Once again, my title has absolutely nothing to do with my blog.
And yes, Mip, this is very MMO-related. ;x
If you’re one of those people who sees a long blog and runs off… Start running now plocks. Save me the time it takes to let out an aggravated sigh as I read your comment that says something along the lines off, “ZOMG~! BL0GGEH 2 L0NG M3 N0 R34D 1T!!”

Idols
I’d like to say that all of us have had at least one idol… When I say idol, I don’t mean some celebrity who you’re desperately in love with. I mean a role model. A person you look up to, and strive to be more like.

Lnuyasha1216
At least, that’s what his scanian name is. His real name is Patrick. He is a level 66 assassin, in scania. I met him in Henesys Hunting Ground, when I was level 37. The date was October 12, 2006. Surprised I know the date? I remember the date because later that night, I wrote about him in my secret little diary book. I was so smitten with his pixels that I had to write it somewhere before I went insane. *coughs*

At the time, I was only level 37, and he was level 53. I remember it like it was yesterday. A friend had called me to the hunting ground because she was being KSed. I rushed over and began KSing the KSer. My ego got so big that I started KSing the whole green mushroom map at HHG. I felt so powerful. It all went to my head. I was even KSing a level 5X f/p mage. A level 37 sin… With no booster and horribly n00bish haste. I didn’t even have a maple claw. (BRAGGING *burns*)

W H A M. STRONGER SIN, FTW! >
In runs Lnuyasha1216. He made me look stupid, killing every green mushroom that spawned before I even got a chance to look at them. His pixels moved with godlike agility and speed. I was awestruck. I was more than awestruck. But at the same time, I was kinda mad. >_>

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”~

“Inuyasha, leave your party.”

Surprisingly, he did. So we partied… He hasted me, and we continued KSing the entire top layer. It was insannnne~

Over the next few days, me and Inuyasha; Pat started hanging out more and more. (Omg is this some kinda story or sumfin?!? HUH-WHA?!) Whenever I logged on, he was always there. He was always there to help me train, gather quest items, etc. KSing me was damn near impossible. (A’scuse mai French. :x) Not because of my own skill, but because I practically had my own bodyguard in the form of Pat.

The first time I ever saw mushmom, it was with Pat. We didn’t get our own channel, but I got to see it spawn, and I also got to watch as he killed it, along with a CB. Pat was my guide. I’m one who gets lost easily, and Pat showed me around a lot of places. (Ossyria and Ludibrium) he even showed me tons of hidden maps that I never knew existed… He showed me neat little tricks and tips in maple story that most people would overlook… I’ve probably said this too many times already, but I just LOVED being around Pat. Every second that I was online, I was always with Pat. There was rarely a time when I was online and Pat wasn’t.

I was happy when I was around Pat. He was so intelligent. I simply idolized him. (A 16-year-old idolizing a 13 year old. Can you say insannne~?)

When I got to level 40, I didn’t have the 20 fame it required to wear the level 40 gear. Pat went through all of his mules until I could wear it. I was flying through the 4X levels with help from Pat. He’d given me all the material for my level 40 avarice, and then he gave me the material to upgrade it to a dark avarice. At level 43, he let me borrow his Kandayo.

I had never Pqed… ever. Not even the Kerning PQ. Pat explained the Ludi PQ to me, and at level 49, I had my first Ludi PQ. I was totally lost, but through buddy chat and whisper, Pat helped me through it. We even got to the bonus round! ^_^

On November 16, Pat left the ‘Playboy’ guild. I was ECSTATIC. “PAT JOIN MY GUILD!!!! ” At the time, I was a JR. Master in bombsquad. Bombsquad is the BEST scanian guild… EVER. I don’t care what you have to say about that. My current maple husband’s best friend, Drew, created it. Drew rocks. But enough about Bombsquad.

“PAAAAAAAAAAAAT Pleeeeeeeeaseeeee? I’ll beg? ^^;” And I layed on the floor and did that little poke thing that we sins do while attacking and laying down. And of course, my f4 expression was in action. It took a bit of convincing, and F7’s from Pat, but my persistency paid of when he joined the guild. To celebrate, the entire guild went to the FM and played silly little tricks on innocent bystanders.

Scene one:
Me: cool You!!! *f5*
Innocent bystander: o_O
Me: You’RE THE LOUSY CREEP WHO CHEATED ON ME!!
Petey: 😮 He cheated on you?! IMPOSSIBLE! THAT’S THE GUY THAT CHEATED ON ME!
Ani: NO WAI! THAT’S THE CREEP THAT CHEATED ON ME!!! *f4*
Innocent bystander: . . . Can I help you? o_o
Pat: *in the background* *f7*

Scene two:
Me: DUDE! ALLEN! HEY BABY <3333333
Innocent bystander: Wha? O.o
Ani: cool ALLEN! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME LIKE THIS!? *attacks with red whip*
Peter: Dude wth. Allen was MY man… *f4* *throws stars at innocent bystander*
Innocent bystander: *f4* *runs away*
Me: *f6* Omg guys we went too far!!
Pat: *f2*

Scene 3:
Me: 😮 YOU’RE THE FOOL THAT CHEATED ON ME!
Innocent bystander: Whatchoo say nub?11121!2@@!21shiftoneone11@112
Me: O_O
Innocent bystander: GUILD WAR AGAINST BOMBSQUAD!!!
Me, Pat, Ani, Petey: O_O *runs off*
~Later, the guy whispered me. XD I gave him a nice little formal apology “SAWWY MISTAH! D;” and he left me alone. Hehe.

Pat and I are both very wary of hackers. We hate the scum they are and the lies they preach: “H4XX0RZ R GUD 4 U, MMKAI??” Pat and I called ourselves ‘hacker hunters’. It was great, going into the depths of Sleepy in search of hackers to pester. He always made sure I didn’t die. He’d murder all of the cold eyes and drakes with his god-like, pixilated power.

I’d always say to myself, “Dude, if Pat ever gets a maple gf, I’m gonna slit my wrists and jump off a cliff. . . ._.;;; No one is gonna steal this attention from me. Luckily for me, Pat never saw interest in other girls… pixels. O_O But wait, maybe that’s not a good thing, what about me. Dx

But then when I thought about it, I had never seen Pat talk in buddy. And if he did, it was usually to me. The second I logged on, he’d say “Hi Marissa” and CC to my channel to stalk me. I wondered what he did when I wasn’t online… I asked a few guild members one day, and they told me that he didn’t really talk much… Rarely, he would stalk a few of them, but Pat never talked, unless spoken to.

I didn’t want to ask him. Sometimes, when I logged on, he’d have tricks that he discovered, ready to show me. Pat discovered many things in maple. I think I said this earlier, but he knew a lot of tricks. Not hacks. He had an eye for saving money. Pat is a VERY thrifty guy. He could see a good deal in the FM from a gazillion miles away. He was THE KING of saving money. o_O (unlike me.) He was also the king of jump quests. Pat. Is. The. Ultimate. Pro. Jumper. He did all of my jump quests for me. O_O

If I ever had a problem (especially with other in-game players) Pat was the one to go to.
“Pat, _____ is a Kser! >” And he would respond with, “Should I shoot him in the head or the heart?” Or an equally funny line that made me feel better. He even knew when the person was online. He’d be like, “Hey Marissa, do you remember _______?” and I’d be like, “OMG You mean that phag who Ksed me at *insert random map*?! YEAH I REMEMBER! *f5*” And he’d say, “Well, he’s online. >” Sometimes, I’d feel a bit evil, and Pat and I would stalk the guy. But sometimes we just let it go.

When I got to level 50, Pat already had my level 50 gear ready for me. It was a perfect set, 4luk top and 2luk bottoms. And he hadn’t spent a MESO on it. He’d been hunting for it for a while, and when he found it, he was ECSTATIC. He made a guild BBS that said “I found ‘IT’!!!!!! Marissa’s level 50 set is now complete. Flawless. Perfect.” And something else like that. He even had a sapphire slain scrolled with 7 100%’s, and the level 50 theif glove that gave me 3 luk. *No clue what the glove is called*

Guilt
One day, me and Pat were at DMT, just training. Screaming every so often when bob the snail spawned, when he said, “Marissa, I need to tell you something.” I stopped what I was doing and went into darksight so I could f6 him. Because he usually doesn’t say stuff like that. He was like, “Sammy asked me to be her bf.”

My already taken heart sank.

“But I told her no.”

My heart floated back up. Then I felt bad because Sammy’s my friend. >_> Things were a bit awkward whenever I was around Sammy, after that.

~INTERMISSION~
Psyche. Just ‘cause this blog is long doesn’t mean you’re gonna get a break. You’ve read this far, so you may as well keep going. >_>

Pat wasn’t one to “waste” money on NX a lot, but he did buy a black kitty, the antagonist hairstyle, and football throwing stars. Pat’s black kitty was dubbed “Marissa jr.” We both liked that name. :3

On the day I married Eric, Pat also did fireworks in the wedding. It was GREAT. ^___^

Pat had a habit of “guild jumping”. Like one day I’d log on, and a different guild would be under his name. After a bit of nagging; though, he’d always come back. This only happened about 3-4 times, though. Making Pat hard was no easy task. The only thing that irritated him was sexism, and that topic never came up anyways, so it was all good.

Last Friday, (January 26,2007) I bought NX. I bought a black kitty and named it Patrick. Pat laughed at this. I thought it was cute.

Pat and I had INSANNNE methods of keeping ourselves entertained. We’d play tag, running from town to town without using the taxi. We’d play hide-and-seek (which Pat always won because he hid in place I never knew about ), and we’d have guessing games. (The guessing games were guess-the-password games, using the deck of cards.) And sometimes it would just be me chasing Pat… I have a red whip, my shoese are +3 speed, and my haste is maxed. BUT I CANNOT CATCH THAT BOY. EVER.

The most fun, though, was the chat invite game. I’d open a chat invite, then I’d invite Pat. Then I’d invite random people in friends to the chat and go, “ZOMG LOOKIE PAT’S BELLY! ” (Pat wears the level 60 sin gear, so there’s like… this line of his stomach showing. It’s so funny D)

PAT. IS. MY. SOLE. REASON. FOR. PLAYING. MAPLE STORY.

Eric, my MS hubby, is rarely on. My friends used to be my life, but when compared to Pat, they were ‘less fun’. But it just get’s so crazy… And this is the only part of the blog where I actually get sad. =(

On January 28, 2007, bad stuff happened. Brian, this kid in the guild, asked the guild leader to drop a few people’s ranks. (Pat and I weren’t one of the few with their ranks dropped.) Brian (syoarankun) is as immature as they come. And when things don’t go his way, he gets all stupid. The people who had their ranks dropped confronted Brian about it. Ani (SuLing) Ethan (perfercmag3) and James (Pimpmytrikie) tried to confront. Brian got really mad and wrote a cruel BBS before quitting the guild. At least, that’s how the story was told to me. I was offline during all of this.

I logged on, and Ani told me the story. As Ani was telling me the story, Pat did something that I’d never expected from him. He stuck is foot in his mouth. (Not literally.)

Pat: Brian said he understands why I sometimes lead this guild now.
Me: *sigh* Nub.
Pat: Then I guess I’m a nub, too. *f3*

But that’s not Pat sticking his foot in his mouth, yet. Allow me to continue.

Pat: I’m not gonna say what I want to say right now.
Me: Pat… A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Ani: I don’t really care if he quits. (Brian) He needs to man up. I asked a question and he avoided it.
Me: Whatchoo ask?
Pat: I agree with the part about him calling you (Ani) a hypocrite.
Me: Pat. -.-

Okay, don’t get me wrong. Ani is the BEST girl out there.But for some reason, Pat just doesn’t like her. I used to think it was my fault… (because sometimes when Ani logged on, I’d just desert Pat to run after Ani… and when Pat stalked me, he’d f7, and I’d leave Ani to back to hanging with Pat. O.o) Again, lemme finish.

Ani: Yeah, thanks Pat. *sarcasm* But it wasn’t my fault that he ran away from the situation instead of taking responsibility. All I asked was a simple question, and suddenly he’s (Brian’s) all “brb” and stuff. Forget that. I’m tired.
Me: *being ignored while everyone listens to Ani’s fussing* WHATCHA ASK?!?!?!
Pat: Are you sure it was him?
Ani: YES IT WAS! Drew (guildmaster) told me that Brian asked him to lower my rank!
Me: That’s what you asked?
Sammy: o.0
Ani: *still fussing* WHAT KINDA PERSON DOES THAT?!
Sammy: Wow, Brian’s a jerk.
Me: Okay, why would Drew listen to Brian? It’s DREW’s guild…
Ani: That’s the same thing I said! I asked him why he asked Drew to lower my rank, and he wouldn’t answer. I’m having a bad day now.
Sammy: *goes on myspace to comment Brian*
Ani: NO! Leave him. He’s nothing to me now.
Sammy: lol
Ani: I hate boys now.
Me: *trying to cheer her up* Psh. Be my gf then. <3333 *f3*
Ani: LMAO Sure

While having this conversation, suddenly, Brian spawns right above Ani and me. Ani f3’s and I f6 right before Brian disappears again.

Me: WHOA! He suddenly appeared right on you!
Ani: If he wants to call me a hypocrite then let him.
Me: Yeah, just forget it, drop it, burn it, ______*insert another negative verb* it.
Pat: 3
Pat: 2
Me: o_O
Ani: Wth?
Me: o.o
Ani: o.o
‘Lnuyasha have quitted the guild.’
Ani: whatFFFF

I knew things were… tense for lack of better words, but I didn’t know it was like THAT. I decided to get him in buddy chat.

Me: PAT!!!!
Me: whatFFF!!!
Me: COME BACK!! F5
Me: . . .
Me: =(

I get no answer at all. I frantically check buddy, and I let out a sigh of relief when I see that he hasn’t deleted me.

Pat: -.-
Me: DON’T You “-.-“ ME, COME BACK TO B-SQUAD!!!!
Me: =(

Once again, no answer. And for the rest of the day, he says nothing to me…

Maple Story is a MMORPG. A game. Games aren’t meant to emotionally affect its players. But right now I was emotionally affected.

(And to the n00b that’s about to say “0H 3M G33 IT’S JUST A G4M3 U nub, don’t g3t 4ll aff3ct3d by it ur such a l0s3r gosh!11121!2@@!21shiftoneone11@112”… S T F U. Just STFU. I’m not mean person at all, but for the sake of the last strands of my sanity, SHUT THE *naughty word* UP. And to the smart @ss that’s basically gonna say the same thing, except in a more literate way, and clim they’re trying to help… Don’t. Kthx.)

Pat. Is. Ignoring. Me.
I said this line aloud, IRL, just to make myself understand it. But it didn’t sound right. I said it again, but I was in denial and refused to believe that this could be the end of the “Marissa and Pat” relationship.

After Pat irnogred me, I didn’t stalk him. Suddenly, he was talking in buddy. But not to me… It was to… Brian…

And it hurt so bad. He wouldn’t say anything to me… and I couldn’t work up the courage to say a thing to him. It was too unreal… So I made up an excuse, and left maple story. (Much to Ani’s dismay. Sorry, Ani. )

And right now, as I’m typing this, I still can’t believe it. I’m afraid to log on maple story. I’m just so frightened that I’m going to log and Pat’s not going to say Hi. He’s not gonna CC to my channel. He’s not gonna show me a neat trick or tag me and run away. Even more, I’m scared that he might’ve deleted me… But would Pat do something like that?

Pat’s a big mysterious… who knows. Everytime I scroll my mouse over the maple story icon on my desktop, my heart sinks, and I push myself away from my computer.

In an attempt to calm myself down, I started rethinking all of the scenes in my head. Trying to figure out how in this whole argument, any part of it was my fault. None of it is my fault. But regardless, I’m being punished. Pat and I may never speak again… The friendship I had with Pat is being raped by an argument that I wasn’t even really a part of.

And it’s tearing me apart…

If Pat and I never speak again… I will quit. Without a second thought. I won’t even warn anyone that I’m quitting. I’ll change my pin so that not even Pat has access to my account, and I’ll never log back in. All of this will be determined by me logging in tomorrow, and if I get any feedback from Pat… I’m so afraid. But I’ve made up my mind, and I’m adamant with my choice.

Pat… I know you’ll probably never have a chance to read this… but I’m sorry. Everyone else is also sorry, I’m sure. Bombsquad just isn’t Bombsquad without you in it. I can’t stand to see you with a different guild under your name. It hurts. Please come back. D; Don’t make me beg. ‘Cause you know I will.

. . .

PLEASEPATPLEASEPLEASSEPLEASEOMGI’LLDOANYTHINGIPROMISE,JUSTSTOPIGNORINGME. I wanna be your friend again! D; I want us to play silly hide and seek games, and tag! I wanna laugh at your belly showing! I wanna make fun of you when Marissa Jr. doesn’t obey your commands! I want to hear about how you saved 250k in a deal from the FM! Please…

Please don’t let it all end because of something so simple.

~Marissa D. Lockhart

PS: I likeys are good for cheering me up.
PSS: Sorry about all the typos… THE TEARS WERE CLOUDING MY VISION. (D
PSSS: Anyone on scania care to be pestered by a lonely sin chick who may have just lost her sole reason for logging on everyday? Talk to kitxsin. Thaaaaat’s me. But if I’m not on and you still wanna talk, e-mail me at marlovesyou(at)gmail.com I don’t check my MMOTmail.
PSSSS: What does PS stand for, anyways? ._.;;;
PSSSSS: Wow, I really got a lot off of my chest now that I’ve gone back and read it… I’d never have the courage to say this to Pat. O_O

LAST PS: In February, I’m going down to New Orleans to celebrate Mardi Gras… Pat invited me to his dad’s restaurant when I come down, and we planned to meet up. TT_TT We talk about it a lot…