(aka ‘I was really Sleepy, Bored and Brainless when I wrote this. What a combination.’)

Intro
I was thinking, hey, enough of angsty stories full of crap. I ought to actually blog about my MMO experience. Even if it will be no less crappier, who cares? No one can come up to me and tell me, Oi, this is a place to blog about your MMO experiences, not to tell long grandmother stories, so bugger off to your little corner in FF.net or something.

While I wondered if they had corners for grandmothers in Something, along came the perfect event to blog about.

MY SNAIL LEVELED! :DDD

So here I am.

Clarification
Before you get confused and wonder, what-the-cashew-is-this-nut-thinking-about?-Snails-are-hardly-level-able, my Snail refers to my dear old Gastropoda, Ice Wizard (Wizard-ress?) of the brave old world Aquila, newly level 48, training darn slowly and proud of it.

(Loving the parenthesises? How about the insanely irrelevant subheadings? No? Deal with it.)

A Little Her-story
Gastropoda’s name, to put it loosely, means ‘stomach-foot’, hence snails. (Technically, snails belong to the phylum Gastropoda and I could jolly well call her a slug too. But ah, wouldn’t want to bore you with stuffy classification details.) During her days in Victoria, I always joked about her being a mass murderer of her own kin, what with all the snails she had to bash to death one pathetic HP at a time.

Her battlecry? ‘DEATH TO THE SNAILS! Uh, I mean. Other than me.’

The Screenshots
Yeah. So she levelled. Go ogle at the screenshot #2 of uber level-uppitiness, then come back when you’re done.

In celebration of her uber level-uppitiness, I drew a fanart of her Almighty Gastropod-ness, in the full glory of her +5 INT black Amoria set and purty Lama Staff. (How ego is this, to do a fanart of your own character. But hey, no denying her uber level-uppitiness! Bow before the Snail!)

That’s screenshot #1, presented after #2 because I passed primary school math, alright.

I know, it’s fugly. But I ought to be awarded a medal or something, for having the thick skull to still go ahead with something even though it’s a lost cause. (That’s my usual modus operandi, so you can expect me to continue my reign of terror that is Aurora’s Redemption for quite some time. :P)

More Her-story: Gastro’s Obssession with Speeeeeeed
For a Snail, my Gastro moves darn fast. When I don’t have need for INT boosters, I’ll equip a Brown Jester and Blue Whitebottom Shoes in addition to my Icarus Cape (2) [darn speed cape] to get speeeed. All I lack from the get-up is a Red Whip, but I’m stingy. I’ll just wait until my cleric gets one. XD

But still, the speed boost is sexeh. And addictive. Someone once mentioned that speed in Maple is like crack, and I heartily agree. If I had the mesos and the guts, I’d like to scroll a +37564 Speed Whitebottom Shoes, just for the utter whee-ness of zooming.

Things to Do When Alone on a Public Transport
Disclaimer: Only applicable in certain contexts. Don’t come after me when you get arrested for public disturbance.

Since I’m on the topic of Gastropod worship, I might as well present to thee the spiffy animation I did for her. Visualise the train to Ludi, all empty except for your lonesome self. You ponder on the meaninglessness of life, while at the same time wondering if Omega Sector would be less torturous than @!$# Ludi. Then you realise: being alone on the train gives you ten kinds of motivation to do silly things. Silly things which you proceed to execute.

These things included shouting the lyrics of Black Eyed Pea songs, then waxing lyrical about the meaninglessness of life while mocking the insidiously white and cheerfully fluffy clouds, and composing poetry. Fortunately for you, only the last thing has been chronicled in the following animation.

If you were wondering, yes, I was kicked off the train before I could think of a line to follow up ‘My Nose is Blue’ with. Spoilsports.

Why All Drops Should Be Below Average
To top it off, the day when I levelled was a pretty good day for drops. I got two Dagger Forging Manuals, one Crossbow Simulator, a Blue Arten from completing the ‘Get me lots of XX-eon leftovers, the Green Mesoranger needs to eat them for breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper’ quest, and a nicely under-average Red Pennance. (Screenshots #3 and 4.)

The last one made me happiest, because I can NPC it without guilt. I hate it when I get above-average equips: I’ll need to 1) get off my lazy bum to trawl the market for prices or 2) transfer it to a mule so that I can do the trawling later. Very very much later.

No wonder I don’t get rich mesos-wise. Hmm.

Life-and-death Thingummabob
Anyway, when Gastro levelled, I realised that hey, it’s time for a change in equips! But the nice Dark Calaf I had planned for her was nowhere in sight, basically due to the fact that I still hadn’t bought it. >.> But seeing what Basilmarket has to offer, I’m sort of indecisive. Should I just stick with my Black Amoria Set, which adds about the same number of INT as an average Calaf and has more defence overall, or just wait for an above-average Calaf to dance in front of me in a tea cosy a la Dobby style and then grab it?

The first saves the mesos, the latter saves me from getting too sick of the uber spiffiness that is my Gastro. Such a life-and-death thingummajiggy.

The Long Awaited-for Conclusion
SilverFx can’t even be brief with a simple blog, can she? So I shall halt now on my meandering way and hit the ‘submit’ button. It’s 11pm anyway, and there’s ebil school tomorrow.

Cookies for thee that hath read up to… uh, thence?