This is defiantly not just a way for me to procrastinate making my Mythbusters blog.

By the way, why do they call it procrastinating? Doesn’t that mean that it is positive? It isn’t very good when I waited to do my project for a week and then found out I couldn’t find anything about the topic and had to make a poster to waste space by putting pictures up. But never mind that. There are a lot of things that are weird about the English language, like my Spanish teacher is always telling us about.

I’ve been wondering, NPCs are pretty boring. They are almost lifeless beings. They do less productive things then I do (sleeping and playing video games) and are only useful for getting quests and exposing them for being sexual predetors. Or killing them if the developers are feeling evil when creating the game.

They just stand around and beg for interaction with the player. Not really, but you can see them with their wide-eyes staring you down through the computer screen as if they were saying “You better double click on me” and then cry to themselves when you don’t. I almost feel sorry for those people.

Not really, since they have caused me so much frustration in the past. Their quests are always so long and complicated and have no meaning in the end. I just got you all of those tree stumps that you wanted so use them or something. Don’t just stand around and wait for someone else to get you the same items. I guess my items weren’t good enough for you, you selfish NPC.

No wonder no one wanted to talk to you. I wish they were more like Oblivion NPCs. You can kill them if they annoy you. Like that Maplestory guy with the huge glasses and green robe that wants to you to get some book for him. He always annoys me with those small eyes of his. And then I can’t even read the books that I get him. Thanks a lot.

Not all NPCs are lifeless souls that can’t move from one place to another. Like the NPCs in your squad in tactical shooter games. They follow your every command and never complain about being used as human shields while I get to the next piece of cover. But then they usually end up trying to hide behind a chair and end of dying. Then you have to go and revive them or they will die and you get a game over screen.

Then when you die, nobody can revive you. It is probably because they are too lazy and can’t do anything without my help. I guess all NPCs are bad. I want to go swing my sword at a Maplestory NPC to show my anger. First I need a sword.

I’ve also been wondering how monsters get all of these equips and money. Do snails have money in their shells or something? And what about weapons? Shouldn’t the monster just use the sword that they are carrying instead of hiding it until some player kills it?

I know that it would be kind of hard for Wild Boars to do anything other then get themselves killed all the time but I think they could realize how to put a sword in their mouth and run into a player with it. You know, if they could spawn for 10 seconds without being killed.

I’m surprised that they were ever able to evolve into Fire Boars in the first place. Some fire mage probably just got a little Shift key happy around them and eventually they just learned to tolerate it so much that they began covered in flames and somehow got more HP because of it.

Anyway, where do monsters store these things? They must be inside their skin or something. But then it would hurt them to have a sword in their stomach. And all of those coins would probably give them nickel poisoning. Maybe it’s just smaller monsters since they don’t attack you when you walk right past them since they are blind.

Speaking of damage, how does it hurt you to bump into a snail? I stepped on one once but it didn’t hurt me. Unless the shell cracked but then you would have to have no shoes on and it would die in the process. Maybe monsters like Horned mushrooms would hurt to bump into, although their horns really aren’t that sharp to begin with.

And there is one last un-MMO related thing I wanted to say. I got Crackdown for the 360 as well as a new microphone since they only last for a month or so before breaking. It’s a GTA-like game except you are a guy who has been given enough steroids to kill a rhino (if steroids were harmful to rhinos in the first place). There isn’t much of story, you just go around and kill the various gang members. But it fun.

You have to increase skills agility, strength, firearms, driving, and explosives. When you do you get more skilled at them (that was extremely obvious) and you max a skill out at 4 stars. It doesn’t take that long to get maxed skills, and I already have a 4 star firearms, agility, and strength rating.

You can jump over skyscrapers and run faster then cars, which can also be picked up and throw at gang members or civilians if you can’t find any gang members. Some cars also transform (not into robots) if your driving skill is good enough but driving is annoying and it is much more convenient to jump across rooftops.

And yes, I was half-asleep was writing this.