I should know this by now.
I mean, I’m not the only one who suffers, who has it rough, who laughs when they’d rather cry.
I’m so sensative. All it takes is for a few people to call me an idiot and to get over it to make me burst into tears.
Because I’m always thinking about how other people see me.
And I can already tell that I’m not liked or wanted around here.
But I’m not going to complain. I’m going to take the pain. I’m going to cry and cry and cry, but I’ll take it and I’ll smile because that is what everyone wants. I should never complain, there are those who have it far worse than me. I have absolutely no right to complain about anything. I really am selfish. I know. People are going to tell me that. In my face.
People are going to call me an idiot, a stupid piece of crap, a worthless excuse for a human. But I’m not going to complain about it. There’s nothing I can do about it anyway. I’ll just pretend I’m happy, because being depressed makes people hate me more. Like some I know.
I’m losing friends. Fast. Nobody likes a drama queen. Spade is right, I don’t want to die. I’m too scared. I’m a coward. But I’m not the only coward who runs from things. Other people do it too. I just feel more crappy about it because I hope that putting my depression out there would help me. I guess not. ._. iSpade is totally right. I’m still really upset though because I made people and him feel more scorn for me and that makes me feel worse. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry. Just.. don’t hate me… please. </pathetic>
I don’t want this to sound like a quitting blog. ‘Cause then I would get banneded…. ed.
But I need a break. I’ll be on SMS, but if you want to talk, you’ll have to find me wandering around.
Okay so I can’t avoid making this sound like a quitting blog. -.o; *Coughdammitcough*
I’m a selfish idiot… blah blah blah, drama queen, blah blah blah, Spade is starting to hate me, blah blah blah, can’t hate myself anymore that I do now, blah blah blah, gonna smile and be happy and all that other bull, blah blah blah.
Bye-bye, have a nice day! :D
~Happy Mapling from 13lue to you.