well im startin to write it im gonna im gonna
well wish me luck
my point of view aka james
“Ahh, the cool autumn breeze.” said Pete
“I couldn’t agree more.” said Crystal
“yup sis I love to stand on the edge of the cliff and look at the ocean. How bout you James?” said Denise
me (deep in thought)
“urmm James, JAMES!” shouted Denise impatiently
“sorry, I was thinking. and yes I like looking at the scenery.” said I
(all of us was standing on edge of a cliff I’m not very sure where exactly the others was training with Lucy.)
“Well, are just going to stand for the rest of the day? Come on lets go hunting.” commanded Pete.
Suddenly Amanda came running by and said in a scared voice: “Pete, Crystal, James, Denise quick hurry something dreadful has happened!”
“WHAT!” said Pete in a strong firm voice.
“I can’t explain it, but,”
crystal cut her off: ‘just take us there and tell us on the way.
While running, Amanda, (almost out of breathe,) said: ‘the others, some monster took them away I couldn’t tell what it was but it was a dark mysterious thing with a rider on it.”
“I might know who it was.” said I mysteriously (James)
omgosg its atcually this short
sry guys anyway the person who took them away is quite predictable.
hahas
:PXD
“I might know who it is” I said mysteriously.
Please check spelling. Minor mistakes make all the different. I don’t get why they are all standing on a cliff. What cliff? Cliff on perion?
Don’t always say “said blah blah blah” but try saying “blah blah blah shouted” or what ever.
Nice start to a story though. Good job with the ending by keeping the audience in tension. Please try to make it longer.
Overall great.
thanks ur the best im a bit in chinese we call it lolso it means talk a bout the same things over and over again thanks!
Im chinese too. ^_^
Wow, alot of spelling mistakes, but the rest are good
i know im so sorry. ill try better next time
Arhhhh, your series has the same name as my poem,O_o O well. . .
oh im so sorry i didn’t know im so sorry
im not the type to do copyrite but i didn’t know i never ever visited your blogs im sorry
i did all my spelling mistakes so enjoy all!