[After browsing through several stories (especially those of Mipsacri and Aaru), I decided to try my hand at this story-telling business… Mind you, it’s my first attempt, and I am not exactly a great writer. Therefore, I give you permission to flame all you want >:D. I also took a few creative liberties to make things, hopefully, interesting.]

Our story begins on Maple Island in a very peculiar bush… One which a person can hear snores… specifically, Jello’s snores.

Prologue
Jello never really liked Maple Island. He found that all the adults said they were busy, but never really moved from their spot. It was always, “Oh! Jello! Help me deliver this letter!”, or “Tell my sister that I want some mushroom soup!”, or some other seemingly useless errand. Of course, some did present a challenge. Namely, those that required killing monsters. Would you be fond of dueling a restless mushroom as big as yourself? How about 20?

So Jello fooled around (and took secret naps in his bush) on Maple Island and eventually got enough money for a ticket to the fabled Victoria Island…

———————-

“I’d like a ticket to Victoria, please!”, I said to Captain Shanks.

Shanks stared at me. “Ya looks a wee bit weak to me, mate. Ar ya shore ya want to go to Victoria?”

What nerve! This guy just flies a ship around, and he tells me I’M weak? “Of course.” I replied with a smirk.

“Wotever floats y’boat, sonny. Heh heh. Hop on.”

A few uneventful hours later, good ol’ Cap’n Shanks announced that we arrived at Victoria. Eager to see a change in scenery, I opened the door and gracefully… tripped and fell on my face.

“Ow… What was that?” I look backwards and see a strange black bag lying at my feet. After a few minutes of staring at it and poking it, I saw faded print on the side: “Open at your own risk.” Being the mischeivous (and ignorant, too!) person that I am, I pulled on the strings.

What a bad idea.

The bag promptly exploded in my face. What’s more, when I finally gathered enough wits together, I found myself face to face with… a big toy horse. With a big toy knight riding on top.

-stare-

“What a joke”, I said while giving it a solid whack with my sword. Mistake number two. You can’t believe how fast that toy horse can run. Fleeing for my life and yelling a stream of unintelligible curses, I finally managed to escape off the boat, only to find my dear Captain Shanks laughing at me.

“HAR HAR HAR. I tolds ya youse was too weak!”

Glaring at him, I turned around and had my first encounter with the TURD kind.

“LOLZ |_00|< 6uY5! //|-|47 4 n00b! |-|3 |=3|_|_ |=0|- 73|-| |346! 4|||) |_00|< 47 |-|15 ||4|/|3! //7|= |<1|||)4 ||4|/|3 15 j3|_|_0?!” the …thing… said.
(Translation: LOLS Look guys! What a noob! He fell for the bag! And look at his name! What the f*** kind of name is Jello?!”)

I ponder over what he just said. It does seem rather familiar, yet completely foreign at the same time. I will soon learn that this strange alien language is aptly called “noobspeak”.

While they laughed their dear heads off, I slipped away, surprised and hurt, imagining what other surprises are waiting for me on this now-labeled-completely-hostile land…