After reading reading my old stories,carful thinking and some support I relized something. I write stories because I love to not because i want glory so I really don’t care if you critizis me anymore I won’t care cause I love to write and I will always write!
Chapter 4: Revenge is sweet
I stepped out of the hospital door and smelled the fresh air.
It two weeks since I damaged my arm finally I can go out hunting again I though to myself. I looked down to my watch to see the time.
EIGHT-THIRTY! OH GOD I AM GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK! I shouted as I quickly run to the street.
TAXI I shouted as cars flew by. A yellow car with the sign TAXI above it stopped.
Where to? The driver asks.
Lith Harbor and step on it please I told him. The driver quickly steps on the gas and we were heading for about 100 miles per hour well at less it felt that way. Once we reached Lith Harbor I quickly got out and almost forgot to pay the driver.
HEY! The driver yelled.
Sorry I said giving him twenty dollars.
Sorry Im late I
I paused to see this place was trashed. There was a note on the counter.
It says If you ever want to see Kati again come to the bar at kerning city alone Ill be waiting. I got my bow and headed towards the street again.
TAXI I shouted. The same taxi driver came up in front of me.
Where to this time? He asked
Kerning City I told him. We flew past the three-road split and reach kerning city in a split second. I headed towards the bar. I open the door inside was dark. No one was here it was quiet to quiet. I saw a light and walked towards it wary of what might attack. The light led me to the washroom. There was a hole with a ladder in the corner. I strap the bow onto my back and jumped down the hole.
Welcome Rodney A familiar voice said.
Where is Kati? I asked.
Why shes right here The light turned on to show Jason holding onto Kati with a dagger around her neck.
Jason Why are you doing this? I asked.
Why? Why? Because you stole her from me I loved her yet you had to take her away! Jason yelled as tears dripped out of his eyes. His once calm blue eyes are now red with hatred and anger.
Jason I quietly muttered. I drew out my bow.
This is between you and me leave Kati out of this. I told him taking out an arrow out of my quiver.
Fine then Jason said as he threw Kati into side and took out his stars out of his bag.
Will be continued.
FIGHT SCENE NEXT CHAPTER YAY!!!!!!
Qft
“
Exactly, Dest.
Kiu-eff-tee.
Oh, am I one of your supports? oo I write that “commenting on fan fic” blog btw ^^
In response to the opening paragraph: Well, would you rather write and be hated for poor writing and lack of improvement or would you rather write and entertain masses of people?
This chapter was fairly good, just try to make chapters a bit longer (Most people with any taste prefer a nice 2~12 page read over two paragraphs) and be a bit more descriptive. (Examples:
“I got my bow and headed towards the street again.”
“I quickly grabbed my bow from a shelf behind the counter and ran back outside.” )
Also, work on the grammar a little (ex: “I open the door inside was dark.” should be “I opened the door, and inside it was dark.” ) and try to avoid fully omniscient characters.
(And, thanks for deleting those other blogs )
^ That man speaks truth.
“
er ok what ever
gonna go cut myself now
Do you have a problem distinguishing constructive criticism from insults?
lol dont cut urself, u’ll be emo
I wish my lawn was emo for that same exact reason.
I already am Emo
*facepalm*
Qft
facepalm? what is facepalm?
Like when you drop your face into your palm in exasperation.
That, is ‘*facepalm*’.
ahh i see
well gonna go cut myself again
I wish my lawn was emo for that same exact reason.”
Lol.
I wish my homework was asexual so it would just do itself.
I wish my lawn was emo for that same exact reason.”
Lol.
I wish my homework was asexual so it would just do itself.”
Roflmao. I never heard that one.
Uh, drink apple juice ‘cuz OJ will kill you (that’s old). :P
I wish my lawn was emo for that same exact reason.”
Lol.
I wish my homework was asexual so it would just do itself.”
Roflmao. I never heard that one.
Uh, drink apple juice ‘cuz OJ will kill you (that’s old). :P”
o.x
I don’t get it.
-sigh-
>_>
-tosses serrated razor and walks away-
If life is so fair, Why do roses have thorns?
Because your mum was a man that’s why xP
[/justkidding]