Warning: This blog is so long, it isn’t even funny. Back off if you don’t have patience.

This happened quite a while back, but after reading a blog about getting back at random defamers, I was very amused to be reminded about this particular incident.

First, a random comment about how irritating the Icarus Cape quest is. I did it once on my huntress, SilverFx, and I didn’t get the darn speed cape. Only after two more tries on my cleric, muwhaha, and my I/L wizard, Gastropoda, then did I get that darn speed cape. I mean, does it hurt Icarus for him to just give me the darn speed cape the first time round? Death to Icarus!

*goes so off the tangent that she topples off*

(By the way, try saying ‘darn speed cape’ ten times quickly. Kinda morphs into darn speck ape for me. :P)

Anyway, this was before muwhaha completed the quest. So I was at the Subway, waiting in line for my sandwich. Ah, I mean, magic clawing Stirges for the Icarus Cape quest. The entire area was sort of empty, or maybe it wasn’t, I can’t really remember. I just know that I was getting really impatient for the quest to be completed, with only a few more feathers to go, so I was just massacring the Stirges in both the upper layer, and the lower layer.

Then this rogue came in, and started to whack at the Stirges. He could barely bat the darn things away, so I thought he was just exploring the area, and continued to just claw at any Stirge in sight. If there was an argument, I don’t remember it. All I remember was, ‘”________ has dropped muwhaha’s fame.’ popping up on the chatbar in jolly pink.

(Funny how some things just slip away, and how some weird insignificant things just stick to your mind. Like how you forgot what the formula for catalytic hydrogenation of alkenes was, but remember how many more SP you need to max that darn Heal. Fascinating.)

*is yanked back into topic by a huge entertainer’s cane*

Anywaaay. I was feeling a little pissed off already, with the aforementioned Quest, so I didn’t take too kindly to that defame. So I dropped down to where the rogue was, and did something I rarely do: I defamed back.

After some cursing, the rogue disappeared. I thought, hallelujah, that’s the end of it, and continued to clawing for feathers.

The Maple God of Chance was really contrary (heck, isn’t he always?) and suddenly realised, right there and then, that bats just don’t have feathers, and therefore, it is impossible for Stirges to drop feathers. Which meant that I had to stay there for the longest time, clawing my way through teh Featherless Desert of Despair. Nuuuuu! [insert doom music]

And that, I decided, was my undoing. In the time I stayed there, a bandit popped into the Subway, and without much ado, defamed me. He disappeared, then the rogue came back. What I realised then was that the two character’s usernames were anagrams! (More accurately, different permutations of the same few random letters.)

Hell hath no fury like a girl scorned (and left featherless), so I retaliated immediately by logging into one of my many noobies and defamed back. Eye for an eye, who cares if I’m blind?

Then, stupidly, I went back to my cleric, when my common sense was arguing with my other split personalities on how important it was to get those darn feathers. (Frankly, I wouldn’t listen to any of my senses, but hey, the common one was actually uncommonly sensible this time.)

The enemy tracked me down with another character to defame me. F3.

After a couple more rounds of this silly personal defame war (I am happy to announce that that rogue’s fame was negative by the time I was done), the enemy sent one last brave skirmisher, a Lightning Wizard. My fame flopped down one last digit in surrender, and then the wizard was gone.

I was fed up by now. Still no feathers, I’m just going to give up on stupid Icarus, and why on earth was this person so irritating? It looked like the wizard was still at large, but escaping in the direction of Sleepywood, where I had left Gastropoda.

My brother was watching me all the while, and suddenly he said, ‘If I were you, I’ll just stalk him until he gets fed up.’

With these wise words, the service of ‘Personal Pain in the Arse’ was born.
(PPitA for short. How professional, I’ve got an acronym!)

I logged onto Gastropoda, and tracked down the wizard. He was in the Sleepywood map with lots of Octopi, lightning them. I went up to him, said hello.

No answer. How unfriendly.

Then I started to just hunt there, clearing his spawn before he could reach them. He seemed to be out of inventory space, leaving Octopi Omok pieces behind, so I looted. He told me to ‘CC PLZ’, I just f2-ed and continued to kill. He dropped down on a platform I was clearing, I KS-ed him. I dropped down on a platform he was clearing, I KS-ed him (Ineffectively of course, but that’s not the point. Why? Because I said so, and this blog is getting too long for another explanation, darn it.)

In that short time, I committed all sorts of Bad Evil Things (BET! Acronym!) that Maple can let you commit (other than hacking. I don’t have an axe, anyway). Then came the coup de grace. (CDG?)

I started whispering to him.

Me: Hello Daaarling.
Him: ?
Me: You know, I LOVE YOU!
Him: ??
Me: What, how come you don’t recognise me?
Him: Who are you?
Me: You forgot about me! How can youuuu!
Him: [leaves the map]

Me: Don’t run!
[/find reveals him to be running back towards Kerning]
Me: Don’t run, darling! You can never escape my hands, muwhahaha!

See, no one else spells muhaha/mwuhaha/what-else-have-you that way. At that, the enemy probably realised my infiltration, and promptly logged off. None of his other characters logged back in either. (If they did, I’d just have whispered them with Gastropoda and go, ‘Hii, darling, I know it’s youu.’ Complete with multiple vowels.)

And my brother and I spent the next few minutes laughing our heads off and imagining how we could have completed the humiliation with a few insane megaphones. Like: OY, <insert username> WHY YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT?! COME BACK TO ME, LUV!

I know, I could have been reported for harassment or something, but it was worth the fun. And I realise how stupid the whole incident was, but it does break the boredom of training. 😛

[Wow, you read up to here? Cookies~! Specially from Subway ;)]