Recently, I saw a couple of blogs with lame pickup lines for guys to use on girls that had been frontpaged. For all those who oppose having a pixelated character as a boyfriend, please continue reading. For all those who LIKE having pixelated boyfriends, please press the back button now and continue…doing what you do.

I got given a book (an excellent book) a little while ago as a birthday present. Guess what it contained? Yup, one page and a bit dedicated to female comebacks against the stupid pickup lines that guys like to use. I thought, hey, it’s a little unfair that guys are getting tips on how to harrass women that can’t actually hit them back (as they can in real life) for suggesting such a thing, and that a little payback might be in order. These can even be used to ward off unwanted attentions if you’re already taken. So I’m going to share with you what I read…

1) “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“That’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”

2) “Haven’t we met before?”
“Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

3) “Your place or mine?”
“Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

4) “Is this seat empty?”
“Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

5) “I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy!”
“You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?!”

6) “I know how to please a woman.”
“Then please leave me alone.”

7) “So what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a female impersonator.”

8) “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!” <– (only to be used somewhere ‘bar’-like, obviously xD)
“Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”

9) “Hey baby, what’s your sign?”
“Do not enter.”

10) “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.”
“Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”

11) “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
“Unfertilised!”

12) “I’d go through anything for you.”
“Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”

13) “I would go to the end of the world for you!”
“Yeah, but would you stay there?”

Undoubtably, some work much better in real life. Still, some are pretty effective even over the internet. So…flame if you want. But personally, I thought that they were excellent comebacks.

Edit: A lot of people think I’m being serious about this. Well, I’m serious if they’re actually using the pickup lines on you. If not, then this is just for laughs. xD