It has been such a long time since we sat down and talked to each other like this, hasn’t it. I do miss those times, when we could just talk about anything and everything under the skies.

Do you remember, back then, how we would both go out to hunt those kittens? What are their names… ah, yes. Baby Cellions? Oh, that’s right, we met in those gardens in the first place.

No, I didn’t forget that, I really didn’t! I just-

– I’m sorry. I really am. Forgive me, my love. Please don’t be angry. You know how upset I get when you are upset too.

Where were we? Ah yes, Baby Cellions.

I know, I was so weak back then, I could hardly bear to hurt one of those adorable looking felines. ‘How did you ever make it to your level accreditation?’ you laughed when you first saw me half-heartedly lashing out at the kittens with my Vaulter bow, before you raised your claw and unleashed an entire brace of deadly Tobis at them.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that look in your eyes, hard and filled with deep satisfaction, as the kittens fell over wounded and unconscious. After all, it made me decide that I must be like you: bold, careless, confident in yourself and your abilities.

After all, it made me love you. As much as it made me afraid of you…

I do not know what strange fortune allowed me the chance to be with you. I do not know what strange logic persuaded you to accept me in your party. All I know is that you did, and I made up my mind that I will never take for granted that precious chance.

I tried to copy you, to emulate all your successes. I learnt, over time, to not to flinch even if the pathetic mew of a dying Cellion reached my ears, to not to yield even if a mob of them come charging at me, to not to cry even if I get injured, no matter how bad the wound was.

Yes, I still remember that. We had moved on to hunting Stone Golems- no, you moved and I followed, even though I thought I was still too weak for them. But you never cared if you were too weak for anything, and so I tried not to as well.

A golem came up to me too close, and I had no space to draw my bow. I saw you standing off to the side, with that look on your face as you watched casually, a Tobi glinting from between the fingers of the hand that wore your claw. I thought you would help, so I stayed my ground, raising my bow to swing at the golem. The blow did nothing to the golem, my bow’s polished wood bouncing off its stony hide harmlessly.

The golem raised its fist. I gave up trying to be brave and screamed for your help.

You never came.

Later on, with hot blood pouring profusely out of a gaping gash on my forehead, I sat where I had fallen on the ground, dumbly watching the crumbled remains of the destroyed golem scatter across the ground, your razor sharp Tobis stuck in the ground next to them. I felt tears start in my eyes at the throbbing pain at my head, and … at something else altogether.

I did not know what that something else was, until you walked up to me, chucked me a bottle of white healing potion, and then just strode off.

“Stop whinging, pansy,” you said.

That something else that also caused my tears was you.

Ah, you shake your head… or maybe it is just the shadows that shift across your face in the coming dark. You remain impassive as ever.

You don’t believe me, then? You don’t trust my memory? Have I ever lied to you as you had lied to me?

You did not lie? Oh, maybe you did not. But you kept what I needed to know from me; that is tantamount to lying, in my- Oh, don’t give me that stupid ‘You do not need to know that’ nonsense. I so did need to know.

I remember. It was in the departmental store, in Henesys. We had just stepped inside, to clear out our inventories and to replenish potion stores. Then, as the shopkeeper turned away to gather our orders, you suddenly just dropped the bomb.

You said you did not want me around anymore. I asked why. You said, don’t ask why, it’s for you to know and for me to guess. Then you just left me standing there at the head of the queue, my fingers curled numbly around the last bottle of blue mana elixir that I had purchased.

How did you expect me to sleep properly at night with that kind of explanation!

So I followed you- Heavens, this sounds just like something out of a damn stalker novel, but damn if I did not succumb to that damn jealousy that curled up like a poisonous snake up in my damn head-

-Ah, I’m sorry. You don’t like me cursing. You curse, all the time, but you never did let me curse. Bless you, my love. (How pleasing it is to be able to finally call you love!)

I followed you, out of Henesys, through the L Forest, then into the bustling, dusty Kerning City, the town after your own heart: it was hard, cold and ever so practical in deciding who is strong enough to survive and who isn’t.

You turned and ducked into the Jazz Bar, and still I followed you, into that disgusting dark smoky nest for vermin. I couldn’t believe that you, my idol, would even stop at such a place, but I still thought you had a really good reason. You always had one, to back up everything you do, every seemingly cruel word you bestow on me. It was all for my own good, right?

Well. Your ‘good reason’ just happened to be a girl, Balrog damn you.

I hope you are proud that I did not cry over that. I did not cry when I saw you meet up with her, I did not cry when I saw you look at her in a way I wished you’d looked at me, I did not even cry when you two moved closer and closer to entwine around each other in the cover of that wicked darkness…

You taught me also to form a good solid plan to help me get back to my feet whenever I got knocked down. So I heeded your words, and planned my next step.

You don’t know how much your words sway me, how much power you have over me!

And you’d throw it away just like that?!

I see the wetness on your face. Are you crying now? No, how can you cry when I didn’t? Only cowards ever cry.

Ssh, my love, it’s alright. You can’t be hurt now. What the hell, you can’t be hurt ever, damn strong man you are, but it’s just… especially not now. Here, I’ll shelter you from the drizzle and wipe that rainwater off your cheek.

So I thought, what the hey, let’s just make a clean break between you and I. I thought to just meet up with you, to tell you what I saw, to make clear what I thought, and still think, of you. Then I’d have my closure, and we’d both be free.

Or maybe I naively hoped to get you back somehow.

It didn’t go as I planned. You began yelling at me, just yelling and yelling, so much noise that it hurt my head, and I yelled back and told you to stop it stop it stop it!

Don’t blame me for it, my love. You did not want to stop.

You pulled the bow out of my hands even as I raised it against the dangerous you in defence, brought that Tobi of yours up to my throat, bellowing Why the hell did you not tell me earlier! Dark Lord, I feel so effing grossed out, you bastard! I’ll tell you what I think about your love, you disgusting fag! Bloody ga-

You never got to finish that word.

You were so worked up, you forgot about that Field dagger that you gave me for self-defence. It was during that one time when we got stuck in the middle of a mob of baby Cellions without star or arrows; I have always carried it with me ever since, because you told me to keep it with me all the time for my protection.

But at least you are quiet now. You don’t really need to talk, because I know you so well that I can tell what you’re thinking. Things are always better when it is all quiet between us. Sometimes not, of course, especially when I need answers and all you give me is silence…

…but yes, this is so much better.

Let me just lie here with you. Your body grows so cold, and I think a storm is coming. I’ll give you warmth to tide it over. Put your hands away, yes, like that, no point covering that ugly bloody tear in your clothes now. I’ll get you new ones when the storm is over and when we get back to town.

You know I’ll love you, even if you were dead.
—————————————————————————————————————–

So like, the idea for this crept up to me and wouldn’t let me go until I finished it. It was supposed to be a straight forward jilted-love story, but then the story had other ideas. But for that, it took a remarkably short time to write.

Disclaimer: I mean no offence with the story’s sentiments. This is just a work of fiction; any similarities with any other story real or otherwise is purely coincidental.

Oh, and I finally got my mitts on the latest HP book and finished it in less than twelve hours. >D It didn’t exactly pwn, I got bored at some points in time, but hey, the ending was satisfying at least. ^^;