Hello people, I am pissed off for three reasons.

One;
AdventureQuest’s commercials says that they are a free, fun game and they are cool and you kill real, hip, and cool demons. After I started playing it, it was a bunch of crappy animation of talking, talking, talking, and lagging (even when the quality was set down to low).

Two;
I just wasted 4 hours on this shitty game. Yes I know, I’m sorry.

Three;
This chocolate I’m eating right now has nuts and fruit in it. I LIKE MY CHOCOLATE PURE, NUTLESS, AND FRUITLESS. DAMN IT!
[h]Anyways, [/h]

I’m sure all of you know about AdventureQuest. You’ve seen it all over websites blinking talking how awesome, fun, and free it is. Unfortunately for me, I got so tired of the advertisement and tried it out.

So basically you start out either as a Paladin, Mage, or Rogue. I chose rogue because I like to steal stuff, same reason why I chose to become a Disco Bandit on Kingdom of Loathing. Okay and then I selected this very exposed girl with this red claw thing and a sword as my partner and bought this ninja cat thing and this dragon bat thingy as pets.

I went out to fight monsters! Yeah!
And guess what?! The background scene and monsters doesn’t even match with the town’s surroundings too! I went to this town called Frost-something and before I went there, expecting the place to have ice monsters in it, I bought some fire spells, fire weapon, and fire pet. Once I got there, what do I get?

A skeleton guy with bows and arrows coming out of stoner pub!

Another thing, the fight takes like 3 hours just to kill a friggin’ monster. I only do like 2 ~ 15 damage to the monsters and they have like 200-something HP. My partner and pet doesn’t do anything as well; look at my partner, that girl with the sword.

From the cut scenes things that this thing made me watch, this girl is able to lift this fat guy by his neck without a drop of sweat. Now, thinking that this girl is like uberly powerful and crap; she only does around 2 ~ 8 damage to monsters. Even my ninja cat thing does more damage than her! But then the ninja cat doesn’t always attack.

I was looking around to see if there’s anything else to do in this game other than hit, wait, receive damage, repeat. There’s this thing called “A rip in the sky” and place above the inn’s attic that only level 10 or above can enter. So I was like, “Okay, screw that.”

Then I went to the shops again to buy some rogue stuff. I see Paladin stuff.. Err, wtf Archer stuff? I thought there were no archer classes.. Wow guess what, there IS NO rogue stuff in this town. It’s actually in another town, and wtf, needs to be level 10?

….

[2 hours later]

I finally got to level 10! Yeah, they pretty much got the same stuff, and it was a waste of my time too. Look at all this garbage! Seriously, even Neopets and Runescape is better than this.

Oh yeah, this game is said to be “free”, however, everything I’ve done were just the limitations to people who doesn’t pay.

Pay? Pay what?
Well, first of all, it states that if you pay, you can become a Guardian and you’re able to do all these! I don’t understand why you wanna get future perverts, but whatever, you get it anyway.

Oh and look, it says “… benefits … A whole lot more.”
Does it give me discount on gasoline? Does riding dragons safer than riding a car? Does it reduce the amount of green house gases in the world?

No.

Friggin’ no.

If you’re actually willing to pay 19.95 dollars to become a Guardian! If you’re THAT hardcore of a loser, pay 5 dollars more to become an X-GUARDIAN! That’s 24.95 dollars in total!

I can buy like a private airplane with that kind of money!

Right now, I’m just as pissed as that time I bought Megaman Battle Network 4: Blue Moon. That game sucks so bad that it makes MMBN3 look like its sequel. After you defeat Duo (the final boss in the game), the music of every town is the same exact panic-like song. Which is so annoying when you’re trying to get this godly chip that game guides on the internet tells you to do like 500 things at the same time.

That’s not what the game pissed me off, what pissed me off was that the same literally makes you repeat the entire storyline THREE TIMES. The only difference is, the bosses are more HP and the viruses are at it’s third version.

Either way, Megaman Battle Network 4 sucks ass. AdventureQuest sucks even more.

Thank you.