One day a Cleric and a fighter was walking to Ellinia 2 Sins jumped in front of them and they asked for 10k to get inside to get to Orbis but they refused and walked so the sins threw a wolbi in front of them to stop them. The cleric turned around and did holy arrow and magic claw at a sin then the fighter ran at them and did Final Attack. The sins did Haste and ran but one of the clerics were hurt badly so was knocked out cold. They decided to rob him and got a Maple Kandayo, Jurgen Wristguard, Dark Shadow, Dark Shadow Pants, Dark Pilfer, Black Blue-Lined Shoes, Dark Cleave, and an Icarus Cape(3). They ran away and got on the ship to Orbis quickly. Then a few more people came in. People were talking about some sin that was lying on the floor and was dead. When the ship got to Orbis they ran into the sin. The sin looked up and called his Guild over called EliteSinz. They were all sins and were all holding ilbis to kill them. The cleric then called his Guild CabalZ and the fighter called his guild DizYpl then the battle raged and raged the people were tired but didnt have time to rest….there was bodies everywhere and ilbis going around. Clerics were healing but luckily priests and ice/light was around to help them out. The fighter’s guild had dragon knights and crusaders so they were fighting. The fight lasted about 5 days and the cleric and fighter won because the sin died and the EliteSinz joined their guild and walked Victoria Island and people knew that they were the ones that toke out the toughtest guild leader known to man. Until one day……
To be Continued………
Wow, this story is like someone talking non-stop o.O
Need indent, more paragraph, and alot more.
Overall: 7/10
1/10 Suks,
Sounds like a person saying all those “BAD” stuff about products or side costs REALLY fast,
U NEED MORE INDENTS AND PARAGRAPHS,
if u fix these i MIGHT read your 2nd part,
BTW: it seems to be dragging instead of flowing, Fore Example, look at the “Do I Really Love u” series