Part 2:

The Stray Dog

Chapter 8

“What you gain from those you lost, you’ve gain nothing at all.”

What had happened between Amana and me was just a strange introduction.

Like any man at my age, at the time, would have completely fallen for an older woman like her; even though she was engaged to someone whom she never once mentioned. And like any man at my age, I fell for her charms and her slick ways of being a woman, who always got whatever she wanted.

You could say, at that time, that she and I shared a strange S&M type of love. She would send me to do things for her, and like a sick dog, I executed whatever she desired to be done, and retrieved whatever she had lusted for. This, of course, never really helped me in what I wanted to do. And for a moment, I forgot what I wanted to do for a long time because I was entangled with other things that weren’t generally in my interest.

Of course this wasn’t the type of love that would have me in her bed whenever she felt lonely late at night nor was it the type of love that actually make her my Master, and I her slave. It was some sort of twisted love with limitations and bounds because of her unfaithfulness to a rich Priest whom she was engaged to for some time.

Months have completely gone by, it was about the time of winter, where the snow fell from the sky and everything became cold with harsh winds. Of course I was nowhere near the North (El Nath) during that time.
In those months, I’ve come across a young cleric by the name of Tenan. Who, at that time, was young, full of life and ambition, the look of determination sparkled in his eyes as he held a woman on each arm. He was a young letch and somewhat of a pro at it.

I approached the young cleric as he, and the two other girls, who one appeared to be a warrior and the other woman was an archer, tried to make there way into a quest for the young, beautiful, woman who usually hung in front of the sewers. I approached him as he was laughing and smiling amongst the other members of his party. I tapped him on the shoulders lightly and he quickly turned to face me. He turned his head to the left then to the right, mocking me of my height at the time. He then looked down and smiled commenting, or better yet, insulting me of my height and wondered what a child like myself was doing in a ‘grown-up’ city like this. As powerless and weak as I was then, I didn’t bother taking a power swing against him, after all he would have just healed himself and go about his business.

“I need your help, cleric” I asked him, in somewhat of a timid voice. My voice spoke that of a small and fragile child.
“Aww… little boy” the cleric said as he pushed one of the tramps off his arm, “are you lost or something? Did you pet die and you want me to revive it?” he said in a sarcastic tone.
“No…” I said.

Before I could explain the situation, he proclaimed that he was to busy for a beggar like myself and he then turned his back and continued to flirt with the other girls who where with him. I gripped my hand tightly onto his shoulder and turned him around to face me and asked of him, “I need you to look after a girl for me.”
The cleric’s eyebrow’s perked with interested and asked, “a girl you say?”
“Yes, but I need to know your name first.” I asked of him.
“Why do you need to know my name?” he asked.

“Because this girl is special to me, and I need someone, in the wizard, and or mage category to look after her.” I explained.
“But why me?” he asked, “After all, there are so many other people in this world, who are mages and much stronger than I am, who could look after this girl of yours.”
“True,” I said with a small pause, “but they all want money, and I’m not made out of money, however, I’m willing to pay 120k a month for her care and training. I cannot train her to provide for her because I have my own training to do, in time, I’ll repay you back.”

“I see.” He said with some thought, “Seeing that I’m such a kind and generous person, I’ll help you out.”
“Really?” I asked him.
“Sure… why not? Now… where is this little girl?” he asked.
“She’s in Ellinia training at the moment. She’s in need of help so go quickly” I said to him, “But before you go, what’s your name?” I asked him.

“Tenan.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a green scroll and used it. And within that second he vanished.

What I’ve done was probably not the smartest thing; however I needed her to get out of my mind for a while, even if it was connecting the pathetic cleric with, what was now, my forgotten girlfriend.

As I walked back to the bar, where Amana and her friends where, I received a text message from Tenan, himself. He wanted to be added onto my buddy list to keep in contact and also he wanted to be paid upfront with the money for this month.

Of course I had the money; it was never an issue of money. It was an issue of trying to keep up with her and her innocence and her childish ways. It wasn’t because I hated her, it was because I couldn’t be with her, which caused so much problems. Our world, the one we knew since we where on the island, split into two, and it’s only best if she would just stay with someone who could actually help and train her instead of just rushing her, pushing her, and over-working her.

I never honestly told her of my feelings nor did she reveal hers to me. It was just a plain and simple relationship. A friendship if one might say so. I never really said I loved her, just called her a few simple French pet names. And she would always blush and smile, knowing nothing of what each name meant. It was as though she just went along with everything trying to make everything easier, or perhaps she really did know. Either case, we weren’t official, but we were in each other’s company. Supporting one another. ‘Loving’ one another.

All that will soon change.

As I entered the bar, Amana and her friends had already left to do whatever it was to do. I took a seat near the bar and tried to locate Aaru. Little did I know, they, Aaru and Tenan, have become quite close, friendship wise I’d hoped.
It’s best this way
I turned off my communicator and sighed, resting my head on the counter of the bar. I closed my eyes, feeling an urge to cry. To cry for reasons unknown.

Funny, how the son of a Chief Bandit cries over said love. It didn’t matter though; it was something I wanted for a long time that neither my mother, my brother, nor my father gave me. It was something, although sick and demented (S&M), which Amana and I shared together. Something completely opposite of what I truly want out of Aaru.

Aaru and I are young, and I love her. I also love Amana. Amana abuses my kindness, and Aaru would mostly fall for Tenan. And what would Tenan do. Only God knows.

What am I gonna do?

Suddenly, I felt a soft delicate hand caress the side of my face. Inside I wanted to be Aaru more than anyone in the world. However, I knew it wasn’t her. I kept my eyes close as this person lightly whispered in my ear to get up. The fingers of the mysterious person felt cold yet soft to the touch. Its fingertips softly gliding down the side of my jaw-line, onto my neck, and my slightly exposed collar bone.

“You still cry for no reason at all.”
“I cry for a reason”
“What reason?”
“Love.”
“Love always hurts… Does it hurt?”
“Yes, it hurts… it hurts so much”
“Then make the pain go away.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I want this feeling to remain… this is what true love is.”
“Then love her.”
“I can’t”
“Then you’ve lost her forever. And when the both of you meet, it will be as though you both have never met. You’ll be in your own world and she’ll be in her. And everything what happened since you both first met until now will be an illusion. Everything will be as though nothing happened.”
“I don’t believe it’ll happen that way. She’ll have her own world, and I’ll be apart of it, like a shadow.”
“Is that how you want to live from now on in her heart?”
“Yes…”
“Then wake up.”
“No… just a few minutes longer… let me dream. Let me linger a little longer with this feeling.”
“Wake up.”

“… Wake up my dear.” I hear Amana’s voice as I woke up from my slumber. “Huh?” I said as I lifted my head sluggishly off the counter.
“Oh! Good you’re awake.” Amana said, planting a kiss on my lips.
“What’s the job this time?” I asked her.
“What do you mean?” she wanted to know.
“You kiss me every time you want something, so I might as well ask what it is now.” I said to her as I looked at the bartender asking for a drink.
“Ah! So you’ve caught on! Great!!” she said, “Well, to tell you the truth there is no real job, however you get promoted from Slave to Duke in the guild, isn’t that great my dear?!” she said with excitement.

I shrugged the supposed good news off and sighed a bit taking the drink that the bartender’s place before me moments sooner. “Don’t you care?” She asked.
“Not really.” I said to her drinking the drink in one shot.
“Well anyway, you have a job to do.” She said in a somewhat angry tone of voice.
“Thought you said there was no job.” I looked at her with a nonchalant attitude.
“Well, I lied…”
“Everybody lies, mon cheri” I interrupted her as I signal the bartender for another drink.
“Well, everyone knows everybody lies… but that’s not the case. I have a job for you. So please do it! And do it quickly, you are taking me out for dinner tonight!”
“Can’t your fiancé take you?” I asked.
“No, he can’t he’s too busy training to notice that I’m having an affair with him.”

I quickly drank my drink in one shot and rose from my seat. “Well, I guess I’ll be going…”
“Wait! Don’t you want to know the type of job I want you to do?” she asked.
I looked at her and sighed slightly. “Sure… why not?”
“Sure, why not!?” She repeated, “What has gotten into you!? You sound so EMO and it’s starting to bug me. Did someone die that you love or what!?”
“You could say that, now stop bugging me about the damn thing and tell me about the damn job!” I shouted at her.
“HEY! You watch it kid, I own you, you are my b*tch and don’t you forget it. Now your job is to bring me a man who calls himself Sunbrain.” She said.

“Sunbrain huh?” I asked her.
“Yeah, now as your new position of being Duke you have to recruit whoever I think is proper for the guild. And I think Sunbrain is proper for the guild.”
“… what kind of name is ‘Sunbrain’?” I asked.
“Are you listening to what I’m saying?!” She shouted.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, find some kid by the name of Sunbrain, right?”
“Yeah, good, so you it’s a teen and one hell of a hard headed and mal-tempered child.”
“And you want him in the guild?”
“Hey! The guild’s name lives up to the reputation!”
“Asylum… I should have known.” I sighed.
“You think its bad don’t you?” she asked.
“No, I think it’s corny.” I said as I walked out of the bar.
“Who cares of what you think, my dear… you’re just mine and mine alone!”
“Right…”

The voices… the voices in my head… the voices of my mother… the cold fingers, the cold worlds… not doubt it was her…

I had snuck away into a hidden corner of Henesys, supposedly looking for this mal-tempered kid by the name of ‘Sunbrain’. I took a small section of hidden land to myself, in a fort near the only taxi stop in town. There I lay wondering why my mother, of all the dead people in my life, was talking to me in my sleep, touching me with her dead fridge fingers.

What did she want from me?
Why couldn’t she just burn in hell like my father?

I lay on the grass and I placed my hands on the back of my head for comfort. I placed my bamboo hat over my face and shut my eyes, giving a small yawn.

That was a day that simplistic and quiet. The sun shone brightly in the bright blue skies and clouds slowly drifted by without a care in the world. The light breeze filled the air with the aroma of flowers. The butterflies fluttered by to a flower and the birds just flew in the sky heading towards the beach near Lith Harbor. It was simple days like this that Aaru, Skythe, and I enjoyed. Days that we just all laid down and sleep on the grass back on the island. But those days are over since I’m just here by myself, in Henesys, and Aaru is probably training her ass off. And Skythe… my good friend Skythe is most like the strongest and the richest out of all of us.

I haven’t even bothered to talk to him in such a long time. I wouldn’t be surprise of Skythe thought I was dead.

I am not afraid… of dying alone.

“Slacking… You are always slacking” a voice shouted loudly. Suddenly I was kicked on my side. “Ah! Damn it… woman!” I shouted in return and yanked the bamboo hat from the front of my face and quickly yanked the person who kicked me on my side and looked up.

“Oh” we said at the same time. I gently loosened my grip from the young girl’s ankle and slowly sat up, rubbing the side of my torso lightly. “I’m so so sorry! I thought you were my twin brother! Are you ok? I’m so sorry for kicking you!” she said in a worried tone, kneeling next to me trying to examine the area where she kicked me. “It’s ok” I said calmly.
“Where does it hurt?” she wanted to know.
“It doesn’t hurt… you just scared me out of my sleep” I explained to her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she repeated for the third time.
“No it’s all right, really. Don’t worry about it.” I assured her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really” I said.
“Oh ok, I’m sorry. I thought you were my brother he’s usually here napping trying to make me train all by myself!” she said.
“Aren’t you supposed to train by yourself?” I asked.
“No… he promised he’d help me train a few levels until I can do all the training on my own when I get to my 2nd job advancement.” She said, “by the way, I’m Heart, and you are?” she asked as she presented her hand for me to shake. Like most common greetings and introductions.

I took her hand into my own and softly gave a shake trying not to hurt her with my rugged hands. On the contrary, she gave a tight business-like handshake that slightly made my hand hurt. “Ah! That’s quite a grip!” I said to her, “And I’m Rouge.”

She gave me a deep stare, as though she was trying to remember who I was. “Rogue huh?” she asked. “My brother told me so much about you.” I blinked trying to comprehend what she was trying to say. “Your… brother?” I asked in a confused tone. “Yeah my brother, he dresses like a common thug, trying to skimp out of his archer uniform. He said it makes him look like a queer.” She said with a giggle.

“Heart!” a sharp-tone yelled from behind me.
“Oh brother, there you are!” she said as she got up from my side and walked over to the person behind me. I turned my head slightly to the side and saw that it was Skythe standing behind me. Who knew he had a little sister that he was looking after?
“What are you doing here? I told you to meet me on the other side of Henesys.” He said to her.
“Oh! I forgot. I thought you wanted me to meet you here so yeah. And I thought he was you so I accidentally kicked him because he kind of like dresses like you.” She explained to him.
“Oh geez, kid, I told you to stop kicking people while they’re napping. They’re gonna grab ya foot and practically rip it off. Especially a small fry like you.” He said with a grin. I turned my head back and put my bamboo hat back on. I rose from the ground, where I napped and stood there, brushing off the stray strands of grass blades from my back and arms.

“Well, he almost snapped my ankle.” She said.
“HE WHAT?!?!” he shouted.

Skythe pushed his little sister to the side and approached me, my back turned to him. He slammed his hand onto me shoulder and spun me around and knocked my bamboo hat off. I looked at him in the eye with a calm look on my face. “You touched my little sister… now I’m gonna have to kick your ass.” He said angrily as he jacked me from the collar of my shirt with one hand while the other hand cocked back into a fist ready to pound my face.

“BROTHER!!! DON’T!!” Heart shouted from behind him. She ran over to him and held back his arm, “please let him go, brother… I made a friend and he’s kind. I even know his name. It’s Rogue.” She said.

“Rogue!?! THEEE Rogue???” he asked. Skythe took a second look at my face and smiled a thick smile, those ‘I haven’t seen you in years’ type of smile. He then dropped me onto the ground. “What kind of a friend are you? You don’t call or write me, what the hell man?” he said as he and his sister stepped back a bit to give me room to breathe. “If she hadn’t told me who you where in time, I would have spread your face all over this field. What brings you to Henesys anyway?” he asked.

I don’t really know… to tell you the truth

“To get away from the norm. You?” I asked, not really thinking of what I just asked him.
“Why are you asking an Archer, like myself, that question? Dude I live and work here.” He said with a little chuckle after.
“Oh right… right. Wasn’t thinking right, I’m just tired.” I said
“Nah, I think you’re just dumb.” He said sarcastically.
“Meh.”

“So…” he said trying to engage me in a different conversation, “How’s Aaru, how’s she doing?” he wanted to know. To be honest, I wouldn’t know how she was doing, since I haven’t spoken or seen her in the last few months. I often wondered that myself, ‘how is she doing?’
“Well?” he asked in an impatient tone.
“She’s all right. She’s just training her little heart out and become strong.” I lied to him. I wouldn’t know if he thought I was lying to him or not. He looked at me with a certain look that, even to this day, was hard to describe.

Skythe’s eyes just seemed to look right through me, like a sheet of glass that stood before him. His crystal green eyes slightly shimmered with what appeared to hope but the stare he gave me was a cold hearted stare. It was a type of stare that pierced me in the chest; it pierced my heart with a sharp dagger cold dagger. His facial expression was somewhat blank yet you could visibly see the anger on his face. I would have never admitted this to him, not even now, but his stare intimidated me.

As an ordinary man would never judge a man upon his look alone; his face appeared to be a face that of a girl’s. His ice cold stare just made him look more like a girl than anything, and at that moment I thought he was beautiful.

“I see.” He said calmly. He looked down a moment, slightly shifting his head towards his little sister who stood next to him. He gently wrapped an around her shoulders and held her close to him, somewhat of a one-sided hug. “Are you and Aaru dating each other now?” he asked me. At that moment I couldn’t muster up the words to tell him, and obviously I couldn’t tell him the truth that I’ve just let a complete stranger be with Aaru. But I know deep down that she could take care of herself, or so I thought.

I had no choice; I guess I just have to lie once more.

“Nah, we’re not together. I haven’t seen her since she became a magician.” I said to him. At that moment, I wasn’t lying to him at all. I haven’t seen her since I left her in Ellinia all by herself. I know that I shouldn’t have done such a thing, but I had no choice. I had my reasons for leaving her.

Ever since I’ve met her, I’ve lied to her about my parents, who I am, my name, just everything. But my feelings of her remained true. I guess that I’ve strayed away from my true self. However, I fear that exposing myself to her will only cause her to fear me, and that is something that I wish not to happen. In all honestly, I have no choice but keep continuing lying to her until I find away to detach my heart from hers, even if it means dying.

“Hmm… I see.” He said in a slight disappointed tone, “Come on Heart, we have to go ahead a train.” He said as he started to walk towards the nearest town.
“Oh… ok.” She said softly, holding onto her brother’s arm as they walked.

They both walked passed me, and again he gave that cold-hearted stare. He knew I was lying, he knew I abandoned Aaru, and he knew that I couldn’t admit it to him. It was as though he knew what I was thinking.
It felt like everything went in slow motion as they walked passed me. I didn’t move my head, and just remained there, standing still and looking down slightly at the ground. He didn’t turn his head to my direct either; it was as though I wasn’t visible to him. However, I saw his little sister, from the corner of my eye, looking right at me. Her large crystal blue eyes glistened as she looked at me. Then suddenly she closed her eyes and turned her head away from me. Her expression felt as though she was disappointed at me, or that she pitied me.

As Skythe placed a hand on my shoulder as he walked passed me with his little sister in his other arm. He didn’t face me, nor did I face him. He moved his mouth but no words came from it. I felt something inside me fall into the pit of my stomach. I felt intimidated; I didn’t know why. It was as though he saw right through me and read my thoughts on what happened between me and Aaru. It felt as though he knew. He knew that I abandoned Aaru. I swallowed the fear that rose in me, which was the same fear that I felt back at home. That thing which rose from my closet in the dark. That so-called king of Darkness. The Demon with the red eyes. That very demon that’s dormant within me.

“If you’re lying, I will f*ck you up, ya dig?”

If it wasn’t obvious to the world now, I knew that he loved Aaru just as much as I did. And he would have given her the world, his world. Something that I knew I couldn’t be able to give to her. If she were to stay with me, any longer, I would have killed her by my foolish acts. If she were to stay, she would have known my true pass and she would have known that I lied to her to make her feel safe. To make her happy; she would have left me. I had no choice.

I had no choice.

~R