Wait here Jake whispered into my ears, I looked into him, seeing such anger and determination together not to mention frustration. I nodded.
He started to run up to the three guys, on the way, its like he clapped his hands together, and pulled them apart, revealing that beautiful and powerful thorns.
He suddenly threw up something that looked like a piece in his training room. Ahhh, yes, the magic rock. It suddenly shattered like into a million pieces, then, from behind his back, it was like he summoned an angel!
He raised his thorns into the air, and the angel behind him clapped her hands together, and froze those 3 thiefs.
He then teleports back to me and puts his arm around me. I just blinked.
That was fast. I mumbled, he smiled at me.
I think were finished here. Jake said to the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord took a deep breath.
For now you are! He shouted, then he disappeared.
Cmon, lets go, theres somewhere I want to take you. He grabbed my hand and leaded me off.
When we finally managed to get out of that Dark Tunnel, I saw many dark trees.
Jake grabbed something from his pocket, it was like a small map. He looked at me, I dont know why, but he kept smiling at me. Then, I could suddenly feel my body grow lighter.
My head started to hurt, it started to spin and spin. I felt so dizzy, then suddenly, I was in mid air, because I could even realise where I was, I started falling. Falling from the sky.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I screamed, throwing my arms frantically around.
For what seemed like ages, I fell on some wooden log, and fell back onto a sail. Could this be where my journey began? I looked around, I wasnt so certain, so I reached into my pocket for the world map. Blinking twice, and making sure, I looked at the compass, then I was certain, Yes, I was at Victoria Island.
Jake??, J-Jake? Where are you? I asked, look around, spinning into a circle.
I should first, get off this ship
I jumped off, and looked around.
GOTCHA! A voice from behind my back said and wrapped their hands around my eyes.
Who is it?!??!?! I said, terrified
haha, me he said.
oh Jake, You scared me! I turned around, laughing.
Come! Come He grabbed my hand, and lead me to another ship.
This strong looking guy blocked our way
Where do you think youre going? He asked
Jake flashed a card in front of his face
oh, sorry, here He said
Jake lead me onto the ship, and we soon flew off.
Where are we going? I asked, looking outside, admiring the wonderful view from up high. Jake didnt answer my question, instead, just asked me to wait.
I heard the Tooting of the ship, and figured that we were there. I was in such awe, this place was so beautiful. I could hear the wind gently blowing, while hearing the soft crashes of the waves. I could see those orange lorangs scurrying back into their holes, even felt one tickling me on my feet. I smelt the cleanness of the ocean, of the sea. The smell of nature it was!
Suddenly, I snapped out of my little daydream when Jake came, and brought me ice-cream sundaes!! In my favourite flavour, strawberry.
Thank you I smiled.
Its not a problem, but, well, this is really hard for me to say this, but- Jake scratched his neck.
Yes? Whats the matter? I asked
Well, I dont know how to start this, I mean, Youre just a really sweet girl, and I , I, I want to be with you. Will you go out with me? Jake finally managed to say.
I was shocked, no, but sad shocked, but excited shocked. I was just about to say YES YES, OFCOURSE, but we were once again, interrupted.
The ground trembled at the huge roar of a warrior. A dark knight to be specific.
Ha ha, think youll leave me out on this? The warrior laughed
ahhh, my good friend, what brings you here? Jake laughed
Is this the girl youve been telling me about? He asked
yes, this is Sasha, Sasha, this is my best mate Timmy, people just call him Tim. Jake introduced us two. I slightly blushed.
Hey Tim, its nice to meet you. I smiled, and Tim and I shook hands.
Now, disappear Tim, Sasha was just about to answer an important question of mine Jake laughed
Oh, really, its okay if Tim stays. I smiled and to answer your question, ofcourse Ill go out with you.
I smiled.
Actually, going out with Jake wasnt as I had planned. It was different, I mean, the first difference was that Tim was there. Not that it mattered, I like Tim, as a friend ofcourse. We just went to see a movie, and he offered to pay for lunch. I wanted it to be more romantic, but ahhh well, cant get everything I wanted. TT
Wow, its getting dark, should we go home? I asked while I leaned on Jakes shoulder.
Ofcourse he said, he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.
Well, I should get going then! Tim said, and ran off.
Cyaz Jake said, and I just waved.
As we walked back, he held my hand, suddenly, an eagle, no wait, an owl, or was it just a small bird. Anyways, it came, and suddenly dropped a letter. Jake picked it up, it said.
Jake, please proceed to Magic Academy on the next ship tomorrow morning, something bad has happened.
We both looked at head other, Really, I was more worried than him.
Want to come with me, or you want to stay here? He asked, its safer to stay here He added
Dont think you can ditch me! I pinched his nose Im definitely going with you I smiled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This one’s probably my favourite, don’t ask me why. lol, anyways, hope you have enjoyed it!!
you. . . have . . . . to. . . . get. . . . the. . . next. . . chappy . . in. . . . SOON. ASAP. But, I’m glad to see improvement in tense, still some minor mistakes though. Loving the story.~
Umm you already submitted chappi 5 XD
I’m guessing Shatred will be here to flame you. . .
I bet my. . .ICE CREAM STICKS! 10 OF THEM!
I bet my. . .ICE CREAM STICKS! 10 OF THEM!”
Haha, I would do the grammar thing again, but since none of my suggestions show up in the next chapter. . .nah. Plus i have da tummy flu. T_T
There is still trouble with tenses.
This reminds me of Harry Potter in some ways
You’re improving, I’ll say that
If you compare this to the first chapii, you’ve rlly made differences in your grammar and tenses.
Keep it up
__<3Rain
@everyone: This is my story, Shatred, I can’t keep changing it when I don’t know what to change. Writing is harder than I thought, I admit, but sometimes, some compliments like rain would be nice you know.
Shatred try not to criticise so much; authors respect their work a lot and even the smallest of flames could hurt someone’s feelings. The story is not really THAT bad to begin with; I do find the storyline quite engaging. Anyway although no one has commented on that yet; this storyline plot may seem a bit of a cliché, bout the heroic scenes and stuff, but at least its the simple and nice ones that people like XD.
The original and simple plot of ‘Winners and Losers’ I had originally drafted was mutated so much by me in attempt to add twists that I don’t even know where the story is heading anymore. Or at least I didn’t know, now I know its heading nowhere.