Guys, I need to hand a chisrtmas project.. so can u read mine over T.T and check for errors and tell me what i need to add more or stuff… lol or flame me w/e
Ever Green Tree~
Each year,a special day comes at Dececmber for everyone in this
world,to celebrate the birth of God,to show hospitality to people,
to even just having fun,and what better way to symbolize
it then to have a beautiful tree in your house?
Another day,another lonely day… As I woke up from my deep slumber,somthing
cold falls apon the tip of my green head,was this.. Christmas? Tap,tap,tap was the sound as million of snowflakes warm-heartly greeted me.Woosh!Was the sound I heard as the wind gave me a great “high five” knocking me unexpectedly to the right.It was strange seeing everyone leaving,was this a part of this December I heard so much about? I look helplessly as my friends slowly fly pass,I coulden’t let them go! I struggled,I pushed,I knock every direction I could,but my feet were glued to the ground. “No! Come back,dont leave me!” I screamed in desperation,it was no use, I was unheard… I was alone. For the next 2 weeks,I spent my day standing here,waiting,looking for my friends,believing in miracles,that they would come back..
Thump,thump… “What?! Who’s there?” I open my eyes,and I see shapes and sizes with what seemed like a weapon,what was happening?! I see many fellow comrades crying there hearts and shereiking,but it was no use the figures did not listen,they did not care,they took the fangs they had in their hands and chopped us,one by one. Horror filled my mind, like I was meat thrown in a lion den,waiting to be eaten,was there NOTHING I coulden’t do to save myself?4 figures then come closer to me,2 seem to be babies,and 2 bigger shades-I remember,they were known as humans.”This one seems good honey,lets take this one” what is that suppose to mean?! I coulden’t do anything,I winced in the undenyable pain,my size might be great,but no tree could hold out this long!I dropped to the floor,half dead,my legs were gone,and I was straped to a weird animal that carried the 4 shawdows..
After what seemed like hrs,I notice the pain in my legs were starting to go away, the only thing that made me felt clinging on to the earth was the fact that my friends would come and save me,I coulden’t give up yet! I was carfully lifted to what seemed like a warm den of some sort,and putted in the middle of the den near this fire place…I knew I was getting eaten. I was beautifully dressed,bells sparkled at me,glitter made me look special,and at the top of my head… I was crowned with the beautifulest star I could ever imagine.I knew I was dinner,but a smeak smile came out,seeing how beautiful I looked,but wait…I wase’nt getting ate up! Instead I was the center of attention,boxes went under my feet,everyone was laughing!
In the end I found out,I would have fun with this new family and I found new friends!(thats untill chirstmas ended and I was stuffed into a basement xP) <— added that
By:Samuel
Thats good
Cut out the ellipses. The ‘. . .’ s. Too many of those.
Do proper spacing. Commas usually have a space after them, like so.
Spelling mistakes: ‘undenyable’ -> ‘undeniable’, ‘straped’ -> ‘strapped’, ‘beautifulest’ doesn’t exist, use ‘most beautiful’ etc. There are lots more, but I’m lazy.
I didn’t read the story, because the technicalities mentioned above put me off. And I’m lazy. 😛