Stage 4… Amazin’, huh? The team of geniuses is met with the challenge of a behemothic, terrifying, beastly tower of… BARRELS!!! Six friggin’ barrels, and the challenge of *gasp* finding the correct three to stand on. As expected, Annie knows what the hell she’s doing, and the mute wonder follows her lead. BAM hey guess-the hell-what! Porkchop is clueless! Whouldda thunk it!? I’m crying inside!! Why am I exclaming when unnecessary!!?? Jeuneau does his best to deal with Porkchop… like giving him the simplest job of the three… and shooting him. SHOOTING HIM HELPS!! As ordered, Annie takes up her postion on barrel 3 and Sukigame on 2. Porkchop, surprisingly, after drooling a lot and shaking his head, proceeds to barrel one, Jeuneau tries this first combination. No. Annie, as ordered, moves to barrel 4. No. 5. No. 6? No. This is usual, the correct combination is, more oft than not, the near-last. Suki proceeds to barrel 3 and Annie to 4. Wrong again. No matter, Annie moves to barrel 5 for the next combination… and so does Porkchop. No. This cannot be, thinks Jeuneau to himself, He could not be that stupid… He is, he has been before, he always will be, get used to it, reader. Jeuneau, observing that there is a measly 8 minutes remaining, quickly orders Porkchop to get back to barrel 1, “PORKS!! 1, NOW!” …Nothing. “PORKS GET THE HELL ON BARREL 1!” Porkchop, remarkably, hears his leader this time, and moves… to barrel 2. Jeuneau then calmly proceeds to shoot him in the right kidney… … …”Ya get it, boss?” Jeuneau inwardly craps all over his earlier attempts at kindness in not killing this piss-poor excuse for a sentient being and proceeds to draw back his crossbow again when he is interrupted by Annie, “Stop, you might actually do it this time. We’ll need him for cannon-fodder when we fight the boss.” Jeuneau stops loading his crossbow and stares blankly at Annie. … “I like the way you think, lady.” “Okay, so you’re not going to kill the dunce, but how do we get him back on barrel 1?” Jeuneau put down his crossbow for a moment, before being struck square in the face by a cudgel of an idea. He hopped up to barrel 1, and super-glued a shiny meso to the top of it. He then pointed this out to Porkchop. Porkchop’s crooked eyes sparkled with glee at the shiny thing and so he leapt up upon barrel 1 and proceeded to try and pry it up. Jeuneau would have to hug himself for this later. Fortunately, the correct combination turned out to be 146 and they proceeded to the final stage without having to move Porkchop the incredible invalid away from his mystifying shiny thing.

Last Stage… The circus of head trauma approaches the edge of the cliff, below which lie the evil eyes, quite strong, and quite good at kicking Porkchop’s ass… Or so Jeuneau hoped as he gently shoulder-rammed Porks over the edge with a disapproving look from Annie. As she rushed to see if Porks was okay, she and Jeuneau (not Sukigame, he was too busy listening to brain cells die) witnessed a sight, a horrible scene, the first of many which would leave our narrator/hero astounded to this day… Porkchop had defeated the evil eyes… every last one… In a staring contest battle royale. Jeuneau hung over the edge of the cliff, staring in shock and confusion. Sukigame proceeded to walk of the edge, land on his head thirty feet below, and stand up. The only two remaining looked at each other as if to say “You first, asshole.” After a momentary standoff, Annie kicked Jeuneau in the ribs, which would have sent him over, had he not grabbed the hem of her robes, dragging her off the edge after him. Jeuneau landed on his back, hard… on his housekeys. A moment later, Annie came crashing down, assfirst, onto Jeuneau’s face. (Mind you, this would’ve totally made Jeuneau’s day had she not fallen from THIRTY FEET and dislocated his jaw… WITH HER ASS!) Annie stood, grateful that her fall had been broken by her captain’s cranium, and offered Jeuneau a hand up. He gratefully accepted with a pitiful whimper. and they continued to the third level. They headed down the ladder to dispose of the Jr. Nekis, (and by “they”, I mean Porkchop first while the others watched) when Good ol’ Porks noticed something… “OH NOES!!! SNAAAAAKES!!!!” The adorable little critters approached Porkchop, wondering if he would pet them, or maybe give them some snakey-treats. They were wrong as HELL. In abstract fear, Porkchop summoned the might of a hundred men for the noble intention of bludgeoning the adorable PISS out of these cute little creatures. He succeeded grandly. Stepping over snake-chunks, the party continued to the boss.