4 Noobs, 13 Snails of Doom (Prologue)


Author’s Note

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Wow, whose dumb enough to stray into a lazydame blog?
Okay, so here’s a story I just drew up that is told mostly in dialogue
It will be random and hilarious, I hope (lol, I had to add that in because if I didn’t then you guys would think I’m bragging or something)
At first it was an idea, it formed in my mind, and I thought, “hey why not let some of my imagination spill out on a sheet of paper.” So this is the result.
Only a short prologue. I do not like to write prologues, I’d rather just kick right off into a story but I decided to make this a prologue while writing it. I simply could not squeeze this information into one paragraph like I was wishing for.
This will be a short and I’m thinking a fun little story to write! Recommendation: Pay close attention to the names so you don’t get confused!

13 chapters, 13 snails, 13 times the excitement! (This one doesn’t count!)

Prologue: History of Snails

The term snail is a word that nowadays seems to be derived by a foolishly insane noob that likes to connect random syllables together to make up incidental words that are not in existence. But in this coincidental event, this crazy noob would not be stating arbitrary vowels strung together with no apparent reason, he would be correct. Yes, no one believes crazy insane noobs are ever correct, but on this rare occasion this person would be correct. Although, you would have to go back at least 1313 years to understand the meaning of the word. This word, in the 13th century of maple world, was seen inhabiting almost all parts of the planet known as Maple. The paranoid noob would probably be deemed as normal in a time where so much was going on, for anyone could define what a snail was, and chances were that they could have spotted a snail while blurting out the words in an instant because of their familiarity with the creature.

The creature plagued the earth as much as dust plagues it. Sweeping up the debris of dust, a task so simple a level 13 noob possessing a 13 attack work glove could accomplish it. What happens if some specks of dust are overlooked? In this case, we’re talking about 13 specks of dust that are actually symbolizing snails. 1300 years before, on the 13th of the 13th month, 13 billion snails were wiped off the windshield of death and effortlessly flung aside into the streets of the afterlife. 13 million and 13 was the current total of snails at the time. Subtract 13 from 13 million and you obviously should get 13 left over. So, as you can see, 13 has always been quite a magnificent and magical number.

The year aforementioned was a time when many truly remarkable things were happening in the world. Speaking of the world, at that time the world had just enlarged its borders when a land had arisen from the ocean, for this reason it was viewed as mysterious. It soon became a destination target. Not like a vacation spot that everyone aims to be at, more like a zone of terrible foreboding. The populous snails of the earth all seemed to be slowly making their way there. As they gradually slid there, they started joining up in groups. Out of fear, noobs began to attack the migrating snails, for they mused that something big was coming. Something big did indeed show up. From the very center of the island, whose actions were all marked as inexplicable, arose a great revealing.

Bombs with legs had generated from an unknown source and were streaming from somewhere. They came forth spreading a wave of terror that pulsed rhythmically to everywhere and the rate they were reproducing at was incredible. Boomers, as they came to be known, became as numerous as the snails. They quickly spread out around the world. Then their mission was fulfilled. They exploded. The flashing, the noise, the scene can all be described as intense and the last noise and thing seen. . .in a snail’s point of view. It was really an explosion of miniature size. The snails were easily destroyed by it but every other being that can be described as big or tall came out of the situation with a chuckle, since the explosion had only tickled their feet.

Imagine you’re a snail. What might you do if a random and unexpected fire suddenly burst from nowhere and came at you at a deathly speed, threatening to end your life? You might not know, but a snail does. It hides. In its shell. Away from danger. And so science has determined there were only 13 snails that had the “intelligence” to duck into their shells, or maybe they were napping at a hell of a lucky time. So, never mistake an absurd noob as dumb for saying the word “noob”, for he has uncovered a time long lost and perhaps has other intelligent information to scream about, but I highly doubt it.

Naroo: Why that was just lovely!

Narator: Indeed?

Naroo: No.

Aris: Hey Jeeves, since you have the butler accent why don’t you fetch me a soda?

Narrator: The name is definitely not Jeeves, and I will most certainly not be fetching you a soda after that rude remark. In addition, I am not a participant in real existence, I am a created form that only lives in this story because the creator has chosen it to be so.

Aris: No five minute break?

Merto: MESO! ! !

Naroo: Well, look at that, Merto’s having another one of his meso tourettes outbursts.

Nubo: Guys, shuddup, we have a quest to take on.

Naroo: We do?

Nubo: Well not yet, but soon

Narrator: Congratulations on spoiling the storyline.

Nubo: It’s not like I told them we have to destroy the remaining 13 snails cause they may be a big threat to the planet and bring doom upon it! Geeze, relax!

Narrator: . . .*sigh*

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Lol, the actual story shall be actually very little like this
Less narrator, more noob!
More noobiness to come!

Oh, also, I’m working on several other things right now too.
A couple of comics, rewriting AHS (yes, for like the 3rd time!), and uhh. . .*throws bomb at face*
*disappears in smoke bubble* *trips over wire* *blog shuts off*

~LaZzz. . .(Your friendly neighborhood lazy perso. . .)(Lol, suicide attempt posting this right after the Nazgul released a chapter! XD)

4 thoughts on “4 Noobs, 13 Snails of Doom (Prologue)”

  1. I love the Twilight Zone allusion.

    Ride that ride in California Adventures. It’s kinda creepy when you think about it at night.

  2. Nice Lazydame. You can’t really compare this to my story because we’re in two different genres.

    -=The Nazgul=-

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