It’s strange, isn’t it. You watch your EXP bar climb, from 0%, to 50%, down to 42% (because you stupidly forgot to pot and you (joyfully!) got OHKO-ed), then so excruciatingly slowly crawl up to 98%, and as more men with strange flip-up shades die all around you, you stumble into the godly realm of 99%.

Your heart beats that little bit faster, because DUDE, you are going to level.

And while you are bombing away at the whole mob of evil Yakuza (remind me to explain to you my theory about them later on, together with that Zombie theory), whee!, that level-up animation plays out before your eyes and you scramble to hit the Scroll Lock to record your 65th level up.

You aren’t even prepared for it, because the wait for 100% has gotten so boring and grinding, you thought it would never end; you wonder if you missed that SS opportunity, being as slow as you were to snap out of that daze repeated ‘point-and-shooting’ locked you in. (I didn’t miss, by the way.)

Then, being in the middle of an entire mob of vengeful Yakuza, you continue bombing and DS-ing. No rest for the weary, right? You finally finish them off, and stand at one deserted spot to check out that nice skillbook you got eons ago (you can’t even remember how long ago, you’d trained so slowly. Just look at all those 1xxs that started when you were lvl 50!), finally deciding to add one point to maximise the current MP usage of your Soul Arrow, and finally, finally getting that pretty Focus thing. (It really is pretty. I’m not sure about how useful it’ll be, though. I can only get it up to lvl 14, max. Unless someone wants to sponsor me cash to reset? 😉 Advice would be joyful at this point in time, even if I have irreversibly further screwed up my character. )

Then you put away the skillbook, and look around the Showa Street 2 Map. Already, the Yakuza you eliminated have come back, cursing and waving their bricks and baseball bats. Even though you have hit that level 65 you hankered after for for so long, things don’t seem to have changed, have they? 65 didn’t hit back – a la mrlumpy’s joke -, your EXP bar is back to 0.00, your MP pots are still on their way to 0, you still need at least four hits to kill Leadermen A and B, you still need at least 3mil to get a nicely scrolled Golden Hinkel for lvl 70.

And those damn Yakuza still keep coming back. Jeebus.

Oh well.

Back to repeated ‘point-and-shooting’. Maybe Mr Extra A would drop you a few more pairs of those Blue Whitebottoms. Seven you have gotten, to date. Or was it eight? You can’t remember. There are others: a couple of warrior boots, one red sneaker and one red lined Thief shoe. Sooner or later, you might just get a shoe wardrobe to rival Imelda Marcos, who knows? Would be something to alleviate that boredom.

Ah yes, the Theories

You know, repeated ‘point-and-shooting’ does induce a kind of stupor not quite unlike that induced by lectures. (At least, for me.) My brain, in that sort of stupor, starts to wander in the most interesting ways.

And thus, as my long-suffering BL can attest, the Theories are born.

Let me bring you through the thought processes. Forgive the format they are written, but I can’t think of any better way to show the totally random and erratic way I work.

First of all, the Yakuzas.

*point, shoot, DS DS, bomb bomb bomb, DS DS DS DS*
Dude, what’s with the HS.net database calling them extras? A ploy to puncture their gangsta egos?
*DS DS, shoot*
Waaaiit. Extras?
*bomb bomb, DS DS*
Sounds like those you hire on a movie set, no? And there’s that funny theatre thing in the Showa Street Market. Hmm.
*DS DS DS DS DS DS, single-shot, Gee, just die already, you stupid Leaderman, single-shot*
Hey, what about this?
*PKB, dash away, bomb, att- oops, hit a stunned dude there, dash away, bomb bomb DS*
They are extras that got rejected from the latest mafia movie casting! I mean, how else to explain the identically lousy hairstyles, weird costumes and bad ‘Look at me, I’m badass’ acting?
*bomb, DS DS DS*
Yeah. That sounds about right.
To BL: I have a theory for those gangstas!

Then, there’s the Zombies.

*point, shoot, DS DS- Ouch.*
Damn, he got me there. Stupid clawing thing.
*DS DS, shoot, run away*
Ew. Vomiting is bad style, dude.
*bomb bomb, DS DS, Oh shoot, damn ghosts after me!, run away*
*DS DS DS DS DS DS, Gee, just die already, you stupid Ghosts, single-shot*
*Zombie spawns right on top, bow ends up swinging at it*
*a mess of Ghosts, SilverFx, Bakwa and one Zombie later*
Shoot, it poisoned me. =/
*DS DS DS, Zombie dies*
So these things claw and poison. Hmm. Who in Maple does that description fits?
*hangs on a rope to watch HP drop 15 points per second*
Archers? Nah. We’re too cool.
Warriors? Nah, not much magic there, right?
*hits Ramen button*
Thieves? Only if Haste somehow konked out on the entire Thieving race to become Slow instead.
What’s left?
MAGES! Claw and Poison, no?
*Poisoned state wears off, back to DS, bomb bomb, DS DS DS-( you get the picture by now.)*
Maybe, maybe, they were noobie Magicians that tried to apply to mage academy, but got rejected! Then they got depressed and killed themselves. But feeling totally disgruntled, they crawled out of their graves and became Undead to haunt their ebil examiners.
Hmm. Sounds about right.
To BL: *excited* Hey, want to hear about my theory about Zombies?

—————————

SSes:
[1] – Leveled up.
[2] – What can I say? I was hungry and bored.
[3] – Second meeting of the clone 😀 I saw her in Orbis once before (see previous blog. I is lazy to link.)

That’s it. And, uh, about the title… Blame the mood swing. *nods* I apologise on the behalf of Myself. I couldn’t sleep. :/

Cookies~