There’s this girl at school that I’m going out with. She’s a junior and her name is Alaina. She’s new to my school this year because she’s a freshman, and I’m a Junior. She’s a lovely person, but I’m the one breaking down inside.
She and I spend time together in the first class of school and on the bus home. Although we started going out on the 23rd of October, things just haven’t been working out. I can’t seem to figure her out. Although we haven’t been friends for long, I thought I could start off with hugs. But these hugs aren’t the feeling of good you would get if you hugged someone you loved or cared about. It was an empty hug. I don’t know, but I wish I could make her smile everytime I look at her. Sure, she smiles every so often when I joke. I haven’t heard her laugh except once when I told her a joke. But this relationship just seems so fake.
Although I know we’re not working out, I try my hardest to make this thing go. Saying, “Good morning Alaina. How are you today?” and giving her a hug and ending the day on the bus saying, “Have fun Alaina. I hope you’ve had fun today.” and giving her a hug from the heart. But the feeling just doesn’t mix. When I hug her, she yelps with an, “Oh no..” or an “Ahh~” Well, I can’t hold hands because I have a disorder or something that I get sweaty hands easily, so it’s a hard beginning. Anyways, these hugs I give her are false reassurances to myself that things will work out in the end. I know we’re not working out, but I’m lying to myself about our relationship.
I tell myself that everything will work out in the end. Everything will work out in the end. Will everything work out in the end? Maybe things will work out when we end this relationship. But is it worth saving?
Here I am now at home making a blog about this. I wrote this, and I’m about to log onto MapleStory and tell my friends about how crappy I feel today and reexplaining the entire situation. When everything goes wrong for me, my escape is MapleStory. What I used to cry on person when I’m feeling down is now the one I cry over. I’ve got nobody to mix my chemicals and feel good. I’ve got no one’s shoulders to cry over. I wish I had someone close to be with. Sure, I sound like an emotional kid, but MMO Tales is the shoulder right now.
Edit: No, she doesn’t play MapleStory. She’s a level 8 Gymnast.
The Ninja offers his shoulder for you to cry on.
PM him if you’ve concerns. He’ll do his best to help.
dont hug yet, if she isnt comfortable with it tahts probably why your getting a negative feeling
*fades away*
Nobody At Night
Hmm, I guess she is sort of tight with hugs.
Kids at my school dont mind if I hug them, and Im like their best friend.
I guess you just explain what you are telling to everyone to her. Tell her how you honestly feel.
Besides, youre lucky. I cant even GET girls.
Im just too ugly.
aww fuzz =(
jing, all i can say is talk it out.
and that i love your hair. teehee.
Yeah, talking is the way to go indeed. Good luck with that Jing, I can see you’re really trying here, but worst come to worst, there’s other fish in the see, and from what I’ve seen, you won’t have too much trouble finding them. *warbles irately and goes back to homework*
-Munky
I really don’t think there’s a point to high school relationships, besides senior relationships. The chances that you’re going to get married and spend your life together or whatever is next to zero. Multiple people have asked me out this year, but I turned them down. I have better things to do than have a girlfriend. I just don’t have time to waste on things like that.