———————————————
/s lol wil u b my grlfrend plis comon i ppay u gud muney plzzz
———————————————

So I’ve noticed a lot of you losers have trouble making online friends. Many of these problems have roots in the way you portray yourselves in your little “communities”.

/sneer

Here are a few tips.

The first point I would like to draw attention to is the importance that you

Think of a creative name.

A username is the first thing that people see before you tell them anything else about yourself. Your name will let people make assumptions about your personality before they even begin to talk to you.

Therefore it has to be clevar.

• Avoid usernames that are capitalized. These look too much like actual names, can be identified with persona, and are overall bad.
• Adjectives that describe the character you wish to play are great. Superb ideas include “dark”, “light”, “happy”, etc. After all, only weirdoes role-play these days.
• On a similar train of thought, try including the class you’re playing. Or Xs. Xs are great.
• If your username contains numbers, they should not, by all means, be meaningful or hold some special meaning.

I find the best fallback is a “blind cat on catnip doing the waltz across [your] keyboard”.

After coming up with a name for yourself, remember to

Always play a girl character.

Everyone wants to be friends with girl characters. After all, there’s a chance that they might, in fact, be female.

Iepiat’s ‘Law of Desperation’ states: The number of empty slots in one’s “inventory” divided by one’s character level equals the number of random buddy requests received.

‘Cause nothing says awesome like a level 3 female vagrant sell cheap buttsecks plz i need penya.

If you somehow possess terrible motor skills (or simply are an insubordinate fool) and you selected “male” while creating your avatar, you can make up to it by being certain you always

Run around nekkid.

When people see your digital flesh, they’ll be clamoring to buddy you. Fighting that level 75 Giant Greemong while wearing no armor at all shows everyone around you that you have no fear.

The “extra damage taken” thing is seriously just a glitch in the game.

Lousy programmers.

Always talk in /shout.

As everyone knows, the key to a lasting relationship is good communication. How can you expect anyone to like you for an instant if you continue to speak in that bland white text that is “Chat”? You have to make yourself heard. The absolute best way to do this is to hold conversations with others using the /shout function.

Got something to tell your party? Shout!

Want to comment on your friend’s weapon? Shout!

Need to greet someone who’s hovering a foot away from you? Shout!

Use caps for everything.

This ties in with the last tip. Typing with caps is the solution to bad communication.

Personally, whenever I play any game, I MAKE SURE TO PLAY WITH CAPSLOCK ON AT ALL TIMES. That key was made for a purpose! With caps on, I don’t have to worry that people with bad eyesight won’t be able to understand me.

By now you should be swimming in buddy requests; however, there’s still the matter of knowing which people are actually worth being friends with. An excellent method of finding this out is to

Beg for penya/items.

In shout.

With caps.

Begging is an amazing way to separate out the kind people and the mean ones. No one wants to be friends with cheapskate losers, right?

Now that I’ve covered the basics, let me delve into how you should play the game. Never, never, never be afraid to

Insult people haphazardly.

A good example of someone to insult would be the arses who refuse to give free penya to your hawt level 3 female vagrant.

After all, there’s really nothing they can do, except type insulting things back at you, which you can ignore with confidence. That macho attitude will surely attract the girls.

Or guys.

Whatever.

Another way to build up your reputation is to

Pretend that you’re either drunk, high, or stoned.

Or casually mention that you do these types of things all the time. It’s a total turn-on. Plus, the indecipherable typing and bad decision making is just another added bonus.

Spend as much time as possible training.

Common sense says that higher leveled people must be cooler. After all, they’re the ones with the uh, dedication, and umm, patience to get to that high of a level. No one can argue with that.

Most importantly of all,

Be yourself.

Lololz!!1!oneone!!!eleven