What happens when everything you thought was reality is fiction? When your entire life view is shattered? Total chaos occures. Well, good thing nothing like that is going to happen in this story. I wouldn’t want you to question your existance or anything like that.
So what are we going to do?
About what?
The boy, could he possibly be “The one?”
Your are aware of who his father is?
Are YOU aware of who is mother is?
All true sir, we will have to watch him closely. If we push him too far….
I am aware of the consiquences.
So what do you intend to do?
I will continue as planned. If he gets to talking with the wrong people our whole plan could be unwraveled.
I wouldn’t expect anything less.
I slowly walked into the school, a dark cloud above me head. Another day, another beating, I thought to myself as I tried to slip down the halways unnoticed, my padded dagger sheath banging softly against the metal lockers.
“Hey Echo.” spat a boy from behind me.
“Leave ne alone Soren.” I grumbled, a hint of anger lingered on my voice. In my mind I immagined slowly stabbing him with my silver lined field dagger, watching him writhe and twitch in a pool of his own blood. Well, maybe that’s a little dramatic but still, he really got on my nerves.
“What’s with the cold greeting? Are you asking for an early beating?” He grasped his trident tightly around the grip made of old rags.
“I’m warning you, just walk away.” My grip on the hilt of my knife tightned. My knuckles turned white from the pressure.
“Why? What are yoooooou going to do about it?” The way dragged out the you made my blood boil. My hand began to shake violantly and fire manifested itself in my eyes. My iris’ turned blood red. I was ready to kill.
“I warned you.” My voice sounded rough, like sandpaper. I unsheathed my dagger and ran directly at him. He looked awfuly confident with his little spear. He held the trident diagonally across his chest. I had to find a way to get behind it. Well, if I attack from the side… Soren began to pull down his spear, If I continued in this direction at this speed, I would be pretty badly with the lower left side of the trident tip. I did not want that to happen.
I shifted my weight to the right and pushed off hard with my right foot, left foot aproximatly 2 cm off the ground and directly behind my right. The trident missed me by about 8 cm. I guess I was closer than i thought. From my perspective, it looks as if I am zoomed out of the world around me, And I can zoom in when I focus.
With my new found momentum, I reached out with my dagger as far as I could. My dagger made a large 6 cm gash in his left bicept. He screamed out in agony as his muscle was lacerated, becoming limp and unresponsive. to his commands. His trident dropped to the floor at the percise moment I slammed into the wall. I cleaned the blood off my dagger with my shirt and started to walk away, satisfied with my work.
“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE S***! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” By now a large cround had gathered. I slowly turned my head and shot him a look that could kill him 1000 times over, if looks could actually kill. The, I chaneled my energy into the dagger and charged in for the final blow.
I rushed directly at him, dagger perpendicular to my torso. I lunged, and he rolled to the left, causing my dagger to become imbedded in the wooden wall of the school building. I didn’t even bother to take it out. I picked up his limp and trembling body by the head, thumbs above his eyebrows. Blows rained apon my stomach, however I didn’t care. I wanted him dead. I applied tremendous pressure to his skull. I heard a small crack. Tears were streaming down his face. His body wend limp.
“Please….. I’m begging you…….. don’t…. don’t kill me.” It was pathetic how he begged. I heard aonther small crack, and his whole body began to lurch.
“STOP THIS MADNESS!” Someone yelled behind me in the crowd. I felt a myriad of small japs on my back, and then everything went black.
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My first chapter, yes, I know it’s bad. If that’s all you have to say I would perfer you didn’t comment at all. However, if it’s constructive critisim, that is greatly appreciated. Keep in mind though, I typed this whole thing with word pad, so If grammar is the issue that should be fixed by sunday.
Like I mention in almost all the other FanFics, you need to insert some emotions .
How did the idi- I mean person feel.
Did the as- I mean the kid feel anything before he blacked out?
~
What do you mean it’s bad?!?!? I would kill to be able to write like that! lol Yeah I think you have a fan now.
Lol, I like the exact-ness of the fight.
Use more description.
And what Anni said.
Other then that, great work!
I love the name Soren. 😛
~~~~Pirkid~~~~
I tend not to use a lot of description because li like to leave the tedious details to the mind of the readers. It’s an exersise of Imagination to read my storys =D. I like the name Soren too. Much more creative than like, Josh (My name T_T)
@Annikabelle: SPOILER ALERT! Echo has Aspergers Syndrome, so he things logically and straight forward. He dosn’t like lies and Is socially challenged. I was going to reveal this in the next chapter but since you prodded me here it is. Basically he dosn’t do good with classifing emotions other than simple ones, such as rage and happyness. And since this story is in 1st person, He wont be able to pick up on other peoples emotions, so I don’t have to include them. LOOP HOLES FTW! *highfives self* END SPOILER!
@Snoop: THANKS! I feel better now =D
@ Everyone: I’m going to make this an inclusive story, so if you would like to be in it, post any notable information about yourselves that you want included and the name of you character. No numbers please, I would perfer real names, such as David, Joshua, Christopher, Gihdsapoigfa etc.
Don’t use exact measurements. It kinda detracts from the story.
I thought Echo was a female name? Echo and Narcissus
No, I realise that but his name is important. HIS name, HIS! You’ll also see why I use exact mesurements in the next episode. EVERYTHING IS OV IMPORTANCE, MUAH HAH HAH HAH! Also, it’s intresting that you would mention mythology, because that has somthing do do with Echo’s Past. A BIG something.
Also, stop with the “Cm” thing, unless he’s a polymath from Midnighters, he can’t actually see that. It’s WAY too specific. And also, try not to use capitals, even when people are shouting. Just say that they shouted that.
Grrr, read my posts, All will be revealed in the next chapter. And just so you know, he can see that. So, Die unless you know what you’re talking about. Which you don’t. And you just used capitals in your post. O.o Whatever. =D
No more spoilers pl0x! =)
xD ok.
Most of this is in the next episode anyway. -_-