Maple News
Friday July 3, 2007

ORBIS DECLARES WAR IN EL NATH
ORBIS–
On Wednesday, Aug 1, Maple President Jimro313 signed a declaration of war contract, allowing
GMs and the Maple Peace Corps to fully engage in the fight against the zombie threat.
Since January, the zombie population exploded and the coolies expanded their turf beyond
the Dead Mine area.
Coolie attacks began in the Nath Village area beginning in late July. So far 24 attacks have been documented
with a death toll of 14 people.
The latest assault occured Monday night when a pack of 30 Coolies entered the southern part of the village
and ambushed villagers during a local BBQ. Among the dead was Orbis’ domestic ambassador Javis Pinoy.
According to witnesses, it became a free-for-all compdown for the zombies until the town’s local defense volunteers
could mobilize and fight off the invaders.
Mr. Pinoy was taken to the local medical center where he died from blood loss and poisoning.
In response to the latest attack, Orbis declared war on the Coolies and the Maple Peace Corps army is assembling
at El Nath in preparation for battle. A pre-war speech to the Southern Territories will be given
live on MPTV 20:00 Orbis time, 23:00 Ludi time, 16:00 Victoria Time.
An evacuation for the rural regions of El Nath is underway and housing arrangements are being made.

HACKERS SUSPECTED IN COOLIE AGGRESSION
EL NATH– Maple Bereau of Investigation (MBI) spokes person William KingdomOfMS held a press conference today.
During the conference, he says the MBI investigators and forenzic scientists have enough evidence to believe
that the Coolie’s aggression and advances is not of natural cause. ‘We have found trace amounts of hackium in
the dead zombies recovered from the city.’
Hackium, the deadly radioactive element that is known to give hackers their powers, was found in the hair, eyes,
blood, bones and muscles of the dead zombies.
Geological surveys in the past even surveys conducted before Dead Mine was built have all confirmed that
hackium deposits on the mountains are nowhere near threat levels, and since the zombies are stupid,
they don’t have the brains to injest or inject hackium.
“We believe hackers have been at work” Mr. KingdomOfMS said. “If hackers are at work, we will hunt down and punish them,”
The Maple National Law Office in Orbis has issued a statement for the press: “We’re not sure what kind of work has
been done to turn the coolies into the monsters that they are, but if this is the work of somebody, its a crime
that is beyond treason and if convicted of such charges, that individual faces the death penalty,”

VICTORIA GARBAGE GARBLE SETTLED…EXCEPT KERNING CITY
The cities and towns in the Territory of Victoria have settled their disputes with the local city workers who run
services like schools, garbage collection, community centers and libraries.
The dispute went territory wide last month when city workers accross Victoria threatened to go on strike
grinding city activity to a halt.
All except for Kerning, most city governments manage to strike a deal with their employees and there were happy endings all around.

In Kerning, this is not the case. The city workers went on strike July 15th, shutting down all of the city’s services and
operations that keep it running.
Garbage collection has stopped and piles of garbage are growing on the streets, alleys and everywhere.
With a population of 2.2 million and growing, Kerning is the 2nd largest city in the southern half of MapleWorld after
Ludibrium, with a population of over 4.5 million.
Local health officials are worried over the potential devestating impacts if the strike doesnt end soon.
“Garbage is piling up everywhere you go, and with that we are going to see more rats, bugs, mushrooms, neckis,
and other buzzards and vermin real quick,”
With rats comes diseases, the ultimate threat to the people; and workers at Kerning County General Hospital are
gearing up for possibly the worst series of epidemics since 1975 when chemical clouds drifted over Victoria.
People have already begun prostesting; one way by dumping their garbage on the front steps of Kerning City Hall.
While GMs threaten to issue a 1.5 mil fine for litterers, the Kerning City Police refuses to act.
Chief Mack was quoted, “hey if these guys wanna dump their crap on City Hall, let them. it’s what they get for slandering the civic employees and not working with them to write an agreeable contract,”
The KC government and mayor say that the employees and their unions are not ‘acting accordingly’ nor are they making realistic requests.
Mayor Chimburger says, “They want a pay increase that will cost the city 800 million annually on top of protection
from hackers and other imaginative things they came up with,”
Union leader Criggy Zackson fired back saying ,”Kerning City processes (makes and uses) around 15 billion mesos a year.
On top of that, the city generates a profit of 15 billion mesos. They violate the Economic Charter that clearly states in paragraph 211 secion 9, that the city should use their profits to start new services and make extra improvements.
in steat, they divide that 15B amongst themselves. [13 city councillors]. Each man is getting over a bill each!”
The city workers, on the other hand make only 8-10K an hour, while supervisors and higher up make only 20K an hour.
The workers also claim rising rent and taxes and other costs reduce the purchase power of their hard earned money.

While both sides are divided on key issues, talks have broken down again yesterday and will not resume until next Wednesday, then the city government breaks off for summer vacation.
In the mean time, garbage builds up and the stench on a hot day continues to worsen.
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NOOB PQRN PRODUCER ARRESTED.
Jimmy Pickleton was arrested while taking the bus home yesterday by Kerning city Police.
Pickleton was accused of using noobs and kids to make porn videos to sell on the Free Market.
Police raided his apartment in by 31st and Victoria and found boxes and boxes of video tapes, DVD’s and
magic video crystals, filming equipment and costumes. Police also found three children and a noob locked in a bedroom.
The kids were inspected by paramedics and sent home; the noob checked and released with a promis to appear
at the police station for further questioning.
According to evidence gathered, Pickleton was in the middle of a filming project using the kids and would bring in other sick pedofiles to fill the role as the ‘man’. A contact list was found and police arrested 4 of the 7 suspects.
Pickleton has an outstanding warrant in Ludibrium and Orbis for using kids in his projects. He just moved to Kerning from Henesys fearing the Justice Arrow would discover his operations.
Pickleton had planned to take the videos to the Free MArket and sell them to merchants from the SEA Lands and Korean Lands for about 200K a piece.
Pickleton was denied bail in court and faces trial in October.

AZEROTHAN MISSILE LANDS IN SEA LANDS.
NEW SEOUL, KL
The villagers of Vietnam County village Dong 3ing were woken when a projectile object
crash landed and exploded in the forests by the Jub Jub River at 4:15 AM local time.
GMs confirmed the missile was not made locally or even from Maple World.
The SkyWatch Agency; the New Seoul, KL, based tracking company was watching the skies
over Vietnam County that night when their radar picked up the rocket. According to
SkyWatch, the missile was travelling south-east downward at 42* from horozontal at over 785 miles per hour.
“The fuel in the missile seemed to have ran out as it deviated off its course (for ocean pas the Kong Kong area)
and fell into Vietnam county”
SkyWatch dispatched local GMs and MPC army to Dong 3ing to secure the crash site. scientists found the rocket
was loaded with canisters holding poisons. Half were destroyed in the crash, causing the blast. workers are still working to difuse the other chemical bombs.
According to SkyWatch; the missile went off course and was not supposed to land in the SEA Lands.
It has been confirmed that the missile orginated from the country of Azeroth- a 2 continent region that is on the brink of a civil war between the country’s governing Alliance and the rebel faction called the Horde.

So far no serious threat has been determined, but officials are talking amongst themselves and with officials from Roika;
Maple World’s closest ally.
“We believe that missile went haywaire and went off course and flew until it’s fuel ran out. We have no reason to believe
that Kong Kong would be targeted for such an attack and the missile’s exact trajectory before it’s fuel ran out was the ocean 5 miles out from Kong Kong,”
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PINION:
STORY WRITER IN AZEROTH
Story writer, Wolfguy184, who is the author of the Northern Markets series, and a journalist for Maple Rust urban news network sent a package to the offices in Kerning City.
Wolfguy184 had left MapleWorld via flight from the SEA LANDS in late May after saying in a note ‘MapleWorld sucks! I am so sick of it!” If he was in the country that guy would get his ass PWNED by the GMs for such a treasonous act!
The guy who submitted frequently to the MMOT offices in Kerning (2815 Victoria Rd) apparenly stormed out after recieving a comment from one of his fans saying the latest chapter in Northern Markets was ‘poorly done’

While no new chapters have emerged, Wolfguy does plan on putting out a new one soon.

Wolfguy184 landed in the Azeroth national capital Stormwind where he was assigned the name Rannbo and given citizenship after swearing allegience to the Alliance. Rannbo has sent some articles to the MMOT office in SEA LAnds, but
they got thrown out. So he goes around killing monsters there and, well we contacted the Spirit Healer service in the Eastern Kingdoms, and they said the guy has died more than 140 times during his first two months.
“He’s going to rack up steep bill by the end of the year!” According to the Spirit Healer in the state of West Fall who sees Rannbo the most says it not only costs 10 silver(10K mesos) to repair your gear, but we also charge 2 silver 25 copper (22500 mesos) per resurrection. He’s going to owe more than 10 gold (1 million mesos) by years end!”
The Spirit Healers plan to instate a program to teach people aboutthe costs of resurrection. the costs were implemeted so the Spirits can cover their own living costs and mana fuel costs.

OF course, Wolfguy184 or Rannbo is one of the few million who sneak out of MapleWorld every year. In Roika, GMs and volunteers end up deporting 50,000 people.

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Kerning city News Press