Anyone who can recognize that title from anywhere deserves a brownie.
-wields a knife made out of brownies-
So, oh yes. The return of The Immoral Craplist since everyone loved it SO much last time around.

Crimes Aurida’s done with his time today list as the following:
– Woke up, went into Maple World with a thought that there was something different about Rodin today.
– Did nothing for awhile.
– Bought 17 King-Sized stars, and decorated an entire tree with them in a show of bravado and American capitalism. Oh, fun. [Picture B would be a nice thing to look at.]
– Got 4 more pies which will probably sit unused in my inventory until they rot. Anyone in Scania that’s decided doesn’t need their graham crackers? Aurida comes to save the day by giving you back your inventory space at minimal cost. (Only $19.95 plus 11.2% sales tax!)
– Got owned by Chuck Norris. (Apparently since Rodin and Aurida looked so much alike, he got the two confused.)
– As a result of the last item on the list, spent some time floating in orbit of Maple World.
– Got incinerated upon re-entry. Lost 5%.
– Respawned in Earth’s atmosphere. Died from the thinness of the oxygen. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, and after equipping scuba tank, fell a lot. Got annihilated by a band of rampaging skydivers. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, put Magic Guard on, fought skydivers. Lagged, unable to drink elixir. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, summoned a nuclear missile. Got 1% from killing the skydivers but lost another 5% due to the fact that explosions hurt.
– Respawned in the air again, died from nuclear radiation. Lost 5%.
– Respawned in the air, equipped haz-mat suit. Fell on Zakum, instantly killing it but got none of the experience due to several immediate deaths by impact damage. Lost nothing… this time.
– Respawned. Got killed horribly by Zakum hunters, due to you ‘stealing their kill, hacker, omg.’ Lost 5%.
– Respawned. Died in attempt to rescue burning snowman. Lost 5%.
– Respawned and spent all day rocking in the fetal position in a corner, hoping he wouldn’t die. Due to what is now the 4th most improbable event in the history of the Universe, lost 5%.
– Respawned, went on drunken rampage. Got face smashed in by motorcycle gang. Lost 5%.
– Respawned, sighed heavily and began training back up. Sister kicks Aurida off, but foolishly he leaves the computer on. Aurida is dead before he knew what hit him. Lost 5% and his dignity.
– Respawned, quits the world, promising to be back later. Through teamwork by all his siblings, he does not. Lost 5%.

At least Rodin was moderately useful. Through careful espionage, (OK, I stole Snake’s cardboard box. So what?) I watched him go about his daily routine.
– After watching Aurida leave and feeling that ping of sorrow at his life, only being used to occasionally jump off a cliff and give (sometimes take) items to some car-driving Lego girl, he entered Maple world by his own means.
– Killed a lot of NPCs out of frustration. Apparently his duty is to keep them from levelling up.
– Found the Question to the Ultimate Answer, but promptly forgot it.
– After being punched in the back of the head, gave Rambo his bow back.
– Rode a Crimson Balrog. Said Crimson Balrog was not particularly happy and so flew away from any solid ground before executing aerial manuevers only concieved in the fabrications of a clearly insane mind.
– Became the first person to successfully win a rodeo on the back of a ‘Rog.
– Got shot down so far into negative hit points by said ‘rog that he came back around to positive.
– Owned the ‘rog.
– Got a girlfriend!
– Refused a rather simple demand (“Honey, help me take over the world and rule it with an iron fist.” she said.)
– Found out that his new girlfriend knew Doom and had the ability to create magic rocks.
– Also found out that repeated castings of Doom on people make the length of it double every time.
– Got away.
– Did math.
– Came up with something just over 3 months.
– Thought about how Aurida would react.
– Went back to the Mystic Bridge just before Aurida got there.

So, yeah. If you’re having trouble picking apart the tiny bits of truth in this, it goes something like this.
I logged onto Aurida, didn’t get much done except getting 4 more pies and decorating a tree before my sisters kicked me off.
For those of you who read this thing and wondered what I was smoking, try reading just that last sentence. Without the +4 Randomness bonus given to me by the Uber Hat of Schnauzer, that would be THIS ENTIRE BLOG.
For those of you who read this blog and wondered what I was smoking, and where they can get some?
I’d tell you… but then I’d have to sic Rodin on you. 😉

– Aurida, logging off with 4.16%.