Hostilities Revisited

Hostilities Revisited
Chapter One: Sacrifice

<><><><><><><><> Prologue <><><><><><><><><>

Sel and Amy were two rogues who ran away from Kerning City as infants, due to disgrace for their
father’s death. Their father, Ace, was ordered to behead the King of Perion, “Dances with Balrog”. In the end,
Ace could not do it, and in shame, commited suicide. The Thief Lord was aggravated, and sentenced Ace’s children
to death. Sel and Amy were both at the age of 4 when all this occured. They both ran away the night before
their sentenced death.

Sel and Amy are currently being hunted down by the Magician Forces in Ellinia, the Pahsen Bandits
from Kerning, and the Leu Navy from Henesys. Their only hope of survival, is to search for their mother,
who was last seen at the depths of El Nath for unknown reasons…

* * *

“If only if only.. I could sing one more song.. I have yearned freedom, for much too long…”

“Quit it Amy, you know that song annoys me.” Sel said.

Amy looked at Sel, and starred back at the ground.

“I’m sorry.”

Sel and Amy were lost in the forests of Ellinia, and Amy was sitting against a large tree, while Sel
was lying down, starring at the skies. Sel’s Steel Gaurds rest beside Sel, as he begin to tie his Shuriken
Holdster firmly to his right thigh. Amy puts on her Bronze Gaurds, and gets up.

“Sel, I have a suggestion to make.. Why don’t we settle down tonight in a tree? The Lupins will probably
go away once we enter… And we haven’t eaten anything for days… We should probably get something to
fill our stomachs as well… “

Sel got up, and dusted the dirt off his knees. Turning around to face Amy, he gave a reply,

“Yeah I know. Lets get walking.”

Suddenly, the patch of dirt right next to Amy explodes, and she shrieks. Amy takes several steps back.
Sel looks up, and he sees a dark figure perched on a tree. Sel squints and tries to make out who the mysterious
attacker can be.

“Well who do we have here…” a cold voice spoke. “Ace’s brats from Kerning. I was told to kill you guys if I ever
saw you… There’s a high price on your heads… You know that?”

Amy was now behind Sel’s back, and she whispered,

“Who is that guy Sel?”

“Most likely from the Mage Force. He probably tracked us down from the Department in Ellinia. I saw him there giving us a weird look. Our disguises were probably bad.”

“What you guys talking about over there? Don’t feel like talking? Well I guess I’ll go first. The name’s Tae. I’ll be the one bringing in your heads to the Thief Lord soon. And what a mighty fine reward I’ll get for solving his troubles. Well?
Still don’t feel like talkin’? OKAY THEN!”

Tae quickly withdrew a small staff from his back and waved it. A blue concentrated ball of energy flew at Sel at a high velocity. Sel reacted quickly, and jumped out of the way. But he realized Amy was right behind him the moment he jumped.

“AMY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

The blue energy exploded on contact, and Amy was sent flying. Her back made contact with a tree, and she gave a gasp of pain as she hit the ground. She was knocked out cold.

“Damn.. You idiot..” Sel growled, as he took out his Tobis and charged them. He threw them precisely at the mage, who transmitted out of the way in time. “Teleportation…” Sel said, ”Crud… He’s good.”

Tae appeared right in front of Sel the next moment, and melee’d Sel with his staff right into his stomach.
“Guh!” Sel said, as he fell to the ground. “You… Ass.. Get.. Away.. FROM ME!” Sel threw a Tobi right towards Tae’s
face, who apparently teleported again out of the way.
Sel was beginning to faint, and as his eyes closed he saw Amy on the ground, blood on her face.

“Amy…”

4 thoughts on “Hostilities Revisited”

  1. Take note my criticisms aren’t meant to deter you from writing, they’re meant to help point out what you need to work on.

    Point #1: You have some issues where the things that happen in the plot are not believable. Ace could not bear to think of the idea of execution, so he goes and commits suicide? Hmm. Then, his children, four years old, decide that the prospect of being ordered to death in retaliation of their father’s cowardice is fearsome, so they plan to run away and become fugitives? When I was four, I would never have been capable of deducing that.

    Point #2: Weird line breaks
    in the middle of sentences. No-no.

    Point #3: Grammar inconsistencies, some common mistakes here and there, and your tense is inconsistent, it seems Amy does things in present tense while everything else happens in past.

  2. nice AznRiceFan, useful criticisms! ; I can’t point out criticisms well Anyways, nice story.

  3. Wow at the age of 4 they ran away? At the age of 4 I was still sucking on bottles filled with milk. Yes I know I’m a disgrace. But yeah you should take the advice from AznRiceFan.

  4. Ahhh pardon me. I must have not been clear enough. Totally my fault, but
    what I meant to express was that they were told that they were going to be
    killed. Extremely sorry.

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