Beware~This chapter has profanity. Lots and lots of profanity.
Also Beware~If you’re a rape victim, then you may be dramatized by some of the scenes in this story.

It’s been a while since I cranked out a story, hasn’t it? Five days is far too long to keep you guys waiting for a good story. But don’t worry, I am here to revitalize the drought we’ve been in. You guys sure don’t do much to show your appreciation. =/

This time we’re going to get on with the story. There will be no side-tracking like I know you guys always do. Seriously now, you need to get things done and stop screwing around all the time. If it wasn’t for me to pick up all the slack, you guys would all be dead; whether because you’re just too lazy, or I just shoot you.

Today’s story will be starring:
Annikabelle
gujju
AliyahRoyal (2nd time appearing~w00t!)
Grimno… again.

With the appearance of these four fine MMOTALERZ!!!!, the waiting list for the Campfire Stories will be blank. Now don’t get the idea that I actually like putting you guys down, but if you want to be in the story, drop me a line at the forum I made (Requesting help! Again!). Put down your name and how you wanna be portrayed, and we can get going!

Today’s story starts with James working in his garden. What a pansy he is. (ROFL! He’s a pansy, and there are pansies in a garden!) If you don’t enjoy that pun, then I suggest you get out of here right now. There will surely be more like it. If you have a problem with that, howz about you and me after story-time in the parking lot? Yah, I bet you’ll back down now, won’t you?

James: Ahh, today is such a fine day to work in the garden. I highly doubt there will be anything to ruin this great day!

Grimno: Don’t get your hopes up there, Piglet.

James: What are you doing here?! You already had your way with me and killed me. Why must you continue to torture me?! D:

Grimno: I’m here to continuously heal you when it’s not needed, then when you actually need to be healed, I’ll come up with a damn good excuse not to!

James: You’re a bad cleric since you murdered me! D:

Grimno: You’re a bad Christian because you weren’t at mass last week! You worship the Devil!!!

James: But I love The Lord! Every time I have sex, I think of him!

Grimno: What the fuc–

James: Don’t finish what you’re about to say! It’s the law that if you say ****, you’ll get banned.

Grimno: You just said it! You just said ****!

James: Oh ****! I ****ing said ****! Mother ****!

Grimno: ****ing stop saying ****! You’re going to get us killed! ****, James! ****!

At this time, a wild AliyahRoyal peers into James’s yard to see what the fuss she heard is about. Along with her, is her lesbian lover gujju. It seems that having sexual relations with your brother isn’t natural, so Aliyah has decided to go in a different path.

Aliyah: What the **** is going on?!

James: Aha! You just said ****! You’re going to get it now!

Aliyah: You just said **** yourself!

Grimno: Can we all just stop saying ****?! Jesus Christ…

James: You just used the Lord’s name in vain! You’re going to get it!

Grimno: You shut your damn mouth, James! I’ll beat your ass so bad, you’ll never be able to **** right ever again!

Gujju: Such sailor-talk. 😮

*Random ninja with a shotgun for a left arm and a chainsaw for a right arm pounces from the shadows and exterminates Gujju*

Aliyah: What the?!

James: ‘Tis a shame… she only got one line in the story.

Grimno: I’ve got an idea… I’mma call my Assassin friend over here. 😉

Aliyah: My smoking hot lover is dead! How can this be?!

James: I had high hopes for a hot girl-on-girl scene in this chapter… No action today, folks. =(

Lunar (Grimno’s buddy): Aye, Grimno! What did you need me for?

Grimno: ROFFLES! There’s a dead girl here. I’ll go up to her and spam heal, and you spam with your Booster. It’ll look so funny!!

*Grimno and Lunar commence with the skill-raping*

Aliyah: My lover’s dead body is being disgraced with… men! I shan’t have this happen!

James: Ooooh, a foursome! I’ll just sit down now and watch how this turns out.
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We interrupt this current scene of piping-hot love action to bring you these very important messages. We gurantee this message is a lot more important than what’s going on in the story.

James: Have you, or one of your loved ones, ever been attacked by a necrophiliac? If so, then you might want to buy our product!

Gujju: I have recently been killed by a genetically-modified ninja, and people have been doing stuff with my carcass!

Aliyah: I am appalled by what people did to her after she had passed!

Grimno: I was one of the ones Aliyah was appalled by!

James: A tragic story we just heard here, folks. We hope you make the right choice.

Grimno: You didn’t even say how to pay for the product! Or what it is!

James: Oh yes… Just make five easy payments of a hundred bucks, and we’ll send w/e our product is, straight to your house!
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James: Whoever missed what just went on is a total loser! It was crazy I tell you! Absolutely crazy!

Grimno: I got a Tortillia chip stuck in my liver. D:

Aliyah: I told you to stop moving once I applied the olive oil.

Lunar: How did I get involved in your guy’s wacky charades?! I just came here because Grimno told me!

James: I ask that same question all the time! This town’s seriously got some fudged up people!

*Suddenly, a nuke drops on our characters, and they all die.*

Annikabelle: I had to appear sometime! It was starting to get pretty ridiculous!

And that ends today’s… slightly-disturbing story. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and the nuns I showed down at the monastery.

~Cheezy