Aurida… is Lv. 77! Level 16 Holy Symbol? Ownage. 132% EXP plus a skill graphic that basically acts as a beacon to be partied.
As soon as I levelled up at Zombies, three separate people each came into my map and asked to be partied. A Fighter, a Bandit, and another Cleric. (The Cleric was especially annoying.)
One more level, and I get that sweet, sweet Enigmatic.
Of course, the challenge is to do it before my NX Cash stuff runs out. How much time left? Two days.
…Fum.
This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but my Dad has recently resurrected the ‘equal time lol’ system. All my siblings, and me, have a single hour on the computer during non-school days, and a half-hour on school days, in a set rotation.
The bad thing? They use it. I’m actually starting to consider putting silica gel in their macaroni and cheese (especially my 10 year old sister, who will get on the computer and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING just so I can’t get on.)
People at lower levels, or in nicer servers, may not understand how this is a problem. At least I still get time, right?
Uh, no. One word: Zombies.
A half-hour is barely enough time to find an Assassin or Bandit willing to share a map with me. (No other class has Haste, which causes them to give me barely more EXP than if I was soloing.)
An hour, I can find a map and usually get about 5% before I’m kicked off by one of the Useless McStupids.
This is perpetually DOUBLED by the fact that I’m at my Mom’s house every other week, and signing on Aurida there is basically like signing my own death warrant.
So, basing the fact that at maximum, I get 10% a week (both days on weekends. I usually get two turns per day)
every other week, it’ll take me… four months to level. (I have 22% now.)
[Insert profanity here.]
Ah ha! You bleeped me out. Well, I’ll get you. Watch this, I can totally sneak one by.
[profanity][censored][children use this forum][(but probably shouldn’t)][random beeping noises][just lost the game] H[lol you suck][denied!][Chuck Norris.][Are you still trying?][-autopilot-][Forty-two!][blarn]
Ugh. Stupid curse filter.
This has left me with only one course of action. To level, I must wake up at insane times in the morning.
Ah, crap! My stepmom’s a nurse, works the near-graveyard shift, and is an insanely light sleeper!
Either I have to admit defeat, or find a way to defeat all of them. Maybe I’ll just get all their various accounts on various stupid Internet games deleted. I can do it. I have the technology. read more

I was thinking about Maple the week I was gone, and…
…What?
Don’t give me that look, you’d do it too.
…Anyway.
I wandered to the topic of what Tek would be doing in the future. Hitting level 30, making the job advancement, getting Power Gua-
…Wait. The job advancement.
Holy flerkinschmidt, Tek has to kill things! Oh dear! OK, OK… What to do? read more

Aurida has recieved his second dose of Master Death Teddy partying.
This was with the same DK as earlier, but since he’s Lv. 82 while I am but Lv. 76, it was… oddly inbalanced. Oh
well.
It’s still decent… let’s take a listen at earlier.

“Whee!!,” Aurida screams. “I’m INVINCIBLE!!!”
-Aurida dies-
“I’m still invincible! I didn’t lose anything I didn’t come here to get! WOOOOO!” read more

…OK, so not really. But that IS a Tek Jansen-related quote, so it still counts as my source material.
Yeah, it’s my presentation of Stephen Colbert’s Tek Jansen, a new Tek Jansen adventure! -theme song starts playing-
Tek, of course, is still getting absolutely no playing time due to the fact that his attack range is… uh, 4 to 40. At level 15, you’d expect more from a Warrior, but heck! At level 40 or so he’ll be partying with Priests, so it works out in the end.
Aurida: “Hey, I’m a Priest!”
Yes, but you, my friend, cannot be on at the same time as Tek. Thusly, you fail.
Aurida: “Flerkinschmidt.”
Rodin: -cries himself to sleep in a corner-
Yeah, though. Tek hit Lv. 15, which means he’s now a full-fledged HP Warrior! In one of those before-and-after pictures you always see in the plastic surgery commercials, (coincidentally, most of them get the Before and After signs mixed up. Scam artists) you should now view pictures 1 and 2.
Notice Tek’s lack of a guild. Yeah, I’m fine with this happening, seeing as Aurida’s on the guild master’s buddy list anyway.
Yeah, like the typical idiot I am, I messed up and put two points into STR. Oh well, it’s only 100 HP anyway. I guess it’s true- what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! Not that he’ll use it… read more

…OK, so not really. Fans of the immortal Stephen Colbert (I am a proud member of the Colbert Nation) should recognize the nameplate of…
…
…My new HP Warrior!! Rah rah rah!

Technically, he’s not an actual HP Warrior… not yet. You’ll notice that his HP is still crappy– for a warrior. Poor Aurida only slightly has double that, and he almost has seven times as many levels. Bleh.
Speaking of which, he’s even closer to that since he hit Lv. 76 early yesterday morning. Woot!
…Oh, wait, no. No one cares. Hehe. read more

The oversized door hung in front of them, seeming to possess a life of its own. As the five warriors in front of it formed a bind (known as a ‘party,’ Aurida explained) it seemed to withdraw a little from the power in front of it.
They entered. First, Rodin, who was chosen as the leader of the party. “A Mageknight from the other world, sir,” a silent voice whispered to a sleeping force. “Two mages that hold the power of holy magic… Such a master of physical prowess that he uses his body as his own weapon… And an Assassin. Nothing much to say about him, really…”
“Excellent. You have done well. And now that we are armed with knowledge, we shall take the fight to them.”
“Did you hear something?” asked Rodin of the others.
“No, not at all,” said Aurida. “I do so hope you’re not feigning insanity to get out of this.”
“Of course not. Let’s just get started.”
Aurida and Brandy both cast Bless on the party, with Invincible and Magic Guard on themselves.
Random uses his powers to cast Haste, a sort of pseudo-Rage, and a different form of Booster. He punched the air in front of him, causing shockwaves to emanate from the area. “Excellent.”
Grabbersit readied Claw Booster.
Rodin wheeled his sword around in a circle to cast a very… unorthodox spell. He modified the bond between them as to recieve half of all the damage taken by anyone.
“What was that, Rodin?!” Brandy asked, rather accusingly. “I recognize that from somewhere! You’re not going to take the pain for all five of us!”
“Hey, don’t be so worried. You and Aurida both need this.”
“No… we have Magic Guard. That’ll let our magic reserves take the damage for us.”
“And I,” chimed in Random, “came up with a technique that lets me reflect physical force.”
“But what if he uses magical offense, Random? Come on… let’s just come up with a plan.”
“Hm.”
The plan was that Rodin and Random would both attack as necessary on the front lines, Grabbersit and Aurida would launch attacks from the back, and Brandy would heal any injuries anyone received.
Now that everything was ready, Aurida walked slowly up and withdrew the sacrifice from his satchel.
He slammed the glittering jewel onto a pedestal, and ran towards the others.
“Showtime,” thought a hidden voice to itself.
And Zakum rushed up from the ground, like a god ready and willing to punish all that stood in its way. A torrent of the most vile curse words in the world issued from its mouth, but thankfully its insults were in an ancient tongue which no one in the party could understand.
What they did understand, however, was that this was more than they’d prepared for. A colossal rock beast with eight arms was far different than what Rodin was imagining.
“Well?!” Rodin yelled. “Let’s have some fun!” He leapt up and came down with a powerful slash, attacking the main body. It bounced off harmlessly.
Wh-what?!, Rodin thought. I can’t hurt it?!
As if to answer his question, one of the arms came around and threw him into the air with a powerful punch. He landed in a running position and took off, hoping to hurt the arm that has smacked him. He felt the warm glow of Heal around him as he dashed and used his signature attack.
His first attack cut through a portion of the arm, searing it with heat. His second slash froze at the touch and slammed through the stone- and his third attack electrified the arm. Cracks ran through it as Rodin delivered his final blow- his sword charged with Holy force, he lunged it into the arm.
The arm shattered and broke off. He looked back at everyone just for a second to see how they were doing– just in time to see a large icicle jut up from the ground and impale Aurida. He felt the same sharp jab in his chest and bent over in pain. Another arm whacked him to the side.
He felt Heal clothing him in its warmth, and the wounds he’d recieve seal up. “I’m invincible!,” he screamed as he lunged towards Zakum again.
He took off the other physically attacking arm with another Tritoch Buster attack. He looked back once more to see the others adroitly dodging the magic Zakum was sending.
Let’s see, Rodin thought as he attacked another arm. The two he’d broken physically attacked… there was one for ice and lightning, one for fire and poison, two that drained physical and magical stamina, and two that inflicted status effects. There were two Priests that could Dispel status effects and heal the magical damage, so he chose to attack the draining arms first.
He leapt up, and got on top of one before receiving the physical pain associated with scorching fire engulfing someone. He was barely able to jam his sword into the hand as it came up to smack him– and yet he managed to do it, forcing the arm to dissolve into nothingness.
The other Draining arm grabbed him.
“No!!,” he screamed as it sucked out his life force, channeling it into healing energy for its own needs. Once done, the arm tossed Rodin at Random, causing a collision. The pain from the draining, the hurt from him colliding with Random, and half of Random’s injury from being hit by Rodin caused him to black out.
He came to a few minutes later, fully healed through Brandy’s rapid casting of her spell. Aurida and Grabbersit had knocked out the draining arm, along with causing cracks in the fire and poison-casting arm.
Rodin got to his feet and rushed the injured arm, and one attack caused it to fall to pieces. He went after the ice and lightning arm in the same fashion that he’d attacked the first Drain arm– he got on top and waited to strike.
The plan didn’t go well. Rodin first noticed this when a spell froze him inside a block of ice, which was then struck by a thunderbolt. Rodin fell once more, got healed, and got back up.
Slashing at the spell-flinging stone appendage, he was shocked at what he saw below. The two arms that were casting status effects were doing rapid movements with the hands. “It’s a — tandem spell!! Look out!” He struck blows at the arm he was on all the faster because of what was going on.
The arm crumbled beneath him just as he saw a gigantic laser erupt into the sky from in front of him.
What’s it aiming at?, Rodin wondered as the beam streamed into the sky of the cavern.
He began to hack at the remaining arm… since he had no magic power now, he could no longer use his Tritoch Buster and could but watch at what was now happening.
He drove his sword down into the rock. That didn’t fully kill it, so Rodin utilized something he’d learned. He made his sword vibrate and watched as many-colored spotlights shone from the ceiling of the cavern, forming a white circle of light at Brandy’s feet.
“Look out, Brandy!!,” he yelled, but it was too late. A final white beam came down on top of her, causing a massive amount of rubble and dust to fly from the ground and obscure Rodin’s vision.
The arm broke from beneath him, sending him plummeting to the ground. Random broke the opposing arm with a final hit, and he moved on to the main body. Rodin looked on in worry towards where Brandy was, but Aurida was already there, casting Dispel rapidly out of frustration. Rodin couldn’t see Brandy anywhere.
He attacked the main body easily. One heavy thrust of the sword sent cracks through the monster. Rodin withdrew his blade from the monster and struck again, almost shattering Zakum’s main body.
Grabbersit had been looking on, amazed for most of this time. He couldn’t attack because one of the stars might strike either Rodin or Random, but… this MUST be the best battle ever.
Rodin drove his feet into the ground and yanked on his sword. It was quite stuck.
Zakum issued a broken-sounding laugh, and then in all seriousness uttered words which reverberated on the walls of the cavern.
Rodin was knocked back to where Grabbersit was– before he got slammed into the wall behind him. Aurida flew past, seen pulling a bottle out of his satchel and downing it within a fraction of a second. He cast Heal, curing the three of them, and then ran over to Random.
Rodin spotted his sword on the ground- blown out by the force of that magic attack. He ran over to grab it, but a flying creature snatched it first. It looks like Zakum, Rodin thought before latching onto it.
“You will not live!,” Rodin yelled as he withdrew another sword and banished the summoned beast with a single attack. He grabbed his other sword and landed in a kneeling position.
He turned slowly, making sure of his footing…
and his eyes met Zakum’s. Time seemed to slow as he ran towards his foe with swords in both of his hands… he reached it and slammed both into the rock beast, causing it to crumble instantly.
He rested for a moment before exclaiming his joy.
“It is done!!” read more

“Excellent,” Aurida said with a look in his eyes that can only be described as demonic. Drumming his fingers against his staff, he appeared calm and collected. “But there is one thing. Rodin, what are you here for?”
“I came to find a Priest,” Rodin replied. He was going to avoid the inevitable bombardment of questions as well as he could.
“And why did you need a Priest?”
Dang. That wasn’t very good avoidance, Rodin thought. As he struggled to find a way out of this, he found himself speaking the words he knew he shouldn’t have…
“Because Terra was transformed by an old woman in the cave you teleported us to.”
“You’ve allied with Terra, now?!” Aurida obviously took offense at that, and nocked an arrow of holy energy against a bow. His Holy Arrow aimed at Rodin’s head, he said only one word. “Explain.”
Because, Rodin thought, people who can supply that sort of firepower don’t need to supply subjects as well.
Flustered, he spat out what sounded reasonable. “No! She saved me while we were walking out of there! I just feel like I have to… repay that… and why are you two such mortal enemies, anyway?!”
Aurida went out of his way to draw attention to the Holy Arrow he had ready. “I’m asking the questions here.”
“Typical,” Brandy interrupted. “Look, as far as I’m concerned, he’s telling the truth.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not concerned then,” retorted Aurida. He turned back to Rodin while putting his Holy Arrow away. “It’s a long story, but you’ve got time to hear it.”
“…Grrahh… Is there any chance I could get out of this?,” Random groaned.
“Not if you value your life. Anyway, to start…”
He went on to tell a tale that was quite obviously blown out of proportion. The story confirmed what he had said to Rodin earlier- he was indeed the High Priest of that city. He had recieved the title out of respect from the city’s king as to his power over Holy magic… but his power, he revealed, hadn’t come from social status. He was channeling power from a source unknown to that world… the crystals of power over here in Maple world.
He had come across a rift between the world Rodin knew and Maple world while experimenting with extremely dangerous magic.
“Wait, wait.” Rodin crossed his arms and hastened to disbelieve what he’d heard. “Are you actually saying that this is some sort of other dimension?”
“Not as such. It’s more like… two parts of the same thing. I don’t know why the world we know and the world known as Maple world were split… but they are. They are essentially the same world.”
“Not a different country.”
“No. But to continue…”
Terra was, apparently, an emissary from a force designed to prevent exploitation of this other world. Seeing as they were two parts of the same world, upsetting the balance could prove fatal to both. Terra went to stop him, and they did battle with the entire city as their witness. But Aurida’s drawing strength from the other world opened up in one climactic blow, which annihilated the population of the city…
“And Terra merely was sent to the other world. She left me alone for awhile before she figured out how to travel between the two… and then came at me almost daily. My only choice was to continually warp her away…”
“So… how long was this going on?,” asked Rodin.
“Not very long. She’d only been coming at me like that for about two weeks… I thought I would find someone to help me… and also help me make things right.”
“And why are you at Zakum?”
“He is holding a major source of power here in the Maple world. By defeating him, we can release it and be one step closer to restoring the balance between the worlds.”
“That’s what you want.”
“Yes.”
“And now,” Rodin inquired of Brandy, “What do you want from Zakum Claus?”
“What?,” she replied in a confused tone.
“I don’t know. Things were just getting too serious… and confusing.”
“Things are getting serious for a reason, Rodin. If what he’s saying is true, we need to right the balance of mana between the worlds. That is, before they’re destroyed.” Brandy accosted Rodin with fierce desiciveness.
She had a point.
Rodin turned to Random, but he was asleep. He’d been nodding off for some time during Aurida’s exposition.
He turned back to Brandy, shifting uncomfortably. “What are you here for?”
“We’re here for a powerful weapon known as a Magicodar. We’ve heard Zakum was in possession of a few.”
“Ah. Just for the spoils of battle, then.”
“When you say it that way, it makes it seem so simplistic.”
“Well. We all have good reasons for fighting this monstrocity… should we get to it?” read more

“So, yeah, that’s pretty much it,” Rodin concluded.
“But… there’s another world down here that we’re not even aware of?,” Brandy inquired. It was obvious that both she and Random were doubting his story.
“Like I said. The Priest I was telling you about sent me over here. When I saw El Nath for the first time… well, that was something only rumored about back where I come from.”
“Well, nothing’s been said about what you’ve described. But I’ve seen you fight, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever beheld… a combination of swordplay and magical prowess that can only be defined as-“
“Ah,” Random interrupted. “Put a cork in it. We’ve reached our destination.”
“Hmph! Well, now we can get to it. What do we have to do.”
“Obviously we go through that door.”
The three walked towards the large gate, carved with images of the being they were about to challenge. Rodin held his sword cautiously at his side, preparing for the worst. Yet when they reached the gate…
“Stop!,” boomed a voice. “You have not the sacrifice needed to enter the Shrine of Zakum.”
“Sacrifice,” said Rodin. It wasn’t as much an inquiry as it was a statement. “We need a sacrifice to enter?”
“Yes. The Zakum cannot be summoned without the Eye of Fire. I can make an Eye of Fire for you…”
An old man stepped out from behind a stalagmite. Seeing as these were caves filled with molten magma, his choice of clothing was rather odd- full-blown robes and a head-wrap.
“Oh, joy,” Rodin said, staring at him. “And what would you need us to do to get it?”
“Well,” the man replied, “First you need to navigate an obstacle course of a mine that involves breaking countless boxes open in order to find keys to open an even larger box from which you get the ore. Then you need to make numerous jumps over a river of lava while avoiding stone faces that spit flaming rocks and poison gases… and also the falling rocks… and then you harvest gold teeth from the Zombies.”
“And then you make us an Eye of Fire.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I have some gold ores right here…” said Brandy.
“NO! NO SACRIFICE FOR YOU!… Er…” The strange man looked around nervously. “There’s a special component in the Zombie teeth that is necessary for the-“
There was an uncomfortable pause. Rodin, Brandy, and Random (who was on the fringe of knocking the man’s face off out of rage) waited for him to continue.
He didn’t. What he did do, however, is fall to the ground with several throwing knives in his back.
“What the…?!” Rodin gasped. He frantically searched the cave before finding the cause of the attack.
A Priest and an Assassin were walking slowly towards them. Rodin knew them.
“Aurida! Grab-” He paused to scoff at the name under his breath. It’s hard to say it with a straight face, Rodin thought. “Grabbersit! What the heck are you doing?!”
“Those are the guys you were talking about?,” Random asked hastily.
Considering the poor footing and confined area of the cave, Rodin hesitated before answering. “Yeah. But don’t make the first move.”
“What?! He was willing to sacrifice you, his only ally, to relieve himself of an enemy! How will he treat you now that you are one?”
“Obviously well. If he didn’t mean well, those first knives would probably be in us. You’re forgetting that he could turn us all into statues if he wanted to.”
“Ah… Good point.”
They approached with infinite calm. Come on, Rodin thought. You can make an entrance, we get it.
“Rodin,” said Aurida in his holier-than-thou diction. “We … seek your help with this.”
That shocked him for a minute. Aurida… needs my help? Why should I…
“Because,” Aurida turned and said. “I gathered the sacrificial item from the market. Seeing as your only other method of getting it is now disposed of, I am now your only route into Zakum. However…” Aurida paused for effect. Rodin reconsidered his footing and laid his hand on the hilt of his sword, his sweaty palm itching pre-emptively. “We cannot take Zakum on alone.”
Rodin considered this. “Then why did you come up here?”
“I knew you would be here. And I knew you would help in exchange for a most valuable reward… your precious sister.”
“Aurida. If you’re asking for my help, be sincere about it in the future.”
“Rodin, just because our desires temporarily align does not mean I want to ask you for your assistance. Believe it or not, I bear no ill will towards you.”
“And the constant threats reflect that. Now…” Rodin thought about it. If Aurida wanted to kill Zakum, it would probably just be to further his specific purposes. Yet, if Random and Brandy didn’t kill Zakum, Terra would never become normal again… and helping Aurida might yield his sister and cause Grabbersit to be called off.
The awkward pause was ended by Rodin’s statement on the matter.
And Aurida smiled while Brandy and Random exchanged nervous glances at his verdict…
“Alright… I’ll help you.” read more

Hah! Due to a loophole in the legal process used to keep me from spewing any of my crap over the slate of this website, I have returned.
Yes.
I don’t know if I have anything left to fill another Immoral Craplist with (seeing as I’ve been unable to play Maple Story whilst at my mother’s. Blog patrol, that is the only meaningful sentence in this blog.)
But while I’ve been filling my heart with Yoshi’s Island, (yes the original) Star Fox (also the original) and Tales of Symphonia (notice Aurida’s striking resemblance to Lloyd, who fills picture two.), what’ve Aurida and Rodin been up to? read more

Anyone who can recognize that title from anywhere deserves a brownie.
-wields a knife made out of brownies-
So, oh yes. The return of The Immoral Craplist since everyone loved it SO much last time around.

Crimes Aurida’s done with his time today list as the following:
– Woke up, went into Maple World with a thought that there was something different about Rodin today.
– Did nothing for awhile.
– Bought 17 King-Sized stars, and decorated an entire tree with them in a show of bravado and American capitalism. Oh, fun. [Picture B would be a nice thing to look at.]
– Got 4 more pies which will probably sit unused in my inventory until they rot. Anyone in Scania that’s decided doesn’t need their graham crackers? Aurida comes to save the day by giving you back your inventory space at minimal cost. (Only $19.95 plus 11.2% sales tax!)
– Got owned by Chuck Norris. (Apparently since Rodin and Aurida looked so much alike, he got the two confused.)
– As a result of the last item on the list, spent some time floating in orbit of Maple World.
– Got incinerated upon re-entry. Lost 5%.
– Respawned in Earth’s atmosphere. Died from the thinness of the oxygen. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, and after equipping scuba tank, fell a lot. Got annihilated by a band of rampaging skydivers. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, put Magic Guard on, fought skydivers. Lagged, unable to drink elixir. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, summoned a nuclear missile. Got 1% from killing the skydivers but lost another 5% due to the fact that explosions hurt.
– Respawned in the air again, died from nuclear radiation. Lost 5%.
– Respawned in the air, equipped haz-mat suit. Fell on Zakum, instantly killing it but got none of the experience due to several immediate deaths by impact damage. Lost nothing… this time.
– Respawned. Got killed horribly by Zakum hunters, due to you ‘stealing their kill, hacker, omg.’ Lost 5%.
– Respawned. Died in attempt to rescue burning snowman. Lost 5%.
– Respawned and spent all day rocking in the fetal position in a corner, hoping he wouldn’t die. Due to what is now the 4th most improbable event in the history of the Universe, lost 5%.
– Respawned, went on drunken rampage. Got face smashed in by motorcycle gang. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, sighed heavily and began training back up. Sister kicks Aurida off, but foolishly he leaves the computer on. Aurida is dead before he knew what hit him. Lost 5% and his dignity.
– Respawned, quits the world, promising to be back later. Through teamwork by all his siblings, he does not. Lost 5%. read more