Back! From the dead! My brain is half-frozen with cold and sleepiness this chapter. o.O; Maybe it was the shiny of my new scanner that distracted me. Did I mention I got a new scanner? xD IT SHINY!

I heart all of you as my reviewers; you are what incite me to write more. Especially if you criticize me, because then I’ll know what needs to be improved upon! *gives out cookies*

I swear the characters get more OOC the more I write. >_>

EDIT: Ok, this sucks. I definitely wasn’t in a writing mood when I did this.

EDIT1: …ignore me from now on…I have a tendency to be highly self-deprecating of my own work. Most of the time, I can get very annoyed and delete an entire chapter due to small, irrelevant mistakes. I know you’re all sick of these edit notes, so…every time you see one…skim past it! It’s just there to keep me from getting too frustrated at myself and deleting it in a fit of frenzy. <_>
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i. Az
I took a breath of the fresh Lith air and spent the next few seconds trying to revive my dying nostrils, waving a hand frantically in front of my face. Someone made a disgusted noise and hissed at me, “Could you not do that in the public square?” Oh, it was Li. Wait, why was she still following me? It wasn’t like she was my pet or anything.

Maybe she was. Maybe I should buy her one of those funny hat things and a meso magnet; that would make her happy. I looked up at her and said, “Can I call you Miss Fluffles?”

“What,” she said, through the hand on her face, “Are you talking about?” I straightened up and pulled the hand off her face, warning her, “If you talk like that you’ll suffocate. I don’t want my new pet to suffocate.” She choked and sputtered for a bit; I thought for a bit to see if I could say something wise and profound. Eventually, the wise and profound words all in hiding, I settled on, “You sound like a dying Propelly.” A group of brawling rookies were being pulled apart by Viking, who was shouting at them a string of words that sounded very nasty and painful. I resolved to look them up and learn them.

“What do you mean, new pet?!” she exclaimed, and I turned in time to watch her familiar arm twitch for a while before I explained to her, “You’ve been following me around all day, just like a pet. Since you’re easy to feed, and not very obedient, but pretty loyal, you can be a bunny. And…you can be a pink bunny. Called Miss Fluffles.”
“I hate pink!” she shrieked. “I don’t know why I’m still your friend.” One of the rookies said something and Viking kicked him – ooh, that would have hurt. With a peg leg too. The kid was rolling around on the ground; I couldn’t blame him.

“Because you can’t resist my roguish charms,” I said, leaning in to give her a pinch on the cheek. She batted me away and folded her arms, scowling at me. Rejection. Pain. Pain. I put my hands over my heart and swooned; she looked concerned and grabbed me as I fell to my knees before her, asking, “What’s wrong?”

I looked at her for a moment, then I slowly grinned and yelled, “Psych!” She let go of me as if she’d been burned and growled at me, “You’re…my lord, I’m running out of names to call you!”
“I’m your lord? Why, thank you very much. Let us partake of lunch together, my dear lady.” I offered my arm to her and she opened and closed her mouth, apparently shocked by my chivalry.

However, the first words out of her mouth were, “Okay, that axe to the head definitely did something to you. You’re even more messed up than normal.”

I straightened, looking pained, and said, “Well. If you’re going to reject my offer of free lunch, be my guest.” Pained. Like that rookie guy. The paiiin.

Haha! Hook, line and sinker. She glared at me, then muttered, “Fine, free lunch.” Grudgingly, she accepted my arm, and we both walked past John, who asked us, “Hey, want to help me get flowers for my wife?” Li stopped to talk while I thought. So many people helped him get those flowers that surely his wife had to be sick of them now. Maybe they were poison violas and he was slowly killing her. Maybe John was secretly eeeeevil and he ran an evil flower shop with all the flowers that never faded while he gave us little pithy prizes like ores and screws. Maybe the money he made from his evil flower shop of doom went into buying us gloves and earrings so we would be happy to keep our mouths shut. I gave him my best suspicious look; I don’t think it worked, because he threw a fish at me. Luckily, I was a thief with awesome dodging skills. Or more precisely, I had a meat shield.

“Why do I always cop the punishment for your misdemeanours?” she growled, and I grinned and shrugged as she picked fish scales off her shadow top. That thing had had enough stuff on it to make even the appetite of the Doom Flounder cringe. Hey, the Doom Flounder. That was a thought.
“Do you serve Doom Flounder here?” I asked the waiter, who looked at me as though I’d grown a beard suddenly. I checked to make sure. Man, a lot of people were giving me those looks lately. Maybe they should get their eyes checked.
“Ignore him,” Li growled. “I’ll have a salad and a pure water.”
I interrupted with a little cry of, “Bunny!” Ignoring me, she went on, “And he’ll have a hot dog. With water. And without Doom Flounder.”

“You never let me have any fun,” I complained, propping my chin on my hands. “Aren’t you curious to find out what Doom Flounder tastes like?”
“No,” she said tersely, and I let out another sigh and slumped down on the table. Then I remembered something; looking up, I asked, “Where did we get the money from?”
“I stole it,” she said unashamedly, and I sat up and grinned at her.
“Disreputable, aren’t you?” I said, shaking my head. “From our, uh, benefactor?” She suddenly glanced left, and I followed her line of sight.

Psycho Fighter Chick and the Allamar magician.

“Speak of the Zakum,” I said softly, and Li nodded. They appeared to be talking; neither of them seemed to have noticed us. Amazingly. I’d have thought that Psycho Fighter Chick would be running at me with the ‘rog-jabbed-in-the-butt’ cry by now. They looked like they were arguing, or rather like Psycho Fighter Chick was raving at Allamar, who was just standing there with arms folded. Li kicked me under the table and vanished; I watched Psycho Fighter Chick shut up as Allamar started talking. The Fighter stiffened; I supposed Al had said something she didn’t like, then they both began walking off in opposite directions. A beginner went up to the magician, to beg or something; he got warned away, very fast, by a Fire Arrow between the eyes. Man, when I was that age, I didn’t know I could run like that.

Li materialised in the seat opposite me and I mockingly shielded myself while she glared at me. Ooh, look of death. “What did you hear?”
“Something about the Maestro guy. I didn’t hear much, a crowd of rookies got in my way.” She made a face and I sighed.
“Your food, sir, ma’am,” the waiter said, and plunked the plates down in front of us. I stared at it, then jabbed it with a fork while Li paid up.
“It looks like…” I paused reverently, and she grabbed the hot dog and shoved it in my mouth. Pained, I took it out of my mouth and said, “I was just going to say it looked like it could be roasted Doom Flounder on a stick.”
“I despise you and your warped brain,” she said, burying her face in her hands.

“I’ll go get some potions and stuff so we can continue out tomorrow, okay?” I said to Li, getting up, and she rose.
“I’m coming with you.” I watched her in amusement while she stuffed the last of the salad in her mouth, drank the water and tailed after me.
“You don’t have to follow me wherever I go, you know. Unless you really are my new pet.” She glared and me and I watched her hand go to the Steelys pouch, then go back to its normal position, quivering.
“I’m not your new pet,” she snarled. “And the last time I left you alone you got thrashed. Let’s not have a repeat of that.”
“Don’t worry,” I said airily, waving a hand. “I’m going to open up a can of kickass on them this time.” We opened the door to the potion shop and I stopped to see a familiar pink bandanna and blue set of armour.

Payback time.

Oh, the pain of clichés. But how good they felt.

“Hey, Psycho Fighter Chick,” I said, pulling out my shinkita. She turned around from a shelf of potions and her eyes widened at me. Mina was out? Good, it would mean she didn’t have to watch her shop get trashed. Hopefully, she’d be back after I was out of there and not before. More bills do not make Az happy.

Psycho Fighter Chick drew her axe and Li was going for her Steelys before I stopped her.
“If she’s here, Al’s going to be somewhere close,” I said, shoving her towards the door. “Find her and punch her till she tells us something.”
“My pleasure,” Li said, with an evil grin, then paused to look at me. “You’ll be ok?” The Fighter raised her axe and ran at me, screaming.
“I’ll do better not worrying about you,” I reprimanded, and while Li dodged aside, I Hasted myself, kicked off and flipped over Psycho Fighter Chick’s head, landing in a crouch behind her. “You’ve seen me fight before, Li! Go!” She hesitated, and I yelled again, “Go!” Psycho Fighter Chick wrenched her axe out of the wall, sending potions rattling to the floor around us, and turned to glare at me. I grinned as Li Hasted out the front door. Small, enclosed area. It meant she didn’t have much manoeuvring room; neither did I, but I was good at that.

“Hey, Psycho Fighter Chick,” I taunted, straightening. “Bite me.” She raised her hands and there was a shimmer in the air; I guessed Iron Body and grinned. Well then. I kept on Haste and grinned; guess I was on my own. Just like old times.

She ran at me, I leapt in the air as a red line of force shot through the place I’d been. Hey, that was nasty; Power Strike before I’d even gotten a chance to swipe at her! I guessed she was going to be nasty this time around…finish me off for good.

Well, she wouldn’t get the chance. As she turned, I Hasted up to her and, dodging the axe swing, elbowed her hard in the face – argh, my tennis skills! – , then used Dark Sight and vanished. She screamed, staggering backwards into a shelf of eggs and apples which fell around her like random comets. I winced. A waste of edible food. Enraged, she began a series of blind Slash Blasts, which cratered the floor with long, narrow trenches.

I narrowly avoided one, which ruined the beautiful coat of mud on my shoes I had tried so hard to create one day. My mud! I skidded around her, using a pole to perform a hundred-eighty-degree pivot, and leapt over her, kicking her in the head hard enough to faze – leaving a pretty footprint on the pink. Before she could get back to her feet, I landed behind her, went visible, and slammed the shinkita across the backs of her knees. She crumpled and fell to her side, only managing to stop herself with the axe.

Axe does not equal crutch, Psycho Fighter Chick. Nor do the ‘rog-jabbed-in-the-butt’ scream and a few random swings make a good Fighter.

Before she could stumble to her feet, I was behind her, pressing one of the cutter’s blades to her throat.
“Who’s Finesse to you?” I asked, nudging her unprotected throat with a blade. “Quick, before I slip.” She didn’t answer, just growled at me and tried to get up. I hit her on the head with the shinkita, glad she wasn’t wearing another buckethead helmet this time – my poor, abused wrists would have given out on me – and she sagged to the floor. Glancing around, I ruffled through her pockets for money, then decided to get out of the shop before Mina started demanding repayment. Besides, if Psycho Fighter Chick woke up and found her money gone before I was out of safe distance, I’d have to take emergency measures and hide from her Awesome Lungs of Death.

ii. Interlude
Mina came back into her shop, hoping that no one had come and stolen anything, and stopped dead.
“Oh,” she whispered, eyeing the cracked wood, the giant gashes in the doorframe and floor, and the unconscious fighter lying on the floor. Mina was normally a mild-mannered woman, but this…this was enough to make anyone murderous. Potion bottles spattering the floor with their contents, broken glass littering the planking, a crate of food overturned and some of the eggs still rocking forlornly. Fury rising, she rolled up her sleeves and was about to punch the Fighter awake, when a voice from the door said, “Good afternoon, Mina.”

She turned around; there was a Ranger standing there in a green Linnex and observing the fighter on the ground carefully. Still fuming, she asked, a little roughly, “Do I know you?”
“You may have met me before. But no one remembers me. Excuse me, I’m here to pick up my protégé.” He was about to take another step inwards before she stopped him with an exclamation of, “You know that Fighter? Well, you’d better pay for repairs and new stock, because she’s ruined me! I’m going to be-” He stopped and looked at her, tilting his similarly green Patriot up. She realised, with a sudden chill, that his skin had the pale blue cast of the…

She stood her ground, trembling, as he continued to stare at her, until finally, he pulled a purse out of his clothes and threw it to her. She opened it and felt her eyes widen involuntarily.
“Is that enough?” he asked, and, before she could even answer, said draconically, “Good,” and stepped over to where the unconscious Fighter lay. Mina watched, astonished, until he turned around and glanced at her. Suddenly, she had the terrible urge to be elsewhere; she hurried backstore to contact her suppliers and some repairmen.

“You failed, Deya,” he said coolly as the Fighter stirred, whimpering. “Saedas told me about your…lack of tact with this target.” The Fighter sat up and whispered, “Maestro?” When no answer came, she hurried on, “It wasn’t my fault! The Bandit, he’s fast and sneaky, and-” She fell silent when he shushed her, one finger to his cold, blue lips.
“Oh, do be quiet. I can’t have any losers in my band, dear girl. I need winners to help me, and sadly…you’re not one of them.” He leaned over while she stared at him, stunned, and as he fished out a communicator from his pocket, he smiled at her coldly and said, “Well, your time with us is over.”

iii. Li
I had just arrived at the door of their safe house when Az came running up to me, panting. I looked him over quickly. He didn’t seem too bashed up, so I guessed he had gotten over the shock of Essy’s name and kicked the Fighter’s ass good and proper.
“I couldn’t find Al, but I’m guessing she’ll have come back here,” I said, drawing my Steelys. She’d gotten the door repaired for a better one, I hadn’t noticed that. Didn’t matter. It was going to get smashed as well.
“Shall we?” he asked, nodding at the door. I grinned evilly.
“Only if I get the first punch,” I answered, waving my fist. He grinned back and nodded, saying, “Hey, I don’t hit ladies. Excepting Psycho Fighter Chicks.”

Together, we kicked in the door. It fell with an ominous thump onto bare stone. What had happened to the carpets? Cautiously, I stepped in, arming my claw, and gaped. Az entered after me, and, taking a long look around, said, “I don’t think you’re going to be able to get to punch her this time round.”

The place was clean. Clear. No carpets, no pictures, no sculptures, not even a stick of furniture. Allamar had run out, and cleaned up the place after her.