Okayy this one is better. No action at all but, it’s a can’t miss.
Ch 3 – Sub
We have to cast a sub life. Lucas said.
A substitute life? Sir, that requires- The angel got cut off by Lucas.
Yes, it requires one whole life or two half lives from two other people. Im going to give him my life. Lucas said.
No, sir, I can. I think I have enough mana. The angel said.
You dont have enough mana. You have about one-hundred mana and you need three-hundred fifty mana points. Lucas said.
The angel didnt reply and backed away from Lucas.
Hes my son after all isnt he? Lucas said smiling.
The angel nodded. Sir, a sub life only lasts an average of three years though. it said.
Not this sub. It will last a while in this body. Lucas said grinning.
The angel smiled Yes, it sure will. it replied.
Lucas laid down on the cold, tiled floor. He put his right hand on his left shoulder and his left hand on his right shoulder. Lucass soul started to float out of his body and then so did Michaels. The collided into each other making a bigger soul. It then slowly floated back to Michaels body. Lucass body disappeared into thin air.
A paper slowly started to float down from the air. The angel ran over to it as it landed on Michaels stomach. The angel picked it up and started to read it to itself.
Hi, the time you are reading this I will be gone. I just wanted to warn you that the Guards are coming to hunt us down today. Well, they were going to hunt us down but, now they just get to hunt you and Michael So heal Michaels hands and give him the throwing stars in the closet down in the basement so he can help you fight them off. There should be a lot of guards. At the least twenty and at the most fifty. Im not worried about you because youre strong and you basically cant die. Well, Im worried about Michael because he can die. Oh, just to let you know youre not an angel anymore because angels dont fight. I thought Id let you know that but, no matter what you still have the power to not die.
Sincerely,
Lucas
The angel placed its hands on Michaels stomach. Then it started shaking Michael until he woke up from his nap
Am I in heaven yet? Michael asked not opening his eyes.
No, youre not in heaven. Lucas told me to tell you something. The angel said seriously.
Oh, Im alive. Cool. Sooo what did he want you to tell me? Michael asked checking if he could move his hands yet.
Guards are coming to kill us. At the least twenty will show up and at the most fifty will. We dont know how many are showing up yet. The angel said.
Oh, but, I cant move my hands. Well, anyway where is Lucas? Michael asked curiously.
Im going to heal your hands. Lucas is dead. He was trying to send you to heaven but, your soul is rotten and you dont have an angel or anything inside of you. So you cant go to heaven. Lucas is your father. He just wanted to do what was best because he loved you. He didnt want you to suffer from the guards raiding your home and here. Youre the only one alive in your whole family right now. The angel said.
Michael tried to hide that he was crying by rubbing his eyes, pretending that they itched. He turned his head the other way.
Oh, he said and a low voice.
Alright, give me your hands and then were going to get those throwing stars we have in the basement. Youre going to help fight, too and kill the people who killed your loved ones. The angel said.
Yes, Michael said smiling and wiping away the tears still.
He loved his family but, just didnt want to show it. Michael put his hands up so the angel could heal them for him.
Thank you. he said in a kind voice.
The bruises slowly started to fade away because of the angels magic. Then the pain started to ease a little bit. About ten minutes later Michaels hands were perfectly fine.
Jeeze, that took a lot of mana out of me. I really dont have a lot of mana to start out with but, since Im not an angel anymore I have even less mana. I had gotten stripped of being one.
Then why do you still take the form of one? Michael asked.
Well, since Im not an angel anymore it doesnt mean I have to die. I cant die because angels dont fight and Ill never die because. . . I dont know. The angel said scratching its head.
Well, I need those throwing stars to fight. Dont I? Michael asked.
Yeah, follow me. It said.
Michael nodded and then got up off the bed. He followed the angel into the basement. Some water was in the basement. The building was built out of a special magic so very little water could get in even if the door was wide open. Nobody knows the secret.
The angel opened the door full of throwing stars. It then pulled a box out and placed it on the groudn right in front of Michael.
Your bag is over there. The angel said pointing to it.
Michael ran over to it and bent down to pick it up. He then quickly sprinted back to the box of stars and started loading it with throwing stars.
Thank you. Michael said kindly.
Your welcome, The angel replied in a sweet voice.
Michael loaded his bag until he couldnt fit anymore throwing stars in it. The throwing stars the box contained were:
Ilbis
Mokbis
Subis
Shuriken
Kunai
And
Wolbis.
Michael was set to fight.
lol, wolbis X)
Your sentences are a bit choppy, but other than that, it was great =D
I really enjoyed it :]
Thanks
Your sentences are a bit choppy, but other than that, it was great =D
I really enjoyed it :]”
lol,wolbi’s?
Lol subi
i liked this one best over the 2 good job
Thanks for reading.
The story is nice . But ( is it just me ? ) the story line seems pretty choppy and the main character doesn’t seem to be shocked that Lucas is his father . He probably didn’t even know he was his father in the first place form the way you wrote this .
Try and make it more. . .
Well.
Make us surprised, d00d.
He was too embarassed.
This is definitely better. You’ve come along way in just a short time. I’d still have to say that the dialog was still a little but choppy. Something about the sentences made me think that these people don’t, attend school. I don’t know. The action and everything was much better. I can’t wait for the next chapter.
Really? Thanks >:]
Yeah, it’s getting better, J-Boy.
*Points gun to your head*
Make chapter 4 >:l
I have halfa page to go
LOLZ T.T
~Cheezy
LOLZER T.T
oii whens next one? no itme soon?
answer plawks so i know when to bother u about it x3
~Cheezy
Err, within 3 days i hope. Or possibly if I feel like it I’ll finish it in a few hours.