If you can, turn the text yellow and scroll down it to have the “Star Wars” effect.

A long time ago, in a Server far, far away…

EPISODE ONE: THE PIXELATED MENACE

Several buddies had a short conversation about… you guessed it (maybe), hacks. One of the participants, Kezric, just happened to be indulging a Star Wars fix at the time. As he sat watching Obi-Wan cut people apart and simultaneously hearing a buddy reminisce about his days as a hacker, a thought occurred.

“Stay legit, dude. Don’t fall to the Dark Side.”

Suddenly, an odd offhand comment became a new project- a comical project. A project so grandiose, perhaps tens of people would experience it. Kez would spend the next few days contemplating the parallels between Star Wars and MapleStory, eventually culminating them into the epic clash of the Legit Jedi against the Sith Haxxors. A battle known only as… the Maple Wars.

*theme song* Here’s the script. Until I work up some conviction and actually do some comic stuff with this, it’ll be in an all-written format. Now apparently, people like what I write anyway, so that may not be a bad thing. But as for now, you guys are my scratch pad- because I have free time and need to kill an hour fast, and that happens real well when I write. Here goes.

CHAPTER ONE: Change of Plans

Maple Jedi Master Luhka and his apprentice Kezric looked off into the distance. The massive, towering brick fortresses of Ludibrium were their destination, and as the egde of the dock approached Luhka reviewed the mission one last time.

“Okay, Kez,” the onyx-haired Archer began, “Here’s how this is gonna go down.” Luhka spoke in a mellow tone evocative of someone whose mind was on other, more important things, signifying that his mind was at ease and he had no doubts about the mission at hand. “We’re here under the pretense of negotiating the fair release of the Crossroad of Time. It’s a critical chokepoint, and must be returned to neutral status to maintain order in the Code and the safety of Bellocan. However, our true mission is to ascretain exactly WHY the Crossroad of Time is so critical to the Free Market Federation.”

In stark contrast to his master, Kezric was doubtful and shaken. “Master, we’re gonna get pwnt. The Crossroads are full of crap we can’t kill. There’s all kinds of crazy vikings and whatnot–“

“We won’t go that deep, apprentice. We’re going just below the Toy Factory, to the reception terraces. All that’s there are a few maintenance monsters. No reat threat. Besides. . . we’re friggin’ Legits, man. What’s gonna happen at worst, you actually have to use your lightsaber? Yes, I can see it now. Poorly placed trap, cut cut cut, traitors scream and die, end of story. There’ll be a fabricated coverup and the invasion will disintegrate. So. . . just chillax, and don’t let on you’re any kind of warrior, much less a Legit. And more importantly. . . try not to lag.”

Kez realized the futility of his pleas. Regardless of protest, he was going to this meeting, and what happened would happen whether he wanted it to or not. “Oh. . . fine. Let’s just try to make this quick.” The ship soon docked and the two Archers were met by two frail, low-level maged in expensive robes- sires of the Free Market Federation. Too physically weak to keep their military hold on the Crossroad, they reinforced their numbers and martial strength with a vast army of monsters. Two Toy Trojans, members of the security detail, flanked the merchant emissaries.

“Welcome, ambassadors. This way, if you please.” Ludibrium was a massive fortress, crafted by billions of plastic bricks. Honestly, how it stayed so high in the air, perched atop Eos Tower and its twin Helios, was a mystery to all. Below the fortress was a realm where time had almost no bearing. Reality itself was warped in this area, and as a result bits of monsters and such would be drawn here, twisted and mutated- not the least of which were the Factory’s own teddies, which made residence just above. Master and apprentice passed a small group of these plush automatons on their way to the Cloud Terrace, where the meeting was scheduled to be held.

Meanwhile, in the depths of the Toy Factory, two members of the Free Market Federation sat around a small screen, awaiting word from their commander. Soon, the image of a sinister cloaked figure appeared and addressed them.

“Have the ambassadors arrived?”
“Yes, Lord Deletrious. They are waiting in the Cloud Terrace.”
“Good, good. Kill them.”
“. . .Your will be done, my Lord.”

Kezric and Luhka sat in wait as several small ducks with wheels weaved between blocks on the ground which served as tables. Kezric peered out the window and awaited the arrival of the negotiators and their mediator. Luhka was noticeably worried, a strange change of pace for the aging, nonchalant Legit Master. “This is taking far too long,” he mused. “This should be over by now, and yet we’re–“

His master’s sudden silence prompted Kez to start panicking again. “What? What happened? Did–” Luhka silently waved his hand to silence his apprentice as he listened for something only he could hear. Kez obeyed, but still silently panicked as thoughts of what could be happening ran through his mind. Before he could consider it too deeply, however, the doors slammed shut and the portals leading back were deactivated- followed by a low hissing. As the room began to take on a green tint, both of them knew what was happening.

Luhka suddenly switched from an introspective Legit Master to a headstrong man of action.”Hell no, man. I ain’t dying from no punk gas. Stand back, man- I’ma blow this damn door down.” Kezric was taken aback by this uncharacteristically cavalier act, and took cover behind a stack of blocks. Several seconds later, there was a loud screech and the gas drained from the room. “Come on, man! We’re making a break for it!” Kezric came from behind his hiding spot to find that his master had literally left him in his dust, and Kez ran through a cloud of debris in an attempt to catch up. As his master rounder a corner, however, his footsteps stopped. Kez soon found out why.

Luh was faced down by two King Block Golems. They seemed to mock him as they both said in a failed attempt at unison “nobodymovenobodymove” and simply… stood there. A swarm of King Bloctopi soon moved in to assist. They fired their first shots without delay, a clear display of their deadly intent. Luhka ducked, sending a glorious, golden Soul Arrow through one of their shots to deflect another into the arm of a Golem. Kez decided to follow suit and launched a seemingly misfired Bomb Arrow into a wall. Sensing nothreat from a desperately poor marksman, the attackers were taken aback as they were suddenly crushed by the body of a Block Golem, damaged in the explosion and sent flying. The two decided their work was done, and with a little creative Power Knockbacking to make a path through future attackers found the docking bay. There one of the Free Market mages confronted them. Opening a single Summoning Sack, a swarm of Bloctopi emerged- only to be simultaneously stricken down by a single arrow before they could even touch the ground.

Astonished, the mage exclaimed, “You– you’re no ambassadors!” Luhka quickly retorted, “Damn right we’re not. We’re Legits, and now that our cover is blown we will take our leave. Kez, get us out of here.” Kezric sat behind the controls of a soon-to-be stolen shuttle, calmly preparing it for launch. “Gladly, boss.” As futile attempts to shoot them down were made by the remaining security detail, they made good their escape and would soon be well within the Crossroads, no doubt pursued by the Free Market Federation.

Will our heroes survive their ordeal? Yeah probably. But you should still read next week’s installment too.
(This was longer than I thought it would be.)