Well It kinda stinks that I can’t apq anymore I just wish der was someone out there who would just have a wedding for the sake of apq!!! SOMEONE WHO WOULDN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!! But meh. Guess I can’t go around asking to be a princess and BOOM it comes true I’m a princess. So in other words I can’t ask for things and be greedy and expect them to happen. And also I duno I flet a loss in a way but on the other hand I also felt this huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I’m trying to take away all the hurt in my life by seeing a therapist and not getting into a relationship that I don’t want to be in… There was only ever this one relationship in my entire life that I enjoyed and I let it slip through my hands ><… And now I want the feeling of completeness back with another person that I like. Only the way I see it since I know it won’t work out he is like my shoulder to lean on… I have half the feeling since I do like him and he knows it and stuff and doesn’t run away. At the same time I can just be normal around people and then mabye the feelings will develope between me and someone else. I just dun wanna crash and I am either gonna marry on ms to apq or marry because I actually like em.