Gentlemen! Behold! Level 50!

I have succeeded in thrusting into the hole that is labeled “The Level 50 Club”. Thanks be to my long, hard efforts into strutting my good self into the party. It has taken me nearly a year to reach this level, but I’ve trained my ass for a while and I’ve come to bear the fruits of my labor. And to commemorate level fifty, I’ve consummated a orgy of items to clad myself in (and hold close to my body like a certain male-specific organ because of repressed childhood desires, thanks Dr. Freud).

For the first time, I look much like a bad ass. Nobody can deny that, because even a level 58 Assassin proved to me that I was very much so a bad ass. He defamed me, jealous that I looked much better than him, because let’s be honest, I do look awesome. He gave some silly reason with no real merit, which included (but is not limited to)…

“ur n00b. i have a level 112 hermit. stfu.”

Now my memory isn’t as clear as it used to be in the days of my youth, but it went something like that. I think I gave him the benefit of the doubt by believing that he spelled the words “level”, ” have”, “hermit”, and “stfu” correctly. I’m a bit shady on if he spelled “ur” correctly (I don’t believe so).

Honestly though, that Kismet is just fantastic and fabulous! It flows with my body, rather than make my legs look like KFC drumsticks (you know, the level 40 bowmen pants. Who the hell designed those, anyways?). I have two Kismets, that come in two different flavours. Freedom Blue, and Communist Red. Whenever I feel like defending freedom, or actually training, then I don on the overall that signifies Love, Liberty, and Justice for all. However, if I feel a bit risque, if I feel like walking around looking different (and possibly winding up in Gitmo), then I wear my Communist Red Kismet. It denotes a sort of flair to my person, and most people can not deny it, because most people have a bit of communism in their hearts. Don’t deny it.

Unfortunately, the one cash shop item I bought, a pair of pink pants, does not work well with me nowadays. I think Nexon found the perplexities and logistical difficulties in tucking such an overall down my pants. Regardless, let’s move on to other things. Such as boots! I have boots. Brown ones to be exact. Actually, I forget which ones I have, but I know it isn’t that bull crap brown boots I get from the Korean Folk Town quest. Which brings me up to a new paragraph.

KFT is fun. In the first day, of course. After that, we come to realize that it is just like Omega Sector: lame, that’s what. After doing some quests, it got boring, so I left. I don’t even feel like commenting any further on KFT because I am so uninterested about it. The only thing notable to mention is the low IQ’s of the people trying to steal your gourd, and the senile old man who can’t read the bloody names on the axes. And how do those people have so much axes? If they don’t have enough money to pay for rice, how can they afford to have those many axes, let alone LOSE those many? Nexon, you are breaking continuity. Fix it, please.

Next stop, Maro! Quite possibly the best bowmen hat devised so far. Screw every hat before it, and screw the Polyfeathers. The only two that look sexy enough to grace my body is the Maro, and the Patriot. Why? Because they look like bloody berets. That makes you look cool, so cool, in fact, that it has a placebo effect, making your character seem much more awesome that it already is. There has yet to be studies done to observe this effect in a scientific environment, but I’m sure it’s true. Also, the green Maro’s are the best. Black can suck it. Word.

And onto the grandest part of my level 50. My Rower. Like a squirrel in winter, I had saved up a 71 attack Rower and a couple of 60% crossbow scrolls, in the event I hit 50 (which I did, if you chaps happen to forget that). Good thing too, because I got those 60%’s for 100,000 mesos each. Nowadays it’s closer to around 200k. That is trash; Hamilton would like to have a word with you on economics. So I scrolled my Rower with both 60’s, and guess what? They fail. God bloody damnit they failed! What kind of crappy game is this?

I’m kidding, they both worked. I used 100%’s for the remainder of my slots, giving me an 80 attack Rower. It’s quite awesome, and my character loves holding it close to his body. Very close. Plus the Rower looks much more refined, and less clunky than the Silver Crow, but I would like to use the Heckler. Oh, my baby Heckler.

Well, I’m running out of steam here, mostly because I want to play StarCraft right now, and my friends on Ventrilo are haggling at me to play with them. So I’ll condense the remaining ten paragraphs of my entry into one. Basil Market is a hit or miss thing (mostly miss). The Rice quest is quite stupid. Red Robots are fantastic to train on, because I got a sapphire slain, jeweled katar, steel helmet, a buttload of shoes, and a yellow umbrella. And I’m back on my old computer because my new computer decided to piss me off and start BSODing all over again. But I am level 51.

Good night, and thank you for reading.

(P.S. I found out how to make this text box bigger. Hurray)