Currently listening toooo: Duality <—- interesting mix of ‘sounds’ in that song.

Welcome to my first eva guide! See, I’ve been working on a newly created nublet on the wonderfully inflated server of Kradia. I’ve pqed for a while, so I decided to make this guide for the sake of education. Helping me out with this guide will be the very nublet I made. Say hello to lnspectorK (Actually LnspectorK, but come on, you can’t even pronounce that)!

Hi MMOers!

Yes. Anyway. ON WITH THE GUIDE!

Hey there lnspectorK! Where are you headed?

I’m gonna pq! Lots of experience, and good drops from the pigs in bonus, so I’ve heard!

Haha…sounds exciting! But with the great gift of the HPQ, there comes responsibilities. If you don’t go in knowing what you’re doing, you could get called noob, kicked, or even scammed!

Oh noes! What do I do??

Don’t worry, lnspector! I’m here to help you out! First things first, head on over to Henesys! I’ll see you there!

…Not even any money for the taxi? You little cheap a-

Ah! Good to see you here, lnspector! Ready to get started?

*Pant* *Wheeze* Yeah, just give me a sec to-

Excellent! How, I’m sure you see all of the people out there, screaming their demands, “J> 3x smuggle rush pq@@@@@”, “J> PQ LVL 30+ MUST DO 3x”, “J> PQ I CAN SMUGGLE”, “SELLING CAKES OFFER@@@@” and so on.

That’s a lot of screaming! Plus, none of them are simply joining a pq! What does all that other stuff mean?

Haha, little lnspector, you ARE a curious one. While it would be beneficial to learn the many things that these people say, it is much more efficient and time-saving to simply be born with such knowledge.

Born with it? But…that’s not possible. =/

Only not possible for noobs, lnspector, only not possible for noobs. So! Just do a little spamming saying that you’re joining a pq, and I’ll get back to you!

Ditcher.

Good job, lnspector! You got a party! Level 18 magician, 19 rogue, 15 swordsman, not bad!

Thanks?

So now comes the getting in. Difficult on Kradia, isn’t it lnspector? …lnspector? Where’d you go? WHERE’D EVERYONE GO?!

AH! Found you!

Oh darn, you’re so good! *mutter* Anyway, what do I do now?

Now you have to convince the party that you’re absolutely ESSENTIAL to have! See those six platform up there? Each of them requires a different colour of the six seeds available. The plants around you? Hit them and pick up seeds if they drop. But don’t keep to yourself!

Huh? What do you mean?

Be bold! Run around and collect seeds from other people!

By ‘collect’, do you mean ‘jack’?

Precisely! No matter how many yells and screams, threats to be KSed, or defames you get, keep collecting them seeds until you get one of each colour. It’s all worth it in the end when you look like the hero, dropping seeds on each platform!

And wasting everyone’s time, including my own?

All to be a hero!

DUDE! They’re gonna kick me next pq! NOT COOL!

Ah, the moon bunny is here! Time to redeem yourself! Kill every single monster before it touches our furry little friend!

I’m not sure I should do that. It looks like the others are just tapping the monsters and luring them away…it seems like a pretty good system.

NO YOU FOOL! Those bloodthirsty monsters are chasing after your friends! GO! Rescue them! Hit those monsters until they die!

I’m getting yelled at. They keep saying “DON’T KILL!”

They’re not yelling at you! They’re yelling at the monster! OH! No time to go over that now! A cake has dropped! Go and collect it!

The leader’s supposed to get those.

Not if you wanna look like a hero!

How’d you get 5 defames? There are only 4 people in the party!

I DON’T KNOW, YOU B-

BUT! Good job, hero! You’ve made it! Let’s move on!

Welcome to the bonus, lnspector! Now take a look around you…what do you see?

Lots of pigs! They drop good stuff, right?

Yup! So…..what do you think you should do now?

Kill pigs and take the drops, right?

WRONG! *smack* HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?!

OW! What am I supposed to do?!

Simple. Follow around the strongest member of your party! Give them the occasional F2, or compliment about their damage. Scavenge the leftovers like some stray dog. When an equip drops however…that’s when you go in for the kill! If the other person gets it, follow them around while spamming F4 and keep saying “plz plz plz plz i noob”. If YOU get it however, good job, champ! Don’t settle for anything less than 20x the NPC price of your items! IT WILL BE YOUR NEW GOD!

So basically, you want me to be a noob and steal. >.>

Yup. Quick on the gun, aren’t you?

WTH!? I GOT EXPELLED!

Ah, don’t worry! That dagger you looted makes it allll worth it!

YOU DOUCHEBAG! IT’S YOUR FAULT!

Now now lnspector, don’t get violent! Put away that dagger now…

SHANKED, YOU ARSE!

Well viewers, I hope this has been a great experience for you all! Go on out there and HPQ your butts off! Until then, I’ll be here. Hey! I think I see lnspectorK out there KPQing! I bet I know what the next guide’s gonna be!

AND I KNOW WHO’S GONNA GET SHANKED WITH A SHARPER DAGGER!