakfast. Potato sat down at the table and poured himself a glass of …”white stuff” (*SNICKER* HAHAHAHA!).

“Oh, hello son. Aren’t you excited? Today’s the orientation. You get to find out who you’ll be rooming with, what your classes are and get to know people,” asked Mom.

“YEAH! Like TOTALLY! Fo’ SHIZZLE!” exclaimed Potato excitedly.

His Mom dropped her spatula, and turned to look at Potato, eyes as wide as a plate. “WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOUNG VEGGIE!?” asked his mother menacingly.

“Er..uh…nothing.” replied Potato. “I’m not hungry. I’m too excited. Later, Mom.” stammered Potato as he formulated an excuse to leave.

“But honey-“, started his mom before being cut off.

“I’M A FUGGING POTATO GODDAMNIT! I’M NOT SOME SWEET PIECE OF SHIZ!” shouted Potato angrily.

“WHAT THE FUGG DID YOU JUST SAY!?” yelled Mom back.

“I SAID I LIEK NUTS!”

Potato, not wanting to argue, just hurried out the door with Mom shouting angrily.

“Just you wait, when you come back home, I’M GOING TO FUGGING MASH YOU! YOU’LL BE JUST LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER! A PILE OF MASHED PIECE OF CRAP!”

Glad that the worst was over, Potato casually strolled over to his new college, or his new home actually. The University of Raunchy and Big Odd Oily B*tches, or U.R.B.O.O.B.

As he stepped in the front gate of his new school, he noticed that…all the students were wearing explicit clothing. Bikinis to be exact. In fact, every single one was female.

Hmm..is this an all female school? Did they think I’m a female? Ugh, like, I am like, totally not a female. Like that’s like totally uncool. Like totally.

Potato walked into the library, where the orientation was held. He grabbed a sheet of paper handed to him by a girl wearing a string around her chest and two pieces of paper stuck together around her lower body.

These people sure are creative.

Potato looked around for anybody he knew, and fortunately, he saw Yuu Darracc surrounded by twelve girls.

“Hey Yuu. Like being a pimp?” asked Potato as the girls fled seeing his starchy skin.

“Man, I LOVE U.R.B.O.O.B.! U.R.B.O.O.B. FUGGING ROCKS!” exclaimed Yuu.

“Um….okay. They’re pretty small though…nothing amazing,” replied Potato checking his chest.

“No way! U.R.B.O.O.B. is humongous!” said Yuu.

“Um…okay. That’s reassuring.” replied Potato. “Anyways, what classes do you have?”

Yuu throws a piece of paper at Potato, cutting Potato’s arm. While Potato screams in agony, Yuu listed his classes.

“I have ‘Sleeping with Ho4rs’ for 1st period. Then ‘Swimming with Ho4rs’ for 2nd, ‘Eating with Ho4rs’ for 3rd, Playing with Ho4rs’ for 4th, ‘Hugging with Ho4rs’ for 5th, ‘Kissing with Ho4rs’ for 6th, and ‘Loving with Ho4rs’ for 7th.”

Potato just stared at Yuu’s paper in disbelief.

“But…how come my classes are completely different?” asked Potato showing Yuu a piece of paper that read:

Period 0 – AP Physics C
Period 1 – AP Statistics
Period 2 – AP U.S. History
Period 3 – AP English Literature
Period 4 – AP Computer Science AB
Period 5 – AP Physical Education
Period 6 – AP Addition and Subtraction

Yuu looked at Potato’s classes and just laughed. “AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Loser. Get away from me you nerd!”

“B-B-But I thought you were my friend?” stammered Potato.
“No, I just wanted some free food. Your mom is a good cook,” explained Yuu as he walked away with 83485439583 more girls.

Potato collapsed on the floor and yelled, “NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! Wait a minute. I’m not a gullible 13 year old. Only gullible 13 year olds say that. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

SUDDENLY! The entrance of the door burst open and in came the………………………….the……………………the……………………the…………………………
the………………..the…………………..the………………..the-

TO BE CONTINUED!

lol. Epic phail. I don’t think I did too well on this… I should tone it down a bit… :/ Don’t make fun of my weak skittles. >O.

Slimes. Mushmom. Magic Claw. Maple Lama Staff. Ellinia. Hunter.