It was…Aqvarius…
I can’t believe my eyes, it’s really him…
Emotions were storming out from my little heart, I was happy and sad at the same time, I couldn’t decide which emotion I wanted to stick with. I couldn’t believe my eyes, It was too good to be true. Why is he here?!
“er…you look really pale. You want to sit over there at the bench?” He looked really concerned. Maybe I looked really ugly right now and he’s freaked out.
I nodded.
“Here, take this.” He said as he gave me a Bazlud. “It’s from my father, he was a brave bandit that loved his own family alot but…” he stopped and looked at the sky. “He gave this to me when I was really young before he left.” He smiled. “I used to be a coward, I had alot of nightmares about what happened to my father. The Bazlud is what keeps me sane from these nightmares,” and he laughed.
“It’s really important to you, why are you giving it to me?” I was waiting for him to tell me something unexpectable..still waiting.
He looked at me and said, “You will find use in it later and its to protect you.”
I looked away. I can’t look him in the eye, I cannot continue liking him, he has a gorgeous fiance, I cannot..
“SO! HOW’S LIFE?!” I had to break the ice. It was becoming awkward between the two of us even if nothing happened.
“Let’s bet,” he suggested in a playful way. “If you can use an asianic on your birthday, I’ll treat you to Elma’s Strawberry Cheesecake!”
“Oh my gosh, are you serious?! The one in orbis?!” Excited, it was the most wanted desserts because it was really rare.
“Yes. If you can’t fulfill it, you have to go on a dragon hunt with me. ” He smiled.
“Deal!” I said in excitement. “Wait a sec. Did you say ASIANIC?! and ON my birthday!?” I’m screwed, my birthday was coming in a few weeks and I’m still using a red viper.
He gave me a so called *evil smile*. “Hehe, yes and you’re screwed.”
“You cheater!” I said as I chased him around Henesys Park.
—————————————————————-
We were both exhausted when we stopped chasing each other and we lay down on the field looking at stars.
I gathered up all my courage and asked, “so, how did you meet Yuna?”
“She’s my childhood friend. She’s not my fiance, she just thinks she is.” He answered while chewing on an apple.
Concerned, I didn’t care if I was getting annoying, I asked again,”but she has a crush ring and you…”
I was cut off as a saw a skull ring coloured in pink. I bursted out laughing, I was relieved. I saw the wrong thing! He wasn’t wearing a crush ring! Only Yuna was.
“ya..not funny” he continued munching on the apple, “she coloured it pink and she asks me to wear it when we’re together.”
In tears, I could barely talk properly. “You’re so fwunneee.”
……………………………………………….
After awhile, we lay in silence watching the stars.
“Aqvarius” I wanted to know, if I had a chance with him or not.
“hm?” He said.
“Am I good enough?” I asked.
He looked at me and I continued – “for you?”
“I don’t..” he seemed lost.
“hahaha, I was just joking. I know it’s impossible” I forced a laugh. My heart hurted once again. It felt as if it was going to explode and shatter into a million pieces.
I stood up and was getting ready to go.
“wait!” he called for me. “I know what you mean, but I’m not really sure, can I think about it?”
I looked at him and nodded.
I DO stand a chance! He didn’t reject me yet!
Both of us didn’t notice that someone was watching…………someone was watching us all along….
*dun dun dun* THANK YOU DARKWAR4EVER for giving me feedback and suggestions!! I <3 Feedbacks. and I <3 Aqvarius even if he hardly goes on because he made soo many other accounts..T______T..but ya…WHO DO YOU THINK IS SCRUTINIZING THIS PAIR OF SHALLOW TEENS?! @___@ If you get the answer and you’re in Broa..you get a pwize *bribes* XD just kidding..just guess…XD
Not bad Dx Keep writing ^^
Hee hee, I love the blogs so for! :3 A little problems here and there, but hey, you can work on that ^^
There are the small grammar mistakes, but hey, at least I can read your blogs XD So don’t worry too much. There’s a bit lack of detail and the blogs are short, so it might be good to describe each action.
It does seem a little shallow and cliche though. I would suggest emphasizing the character’s personalities. You’ve given each of them personalities, and I can tell, but you don’t show it enough in their actions and thoughts and speaking patterns. Like, for instance, I didn’t think that Melanie and Aqvarius would be the type to run around in the Henesys park and lay on the grass.
A tip would be. . . You pointed out in the first couple chapters that Melanie really wanted to just explore the world rather than have a boyfriend. Is there a way that you can make her stick out that way?
Just try to make your characters special- Don’t let Melanie become a shallow, one minded Mary Sue.
I’ll keep reading! ^_^ <3
thank you thank you *bows*
Sorry to bump this, but it’s great! Make MOOORE!