Kittens are sexy Meow smacked the kitty and the kitty died
7 thoughts on “A story <3”
Check your grammar and punctuation. Sorry to say, but I am not really captivated in the action. Try to elaborate more.
-=The Nazgul=-
Yeah
You don’t post stories one paragraph at a time here.
That just doesn’t work, what with the spam filter.
Anyways, the story goes to fast and unexplained.
Punctuation FTW.
Yea, what Nazgul and Zathe said!
-___-
ill give ten dollars to anybody who can make sense out of that
no offense
I really couldn’t read that. Besides the weird grammatical errors, it just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, there’s two guys in a pitch black room, and it’s a cylinder with a circle on a pillar over a bottomless pit, and there’s a spear involved. . .
♦Start point . . . 2 out of 5
♦Action Sequence . . . 2 out of 5
♦Grammar and Punctuation . . . 1 out of 5
♦Efforts for trying . . . 4 out of 5
This whole paragraph just needs to be rewritten. Nothing makes sense. Why are they there? Why are they fighting? What is the setting? Who are the people fighting? How did the fight start? As you answer these questions, start placing everything in the order they should fall in and make sentences out of that. Also, use these: . ! ? , ” ” ; : they are you friends. Do as much proofreading as possible.
Meow smacked the kitty and the kitty died 
Check your grammar and punctuation. Sorry to say, but I am not really captivated in the action. Try to elaborate more.
-=The Nazgul=-
Yeah
You don’t post stories one paragraph at a time here.
That just doesn’t work, what with the spam filter.
Anyways, the story goes to fast and unexplained.
Punctuation FTW.
Yea, what Nazgul and Zathe said!
-___-
ill give ten dollars to anybody who can make sense out of that
no offense
I really couldn’t read that. Besides the weird grammatical errors, it just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, there’s two guys in a pitch black room, and it’s a cylinder with a circle on a pillar over a bottomless pit, and there’s a spear involved. . .
♦Start point . . . 2 out of 5
♦Action Sequence . . . 2 out of 5
♦Grammar and Punctuation . . . 1 out of 5
♦Efforts for trying . . . 4 out of 5
This whole paragraph just needs to be rewritten. Nothing makes sense. Why are they there? Why are they fighting? What is the setting? Who are the people fighting? How did the fight start? As you answer these questions, start placing everything in the order they should fall in and make sentences out of that. Also, use these: . ! ? , ” ” ; : they are you friends. Do as much proofreading as possible.
♥ ♦ ♣ ♠