Sinek’s Story (part one)

This is my first story. It is about a thief named Sinek.
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Chapter 1: Fires of Hatred

Sinek just stood watching the flickering flames that used to be his home. The village was covered in blood and was being completly burned down. His friends, his family all gone… Sinek could not bear the thought of it. He yelled into the darkness of the night. A shadowed figure laughed,”You are not even worth killing. Do you want to kill me? You hate is not strong enough. You are not strong enough.”
Sinek withdrew in fear. The person dashed away. “You just let them die. You just stood and watched,” said a voice in his head. He hung his head. How could he have been such a coward? How could he let everyone die without lifting a finger to help. In anger and hate Sinek yelled,”I will become strong enough! And when i do… I’ll kill you!”

Chapter 2:Friends?

Years later Sinek grew in power and in hate. He wanted to become strong enough to kill the one who had taken his village. He trained constantly to defeat Loki. Sinek had known it was the king of thieves that he was after.
During his training on fire boars, Sinek met a mage named SnowLord. They had met when they rested after a long day of hunting and training. “Hello Sinek,”said Snow.
“Hi,”muttered Sinek. “He really doesn’t talk much,” thought Snow.
“Well, uh, want to train together?” asked Snow, “We could be friends…”
“Friends?” muttered Sinek. Could he have friends? He didn’t need them. He had trained himself to hate. Could he just give all that up and become someone with friends?
Snow just watched him. He knew Sinek would have trouble with this question by the way he acted and the way he dressed. He wore a torn cape, a blood slain, a silver identity with a snake on the headband, thick,ripped pants, and a thick shirt He seemed to have wandered alone for a long time. “Nevermind Sinek. Want to just train together?”
Sinek muttered a yes and put on his blood slain. He wore a blood slain to remind him of the night Loki destroyed his home.

6 thoughts on “Sinek’s Story (part one)”

  1. short story but still good, and make the speaking a little better other than thats its good =] i like the starting

  2. I say it’s fair, but it’s too short. Reading it sort of gave me an incomplete feeling; maybe you need a transition?

    7/10

  3. i give u a 6/10, too short and a bit to fast like, “Years later Sinek grew in power and in hate. He wanted to become strong enough to kill the one who had taken his village. He trained constantly to defeat Loki. Sinek had known it was the king of thieves that he was after.
    During his training on fire boars, Sinek met a mage named SnowLord. They had met when they rested after a long day of hunting and training. “Hello Sinek,”said Snow.
    “Hi,”muttered Sinek. “He really doesn’t talk much,” thought Snow.
    “Well, uh, want to train together?” asked Snow, “We could be friends, “
    “Friends?” muttered Sinek. Could he have friends? He didn’t need them. He had trained himself to hate. Could he just give all that up and become someone with friends?
    Snow just watched him.”

  4. I know its not that great. I kinda fell asleep in the middle of writing it. Lol

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