You have made an excellently fabulous choice for choosing our game for your leisurely pleasures. We know about the redundancy in the previous statement, so curse you if you felt the need to open your mouth about it.

Now onto the end user agreement. As if you are going to even read it.

Anyway, we at X² Games like going for the casual tone in our agreements. Makes it more interesting to read and at the same time gains your trust. This way, you feel more compelled to press “I agree”. Yes, go press it now; you know you want to.
…….
……

………..
……

………..
……

………..
……

………..
……

………..
……
there
………..
……
is
………..
……
nothing
………..
……
here
………..
……
press
….
“agree”
…….
……

………..
……

………..
……

….
Already…….
……

………..
……

………..
……

….

The End User License agreement has come to an end. (Don’t scroll down any further its just empty white space)
—————————————————————

——————————————

And by agreeing to the End User Agreement, you agree to the following:

(1) You are liable to X² Games
At any moment in time if the corporate headquarters of X² reaches a security breach in security, gets its servers hacked, employees get killed, HQ gets bombed, we bomb a rival game corp, you die from playing our games, we die from playing our games, CEO gets carjacked, CEO gets killed, your computer fries up, our systems fry up from running 58 copies of Half Life and 5 copies of Gunbound (except on Saturdays where the quota is moved up to 84 and 20 respectively), the systems fry up in general, shareholders get pissed at us for something we did, if we hire a hitman to kill someone who pisses us off, if we kill you, if we cause a communist reform in your country; YOU ARE LIABLE! That means that its your fault and you have to pay for it.

(2) Don’t piss off the GMs
If at any point in time a GM(game master) just isn’t ‘feeling you’, you will be banned and your account will be erased. If you are a hacker who pissed off a GM, we give you kudos; normally they wouldn’t care; you’re still banned.

(3) Piss off
If we just don’t like you, we have the right to send a bill right to your house, charging you a fine up to $1000 CDN(canadian). If you live in America, we may charge you up to $1020 US. Why? Just because we can.

(4) No Refund
We like your money. We like it a lot. However, we love it when its in our pockets and not yours. It makes us richer, and you poorer. This way we can use it for nice things like paying that lease on that Ferrari while you use it to pay us. We love you guys; we really do, but only if you have wads of cash lined up in your pockets. When we have to refund, we lose this money. It saddens us to see it leave our hands. Please think about the polar bears.

(5) Your girlfriend/wife/true love is now ours
Hey, if you wanna play our game, you gotta agree to it. Its addicting anyway, so why destroy your relationship then when you can destroy it now! Boyfriends and Husbands are not ours, we don’t want them. Wait a sec, Martinez is breaking up with his husband. Okay! We’ll be taking one boyfriend or husband from you girls for Martinez!

(6) You pledge allegiance to X² Games
You are now a wholly owned subsidiary of X² Games. What we say; you do. Its as simple as that. If we tell you to complete and incredible and impossible feat, we expect you to do it. If we want you to climb mount everest within an hour; you agree to do so or else we make revoke your abilities as a human being.

(7) You are no more a citizen of your own country
All non-Venezuelans are now Venezuelans. All Venezuelans are still Venezuelans; too bad.

(8) You agree that child labor is good
It is, children get money. What more do they want? Education?! Bah! That’s for squares, and we eat square waffles during company breakfasts. By agreeing that child labor is good, we will outsource our jobs to children in Bangladesh, causing hundreds of people in our company to lose their jobs, which ultimately you are liable for (see clause 1). That’s right Jimmy, your daddy just lost his job as concept artist and lead graphic designer and its your fault.

(9) You are not subject to the laws of Venezuela even if you are now it’s resident
You are only subject to the rights laws granted to you in this agreement. Look below for rights and laws.

(10) You have no rights or laws protecting you
If this isn’t self explanatory enough, read the next clause.

(11) Upon agreement, we have the right to end your life if the following categories are met
~You think the Backstreet boys are stupid
~You hate pink
~You hate women
~You beat your wife/girlfriend
~You watch superbowl sundays and leave your wife alone tending to your footstool’s cushion
~You are an INCONSIDERATE JERK THAT LEFT ME ALONE TO WEEP EVERY NIGHT WHILE WATCHING ALL MY CHILDREN ON SOAP CENTRAL! YOU PAYING FOR THESE EMPTY BARRELS OF ICE SCREAM YOU A**H0LE!
~You ***** YOU TOOK MY CHILD AWAY FROM ME! The judge thought I was crazy because of your STUPID testimony on how I WAS DRUNK! I AM NEVER DRUNK! HAND ME OVER MY CHILD! SHE’S MINE! I GAVE BIRTH TO HER!
~Its okay Sharon, I’m okay. I just had an outburst. Danm I hate Stephen soooo much. I need a shoulder to cry on
~Okay Allison, just don’t let your tears on my new shirt; it stains easily.

(12) If you are a male, you are now a female. If you’re a female, you are still female
Hehehe, men are so stupid. They don’t deserve to exist. Women for the win! Were clearly superior to men! Those jerks

(13) You agree not to carry on personal agendas while writing End User Agreements
Allison is now fired because of that.

(14) You as a gamer suck.
Your the one agreeing to it

(15) In general and all aspects of life, you suck
Because we said so; you suck both literally and metaphorically. If we were to provide with food, you will not chew it anymore; you will suck it. If we were to give you a math test, you will not do well, you will suck on it. We will make sure. The men in florescent pink suits and shades are watching you from the corner of that building right there.

(16) We don’t suck
Were too cool for that.

===========================

Please click on the following options to proceed with the sign ups:
>>>I AGREE>>I AGREE MORE>>I WAS GONNA DISAGREE BUT I NOW AGREE

PSS. Or was it?

PSSS. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn

~Guru wuz hurr and clearly bored