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It’s what’s for dinnah.
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Well, that was a fun weekend. I set aside a few hours of free time especially to play Maple Story, to congratulate myself for, uhh, umm… Pshh. For surviving the week. These past three-ish days have been filled with the ZPQ, guild spam, and lots of dying.

But we’ll get to the dying part later.

First, I want to introduce a person who plays a predominant role in creating the purple river I call the chat box: VampiresClaw, who will be further referred to as Vamp*. What can I say about Vamp? Overall, he’s a great guy, supposing you’re the type of person who never looks at the chat box. Actually, the screenshots here don’t show much of his spam. Mmm. He likes to chat a lot, which is not a bad thing, for Vamp types comprehensibly compared to people you might meet on Vic. As the year has gone by, he’s started off many new characters, getting some to their 50’s and other to their 30’s, but invariably he comes back to his hermit (causing grief for all of us). His spam is the only thing that has kept me sane during ten levels at coolies. [Screenshot 1]

*Names excluded because frankly I don’t trust any of you buggers, especially that guy over there, the one wearing the bright clothes and saying something about the FM, lousy mumble mumble…

Hmm, how to start? I logged on, at 72.66%, instantly getting a free z4 map from a friend. Ka-ching! However, this cleric came, and I was too lazy to chase him out, so I decided to party him.

Big mistake there.

You see, I am a ranger, right? Using strafe, I kill coolies in one or two hits (usually two). This fellow was level 68, with an evil wings, and he killed groups of two or three coolies in maybe four hits. There was a large imbalance of exp traveling thataway, while not much was coming from his end. Oh well. At 77%, a nice cheerful level 73 hermit came hop-skipping-jumping into the channel and tried to take our map.

Huge mistake. [2]

Later, Vamp came into my channel to buy zombie teeth. After I initially refused, he resorted to “supreme tactics”.

Vamp: TEETH PLSSSSS (SSSSSSSSSS) (SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS) (SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS)
Iepiat: You owe me monies
Vamp: nuh uh
Iepiat: uh-huh
Vamp: sorry
Vamp: I have just enough mesos to buy 10k zombie teeth

It turns out he was going to Exchange Quest his level 10 warrior up to level 17 or so, thus skipping some tedious leveling. I decided to accompany him on the boat to Orbis with my very own warrior; however, I was occupied with something when the boat left and I came back to find two Crogs menacing the rigging of the ship. Before I knew it, I had taken a hit from one of the flying beasts. No, I did not die; I had 4885 Hp, after all. [3] I think I saw a stranger’s tombstone fall and disappear, though. Yays.

Deaths: 1

I’m not sure what day I took this screenshot on, but it shows what happens if you announce too many drops to our guild. We beat you over the head with it. Multiple times. Linky

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No explanation required:

<Buddy chat>
Iepiat: Vanya, are you going to play late?
HappyNazgul: No.
Iepiat: Good, that means you can set up a shop and sell my crap. XD
<Guild chat>
GreyDragons: A parasitic worm has taken over nazgul’s brain.
GreyDragons: The nazgul we knew NEVER slept.
GreyDragons: Sleeping is for losers.
GreyDragons: With no life.
Iepiat: Maybe he bought a life on E-bay.
Iepiat: Hmm.
Iepita: I’ve heard you can buy anything on there.
GreyDragons: Real men play maplestory.
d1ak0ra: …
GreyDragons: And real… women.
d1ak0ra: I missed something.
Iepiat: (we’re joking, if you haven’t noticed)
d1ak0ra: I hope lol
GreyDragons: Joking?????
GreyDragons: I’m having the epiphany of my life.
Iepiat:
GreyDragons: Time to totally play maplestory 24/7.
GreyDragons: Because it’s the most important thing in my life.
GreyDragons: And it makes me a real man.
aZnSUNNYXD: Same.
GreyDragons: And real men are…
GreyDragons: Manly.
GreyDragons: Yes.
GreyDragons: Or something along those lines.
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Soo.. Saturday morning-ish, I achieved two things in game that made me “happy”, insofar as that is possible. First of all, I reached level 73, and with that [4] came a much-anticipated breaking into the one-thousands in bowmen ranking (yeah, I’m lame). I had been 2000 something for a few weeks and had finally passed that mark. I felt wonderful. Interestingly enough, I did not see a parade outside my window, nor confetti, nor fireworks.

That made me sad.

Very sad indeed.

Deaths: 2

…..

Come on, I was joking.

The real reason I died was because I thought I was a real man who could take down a Lycanthrope with strafe. Needless to say, I was overwhelmingly outgunned by its powered up magic attack… thing-y. I came rushing back though and bombed the heck out of that fellow, and his little friends too. Tracking basilmarket traders, I saw that one was in a z4, so I whispered to him and hurried over. He was dead: from poison while ‘afk’, said the level 83 hermit standing there innocently.

Deaths: 3

Mmm. I didn’t care; I partied with the hermit for 20%, then scrolled myself back to town.

Anyway, I came on to participate in the Zakum Party Quest (ZPQ), at which time Vanya doored me from El Nath into the lava at Cave of Trials III. Unfortunately for him, he lagged and died in his own trap, while I used a Unagi and stood happily sniping at Bains. Our guild does the ZPQ almost every weekend, or whenever someone has a notion and a door. Ironically, I went exploring after the ZPQ and died at the hands of level 73 Cerebes, not at the level 90 Bains. I was at 29%, so I started trudging up the snowy hills, partying a hunter and an assassin along they way. They died.

Deaths: 7

So, there’s this fellow ksing a member of a guild named MonkeyMafia, right? And she’s a cleric, in a z2, been there alone for more than forty minutes, okay? Now picture this: a level 84 hermit, 75 priest, 73 ranger, 65 page, 63 spearman, and 60 bandit come bursting through a Mystic Door, all from the same guild, demanding that he leave her be. [5]

I think we gave that guy a heart attack.

Deaths: 8

Iepiat: My party skill is better than yours.. oh wait..
LambdaDriver:
Iepiat:

I am a ranger. Lambda is a page. Sighs. We, the previously mentioned party, were waiting at the entrance to Cave of Trials III for our priest to catch up.

Iepiat: …
Iepiat: Leeeeeeroooooooy Jeeeeeeenkiiiiins!!!

Amazingly, I did not die.

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Edit: I’ll show you picture size too large…