Prologue of another story that i’m writing.
“Joey, run!” My mom’s voice echoed through the cold night, as their farm was set ablaze. Flames surrounded the countryside. I ran as hard as I could towards the trees, but there was an invisible barrier holding me back. Everywhere I looked, there were flames. Dark shadows appeared everywhere, and the barnyard exploded with the force of a nuke. Cold air blew against my cheeks, and that night I thought I was going to die. I had no idea what had happened, until a sword whistled and landed in a tree next to me, and it stood there quivering. A shadowy figure appeared before me, and he prepared to utter a spell. A bolt of brilliant light shot me into the sky, and it was as if the sun exploded. I didn’t know why, but someone was after me. The shadowy figure leaped next to me and drew a long dagger, and when just when I knew i was going to die, a fiery arrow exploded next to me, knocking the figure back.
I woke up on a hill I had never seen before. I looked far and wide for the farm, and I found it within 10 minutes. I ran into the barnyard, and I looked for my mom, but I never found her. I drew my sword and pledged to kill whoever was here last night.
This is kinda better than the other . Just make it longer .
not bad, just make it longer and pump it full of details
Vely short. I suggest you make it longer next time.
[♠]