“GHASGHSAKJDEHSHDUSFURRURURGERRADDAMAHGARDENYAHBUNCHAHOEBAGSARHFASDFHAFHSDLFJHSD”

“…? Did you hear that?”

“Yeah, I’m scared, hold me! I think it was a hobo!”

Nipples approaches the bush. As he does he can hear a man and a woman cowering, or at least making cowering noises. Or at least he thinks they’re cowering noises. Nipples steps over the bush to find the couple hunched together clinging to a giant golden idol. Nipples is stunned. The most valuable thing he’d ever seen was a chocolate cream. Not the chocolate.

“Quick, while he’s standing there like a retard, GIVE IT TO ME.”

“Alright. Here!”

“FASTER, FASTER.”

“Christ woman, keep it down!”

The couple flee. Alas, in their haste, they had dropped a piece of paper with writing upon it! God bless paper! After Nipples realises he’s urinated himself after being brought back into reality by the smell, he notices the small piece of parchment.

“gribbsfasll?”

The parchment is a map, leading to 8 locations. He was standing in one of them.
Nipples’ destiny was about to give him a smack on the face with a cold, wet fish. No chips.

There are seven points left in the map. North, East, South east, South, South west, West, North west. Nipples must choose which path to choose. An encounter with that couple would be wise as they already have one of the valuable golden idols.

Which way does Toastie go first?

A) N
B) E
C) SE
D) S
E) SW
F) W
G) NW

Was cut for time during this; I’ll try my best to add to it later.