Well, boy howdy youngsters! It a-seems you have come again for yet another story by PapaKatz. For youz young’uns that ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, I’ve decided to name a this here series of stories the Campfire stories! So gather ’round the campfire for the theeeeeyurd installment! Yee hee ya howdy!

Now, fricking eh!, I’ve made a forum for anyone that wants to be starred in a story. I decided that about three guest appearances from MMO’ers will be put in a story. Sometimes it may only be two, and sometimes it will be four to pick up the slack of the story that has only two. *glares at Story #7*

In this, FINE STORY!!!!1, we’ll be starring:
Aurida –> addicted to the spell Doom as if it was crack
Guosim –> the Mall security~perhaps takes her job too seriously
pirkid –> Infinite wisdom Time mage a.k.a. A Nerd

They’re brave souls indeed to decide to step up to this task. Even I sometimes won’t willingly participate in my own stories. That must be because they’re so awesome!

Today our story starts off with James hanging out in the mall. I have no idea how he got back after he was shot in the swamp and his body being torn to shreds by the wild alligators that are native to that land. It also has me bewildered as to how in the world he got back to his home town with all of his clothes on and all the money in his wallet. This is a strange world we live in, especially with loonies like Grimno around. How in the world is a bear capable of human speech?

Enough of that side-tracking. As I stated, James is in the mall and what does one usually do at a mall? Hang out with friends of course! But James is in a bit of a predicament considering he has no friends… what a loser. *snickers*

James: Lyk3, ohe mai gawd, I’mma rite hear dontcha knowzorz?

It also seems that James being lonely is inevitable considering he can’t speak right.

James: I dunneeda tak3 dis crappoh. I’mma outta hear, n00blets.

May I also remind James that this is probably the only job he’ll ever get and if he skips out now, he will no-doubt become a hobo living in the streets who spends all his money on booze.

Johny: Whaz that talk of booze?!

James: Oie! This isn’t your place to be, Johny! This is my time to shine!

Johny: What’s that?! Aye! I oughtta kick your blimey arrse! You get yer partookus down ovah here, so I can give you the Nathaniel Reed’s Project!

James: I have no idea what that is and why are you talking like an Irish man? D:

Johny: You putrid little snake in the–

*POWZAH! Doom has been casted on Johny!*

Johny: Aye?! Someone’s gone and turn me into a blimey snail! Waz up with that?!

James: ROFFLES and syrup! You’re a snail, you drunk lummox.

Aurida: ZOMG! I love that spell! I’m totally hooked to it!!! I go on a mass killing spree if I don’t get my fix!

James: Oh my! You’re a Doom addict! My father’s addicted to hero–

*Doom is casted on James*

James: But but why mistah? I didn’t do anything! :I

Aurida: Oh yah… that’s the spot. Mama likes her cooking.

Guosim: All right break it up! What’re you crazy kids up to now?

Johny: Aw snap! It’s the fuzz! Time to scram!

*Johny scurries away at a snail’s pace*

James: Hey hey! That snail’s trying to get away!

Guosim: We got a sprinter! I’m callng for backup!

*But Officer Guoism, everyone’s at the Dunkin’ Donuts! We can’t come in now!*

Guosim: I can’t hold him off forever! Send in any reinforcements you got! He’s got explosives!

Johny: Aye! You’re one crazy broad! I’m a blimey snail! I don’t even have arms! How can I be dangerous?!

Guosim: He’s got a gun!! Hit the deck everyone!

James: But I’mma snaaaaail! D: I can’t flee!

Johny: You’re on crack woman! I’m getting outta here! Come to me, 2×4 Escape Vehicle!

Aurida: Why, it’s a fancy car! *casts Doom*

Johny: I just got a new paintjob on that! It hasn’t been used since Issue 1! You better turn it back!

James: Hey! He’s advertising for his own comics in my story!

Johny: Someone smack him! I’m a snail…

*Plastic sword smacks James across the… face? Do snails have a face?*

Guosim: Aha! Backup has arrived!

Pirkid: Why, greetings Earthlings! Have no fear of this superior being in front of you, I will not harm you. But just to let you know, I do know all spells up through Level 9 in Time Magic.

Guoism: Aaah… they sent the fudged up little nooby to help me. -_-

Pirkid: Why I oughtta tell you, ma’am, that I have single-handidly slayed an enraged Troll that had Level 5 Item Forging.

Aurida: Why teeheehee it’s a new victim! *casts Doom*

Pirkid: Despell! Uh uh, sister. That’s not going to work on me. I just said–

*gets tazored by Guosim*

Pirkid: But, but why partner? I thought we had something going…

Aurida: Eeeheeheehohohahoooarf!
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We interrupt this presentation to bring you the following messages. Please buy our products. D:

James: Seriously now, do you or someone you know have a serious spell addiction? Take this victim for example:

Aurida: That last time I wasn’t able to cast Doom on someone, I stabbed myself with hot needles and tried to put a pickle into my bloodstream!

James: That woman is fudged to the eff’ed up. But we want to try and prevent that.

Nerd–I mean Pirkid: We hear at, Trying to Fix the Crazeez, try our best to help people out that have a really messed up addiction to spells. I myself was addicted to casting Level 9 Fire on all my friends and family as I treated myself to a nice cup of Diet Pepsi.

James: Yes, and all you need to do to help someone out is call this number:
1-800-7H15-15N7-4-R34L-#
And your loved ones will be on their way to leading a normal life, like the rest of us.

Johny: Can it help cure my alcoholic addiction?

Guoism: Hey!! Who let him in?! Security! Blast his punk ass outta here!
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We know return to our regularly scheduled presentation. Remember to click on the “Click here if you enjoyed this blog.” button at the bottom, and you may win a cool million dollars!

Seriously. DO IT!!!!

Aurida: Come on now! I need to caaaaaast myyyyyyyyyyyy Dooooooooooom! Is there anyone left in this mall to turn into a snail?!

Johny: Dame it woman! You turned everyone in this farging mall into a bloody snail!

James: Now I’ll never get home in time for dinner! D:

Pirkid: How in the world did I get involved in this? If I could just pick up my staff… WHY DON’T SNAILS HAVE ARMS?!

Guosim: Noobie! Shut it! I have a sneaking suspicion that everything that happened today was your fault! Now you better get your act together, or you’re off the force!

Pirkid: But I was supposed to be the errand boy for the Mall Security! They called me up and told me you needed a Latte’. D:

Johny: Aye, I’ve devoured that latte’. It’s taming the Sea Creature now.

James: I don’t know if he’s talking about his stomach, or something perverted! =D

*SHIZZAAAM KAZOWWOWO BIIIIING MOOOOOOO SHIZIMSIZHISSIZHSIZNM*

Aurida: I turned myself into a snail! :O

Pirkid: Then shouldn’t the rest of us turn back into normal? It clearly states in Merlin’s Book of Magicry– rambles on.

Johny: Aye… someone get him to shaddup.

Guosim: I’m loading my gun, but it’s hard when YOU’RE A FRICKING SNAIL!!!1

Ok, gentlemen, that’s all I have for you today. A finely-written blog and a finely-written story. Stop expecting so much from me! Now I have to get to work on a Talkshow story… I’ll get to that later though. For now, I’m going to dine on a Hot Pocket~

And don’t ask me why Johny was Irish in this story. They just have a funny accent. xD

Just a very important note: It seems I portrayed guosim as a GIRL in this story. Just to let you know, she isn’t a girl. That is all.

~Cheezy