Well idk if I should just end this series or not, cuz obviously I thought this would b a great hit, but its not of course I have some fans, and Some others I dont. But The thing that makes me mad is that people post great work or great job on the comments, but it doesn’t show there name on the “they liked” it part. It makes me mad that some ppl dont have enough time to just say i like it when it doesnt even take a second(unless your comp just plain sucks) Well you can discuss this below on the comment part, but here you go. Part 5, I hope you enjoy.
I woke up the next next morning feeling a whole lot better, I was actually able to get out of my bed now. It must have been Jenna’s healing that did this.
I got out of my sauna bed put on my armour and took my zard, and was out the door ready to tell my answer to Hec, Jenna, and the rest of the guild I havn’t met with yet. I got out of my room, went downstairs past the check in room into the lobby.
Once I got into the lobby I saw Hec, Jenna and what looked like the rest of the guild sitting and drinking coffee, It must have been early in the morning. The guild itself did not look very big besides Jenna and Hec there were 3 people. They almost noticed me immediatly.
“Hey Shannara, ” Hec said in his strong voice like usual.” You must be feeling a lot better”
” I am, thank you,” I replied in an instant.
“Come and join us, let me introduce you to the guild.”
I sat down between Jenna, and what looked like some mage, either fire poisen or ice lightening, couldn’t tell which one. The moment I sat down Jenna blushed.
“Well I should introduce you to the rest of the guild” Hec said in his delighted but powerfull voice.” Lets start out with the one and only other girl, in the guild besides Jenna.” He pointed to a girl that looked like a bowmen, and was also quite pretty. ” This is racheal, she is a very skilled hunter, she has the finest aim in this guild.”
Rachel turned red when I looked at her, I could tell she was very shy.
“Hi.” Is all she said.
“Next is our youngest person in this guild.” I followed Hecs finger toward the person he was leading, which was another bowmen, although he was a male and looked more like a crossbowmen. I could tell what Hec meant by young, but he was very tall and skinny for his age by the looks of it. “This is matt.” Helf said again, “Although he does not have the most accurate shot, He has the most powerfull one.”
“Then our last and final member that you have not met in the guild is darrel. He is a Ice lightening mage, and is the brains of this group.” Darrel on the other hand seemed short for his height, but looked very dangerous if you were his enemy.
” Well and not that you have met all the people in this guild, now comes the time for the answer that everyone has been waiting for Shannara.” Hec said in a change of voice. ” Do you want to join this guild?”
” Hec,” I said with a sigh. ” When you said that I have nowhere to go, it was like you were reading my mind, I do have nowhere to go now.” I sighed again but a deeper sigh .” So I came to my final conclusion.”
Everyone was watching me and holding there breaths, impatiently.
“Yes” I said firmly.
“Welcome aboard then kid.” Helf said proudly.
By the looks of everyones faces they seemed happy that I joined, expecially Jenna.
For the first time in awhile, I felt that I belonged to somewhere.
O i accidently Spelled helf instead of hec near the end of the part, lol
WOOOOOOOOOOOT! Yayy!
And i also like your stories because they come out quick ^^ i dont like to hang on for too long. It kills me ^^
Great! Looking forwards to the end of it.
xx xBLiNG
lozl nice 1 !
C thts wut i mean in the begining of the story y do ppl say nice 1 or great job, keep on doing it, and they dont even post the fact that they like it. No offense to u death534
Can any1 atleast say u liked it one more time? It really wont take tht much time at most it will take 3 seconds,
Also death524 y did u say nice 1 but u didint put u liked it? I wrote it b4 the begining of this stroy,
It was okay. You told where he was going, but you never stopped to explain the scenery and such. Basically, you made the main character seem like he was moving from one plain room to another.
Example: I woke up the next next morning feeling a whole lot better, I was actually able to get out of my bed now. It must have been Jenna’s healing that did this.
I got out of my sauna bed (-points to sauna bed-(Wha? O_O) put on my armour and took my zard, and was out the door ready to tell my answer to Hec, Jenna, and the rest of the guild I havn’t met with yet. I got out of my room, went downstairs past the check in room into the lobby.
First paragraph, FTW~
Add more detail, and be careful about explaining classes, such as Ice/Lightning. You called him Lightening, and so we learn that spell check is evil. Oh, and aprostraphes rock, gotta remember them. >_o
Good luck with your story and such.
~Sono-Arch Cookie of “Oh noes, a shoe!”
First of all, i know there are no such things as sauna bed’s but i decited to add them to make the story sound more interesting. And also wut good would explaining the scenery do? This is how it would sound ” I went through the check room and saw a vase of flowers that absoulutely did not mean anything because a person commented that it would sound better” wut the hell? It doesnt sound right at all, lol, also i did call the i/l ice lightening,
How good the description is in a story is dependent on how skilled the writer is, mind you. If you don’t take criticism seriously, you’ll end up p(-_-p).
~Sono
P.S. You quoted yourself. O_o